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rockies
Sep 6, 2007, 6:21 AM
Post #76 of 135
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In reply to: Re: [jcrew] Would you ditch the girlfriend in this situation? by dynosore Post: sounds like you and "the gf" (real affectionate there) are perfect for each other in a dysfunctional, co-dependent sort of way. Any woman with any self-confidence would have given you the boot after that little stunt...."yeah honey you wait by the car for 4 1/2 hours while the rest of us have fun". Now if collegekid could find a doormat like that he'd be all set, little insecure control freak that he is. In reply to: Any woman????  I think not. I don't share your view. # If the girl wanted to sit by the car and not join in, then that's her problem, her choice. Why ruin everyone else's day as a result? I would have done what he did had it been the other way round; she knew the plan, the world doesn't revolve around her does it?? Had it been me, I would not have wanted to stop him climbing, and would not have got a monk on either for him continuing with his plan, she knew the score; and especially when more than 2 people are involved in that plan (how she acted was like a spoilt brat). More to the point, I have plenty of male friends that would feel exactly the same way as I do. Oh and yes, had it been the other way round, and if it were me, I'd definately have said, "goodbye"  I mean if nothing in common with me then what is the point? And personally I choose people that have alot in common and who are not selfish or so narrow minded.
(This post was edited by rockies on Sep 6, 2007, 6:32 AM)
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overlord
Sep 6, 2007, 7:05 AM
Post #77 of 135
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zionvier wrote: So my girlfriend said she wanted to learn to climb (she is afraid of heights, but so am I when I'm not on a rope). So I figured taking her out this past Monday with 3 other girls (one of which is her cousin) and 1 other guy would be good for her so she would have the support from other females. It's just going to be simple single pitch sport climbs 5.6-5.8 stuff and she'd be on top rope of course. She was completely fine with that. So we get to the trail, it's about a 3 minute hike, but one section of about 5-8 feet might be classified as 3rd class. She gets to that point, I'm packing all the gear we need (rope, couple harnesses, draws, webbing, water, etc). So I go up this section without thinking anything about it, turn around and see my girlfriend standing 3 feet back from it telling her cousin she can't do it. So after a few minutes of this, another group goes past (one person wearing flip-flops) her cousin and I continue on and she ends up staying down by the car (we could see her and she could see us the entire time). We figured that give her time and let her see a bunch of people go past she'll come up sooner or later, especially since the car is locked and she has no water. :-D But instead, 4 1/2 hours later we're done climbing and pack up and head back down. The girlfriend didn't say a word on the way home even though her cousin and I were talking. Do you guys think the decision to enjoy the day anyway was appropriate? 
i mean really...
a) shes afraid of heights
b) it was her first trip
c) and you left her at the first little difficulty
id say thats reason for dumping and calling the older brother to smack you around a bit right there. next time, rope up and try again. if there is a next time. phobias are not rational and what might seem totally safe to you might be panic-inducing for her.
and trust me, i have had experiences with ppl who have fear of heights and climbing. i friend of mine used to freeze when about 4m off the deck. well, after some patience and positive motivation its no longer such a problem.
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azrockclimber
Sep 6, 2007, 10:46 AM
Post #78 of 135
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I think she might have grounds to lose you...
You can't invite her and then not make every effort to help her get over her fear. That is a bit harsh.
I have been in a very similar situation many times.... You should have roped her up and belayed her that short section of 3rd class.....FOR REAL.... I have done it before... then you would have had to go through the same thing for the rest of the day. That kind of a day isn't really about climbing pitches...it is about making te noob enjoy the experience as best as possible...
It is easy to forget that 3rd class to a "normal person" can be very intimidating.... She must have been so pissed 5 hours later...haha...
my 2cents
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azrockclimber
Sep 6, 2007, 10:47 AM
Post #79 of 135
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haha...it looks like I am not alone on my sentiments...
good luck with the girlfriend climbing thing.
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ClusterFock
Sep 6, 2007, 11:24 AM
Post #80 of 135
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You can't invite her and then not make every effort to help her get over her fear
In the guy's defence, he did say she asked to be taught.
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dbrayack
Sep 6, 2007, 11:55 AM
Post #81 of 135
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I had a GF like that once...she climbed a tree because she wanted to learn how to rappel....after 10 minutes of coaxing, she wouldn't do it, so I left for like 10 minutes...came back and she was on the ground (successfully rappelled.)
She was pretty pissed, but I told her that she had done it and done it on her own. I was really compassionate when I was 16 years old....
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dbrayack
Sep 6, 2007, 11:56 AM
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Personally, I probably wouldn't date a girl unless she was a pretty hardcore climber anyways (either that or totally uninterested in climbing.)
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markc
Sep 6, 2007, 2:20 PM
Post #83 of 135
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azrockclimber wrote: That kind of a day isn't really about climbing pitches...it is about making te noob enjoy the experience as best as possible...
This is the crux of the issue for me. If I'm taking new people climbing, the day isn't focused on me. It's about providing a fun introduction for climbing, laying a foundation for good practices and some small successes. Leaving your girlfriend on a third-class approach isn't the way to do that.
When taking new people out, there are several things I consider. Is the approach reasonable? If there's an access climb or tricky section, how will I help them work through it? Do I need to rig a hand line, give a belay, or just stay beneath them to point out the route and offer encouragement?
Does the crag have enough easy routes? If not, it's going to be a very long, frustrating day. Especially if you don't have climbing shoes for everyone, route selection is extremely important. With a new group of climbers, you have to do all the planning and consider the weakest person in the group.
If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day.
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ClusterFock
Sep 6, 2007, 2:20 PM
Post #84 of 135
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(either that or totally uninterested in climbing.)
Sounds like my partner. Then again, she has climbed indoors with me twice...and she sorta watches climbing DVD's with me after sex.
I wouldn't want her to be really or that into it.
Climbing is my thing. Netball is hers ;)
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shanz
Sep 6, 2007, 2:23 PM
Post #85 of 135
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A few key points ive come to
1. your lack of compasion towards your girlfriend is sad. Keep this up you will never have a lasting relationship
2. With some of the responses ive seen its no wonder there are so many single male climbers out there.
3. I think we need more input to make a more informed decision.
4. And more importantly was why nobody said anything about a 3 way boff session with your girl AND her cousin.
(This post was edited by shanz on Sep 6, 2007, 2:23 PM)
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dingus
Sep 6, 2007, 2:41 PM
Post #86 of 135
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shanz wrote: 4. And more importantly was why nobody said anything about a 3 way boff session with your girl AND her cousin.
She can't surmount a 3rd class hump let alone a 3rd partner?
DMT
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dbrayack
Sep 6, 2007, 2:42 PM
Post #87 of 135
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ClusterFock wrote: (either that or totally uninterested in climbing.) Sounds like my partner. Then again, she has climbed indoors with me twice...and she sorta watches climbing DVD's with me after sex. I wouldn't want her to be really or that into it. Climbing is my thing. Netball is hers ;)
I've always figured "As long as she's got something else, then that's cool".....you know....if she watches TV or something, no thanks, but if she was a runner, or a biker, whatever....same mind set.
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climb_eng
Sep 6, 2007, 2:58 PM
Post #88 of 135
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My suggestion to the OP.... this relationship isn't going to last. Stop trying to get her to climb, dick stab her in the pooper and then move on.
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mturner
Sep 6, 2007, 2:58 PM
Post #89 of 135
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markc wrote: If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day.
Ha! That's so much easier said then done with someone like that.
shanz wrote: 4. And more importantly was why nobody said anything about a 3 way boff session with your girl AND her cousin.
Did you just get here?!
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markc
Sep 6, 2007, 3:16 PM
Post #91 of 135
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mturner wrote: markc wrote: If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day. Ha! That's so much easier said then done with someone like that.
Yeah, I thought it might get a laugh. Truth be told, I'm not much for pushing people if they're that afraid of heights. I would have tried to at least get her to the base so she could hang out with the group, but I wouldn't have any great plans for her climbing future.
The OP mentioned it was a third-class section, but not how tall it was or the landing. Sometimes it's more about the look of something than the actual difficulty. The woman might have been coaxed through it and realized it wasn't such a big deal.
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reg
Sep 6, 2007, 3:24 PM
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mturner wrote: markc wrote: If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day. Ha! That's so much easier said then done with someone like that.
nah - it's easy! and u have no idea who "someone like that" is to make that kind of judgement my friend
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mturner
Sep 6, 2007, 3:29 PM
Post #93 of 135
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reg wrote: mturner wrote: markc wrote: If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day. Ha! That's so much easier said then done with someone like that. nah - it's easy! and u have no idea who "someone like that" is to make that kind of judgement my friend
Well right back at you, you don't have any idea to assume it would be easy.
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reg
Sep 6, 2007, 3:56 PM
Post #94 of 135
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mturner wrote: reg wrote: mturner wrote: markc wrote: If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day. Ha! That's so much easier said then done with someone like that. nah - it's easy! and u have no idea who "someone like that" is to make that kind of judgement my friend Well right back at you, you don't have any idea to assume it would be easy.
if one has a willing person that's already climbed with you in the gym, is ur "girlfriend", wants to learn more and climb outside - it doesn't take much to get them to where they want to be. hell - there almost there! it just takes ah small bit of patience and encouragement form the "boyfriend" and the family member to help them along - it COULDN'T GET ANY EASIER!
my point to you was in reference to your comment about the person ("someone like that") - you don't know her, so don't stick her in some box that you've created.
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mturner
Sep 6, 2007, 4:08 PM
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reg wrote: mturner wrote: reg wrote: mturner wrote: markc wrote: If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day. Ha! That's so much easier said then done with someone like that. nah - it's easy! and u have no idea who "someone like that" is to make that kind of judgement my friend Well right back at you, you don't have any idea to assume it would be easy. if one has a willing person that's already climbed with you in the gym, is ur "girlfriend", wants to learn more and climb outside - it doesn't take much to get them to where they want to be. hell - there almost there! it just takes ah small bit of patience and encouragement form the "boyfriend" and the family member to help them along - it COULDN'T GET ANY EASIER! my point to you was in reference to your comment about the person ("someone like that") - you don't know her, so don't stick her in some box that you've created.
Point taken, but you don't know her either do you? And to say it would be easy is quite an assumption. He didn't just walk away, he waited for three groups to pass and she still wouldn't come...not exactly my idea of a "willing person."
You're right I jumped to a conclusion (on my mat) about the girl, but I have a girlfriend just like that and if she doesn't want to do something there's no convincing her, that's all I was getting at.
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suzie_cuzie
Sep 6, 2007, 4:13 PM
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jt512 wrote: zionvier wrote: So my girlfriend said she wanted to learn to climb (she is afraid of heights, but so am I when I'm not on a rope). So I figured taking her out this past Monday with 3 other girls (one of which is her cousin) and 1 other guy would be good for her so she would have the support from other females. It's just going to be simple single pitch sport climbs 5.6-5.8 stuff and she'd be on top rope of course. She was completely fine with that. So we get to the trail, it's about a 3 minute hike, but one section of about 5-8 feet might be classified as 3rd class. She gets to that point, I'm packing all the gear we need (rope, couple harnesses, draws, webbing, water, etc). So I go up this section without thinking anything about it, turn around and see my girlfriend standing 3 feet back from it telling her cousin she can't do it. So after a few minutes of this, another group goes past (one person wearing flip-flops) her cousin and I continue on and she ends up staying down by the car (we could see her and she could see us the entire time). We figured that give her time and let her see a bunch of people go past she'll come up sooner or later, especially since the car is locked and she has no water. :-D But instead, 4 1/2 hours later we're done climbing and pack up and head back down. The girlfriend didn't say a word on the way home even though her cousin and I were talking. Do you guys think the decision to enjoy the day anyway was appropriate? I would swear a post like this would have to be a troll, but you have over 100 posts, and they can't all be trolls; so, instead, I have to conclude that you are truly a moron. Jay
You know, for a long time I thought you were just a know-it-all asshole, but I have to admit, you've really grown on me.
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suzie_cuzie
Sep 6, 2007, 4:16 PM
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bmelanson wrote: NSFW wrote: mturner wrote: majid_sabet wrote: In reply to: I would swear a post like this would have to be a troll, but you have over 100 posts, and they can't all be trolls; so, instead, I have to conclude that you are truly a moron. Jay I always enjoy reading your conclusions Jay needs one... [image]http://img274.imageshack.us/img274/4894/jumptoconclusions2xk.jpg[/image] Here you go [image]http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/6369/roflbotvcdoja2.jpg[/image] Can i get that into a t-shirt?
I'll take one in medium.
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reg
Sep 6, 2007, 4:25 PM
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mturner wrote: reg wrote: mturner wrote: reg wrote: mturner wrote: markc wrote: If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day. Ha! That's so much easier said then done with someone like that. nah - it's easy! and u have no idea who "someone like that" is to make that kind of judgement my friend Well right back at you, you don't have any idea to assume it would be easy. if one has a willing person that's already climbed with you in the gym, is ur "girlfriend", wants to learn more and climb outside - it doesn't take much to get them to where they want to be. hell - there almost there! it just takes ah small bit of patience and encouragement form the "boyfriend" and the family member to help them along - it COULDN'T GET ANY EASIER! my point to you was in reference to your comment about the person ("someone like that") - you don't know her, so don't stick her in some box that you've created. Point taken, but you don't know her either do you? And to say it would be easy is quite an assumption. He didn't just walk away, he waited for three groups to pass and she still wouldn't come...not exactly my idea of a "willing person."
right - i don't know her - that doesn't matter either cause anyone that's gone that far - wants to succeed - it just takes a little effort on his part
to quote the op: "So I go up this section ("5-8' feet" long) without thinking anything about it, turn around and see my girlfriend standing 3 feet back from it telling her cousin she can't do it. So after a few minutes of this, another group goes past (one person wearing flip-flops) her cousin and i continue on"
he's ten feet from her and there not talkin!! he ain't back there helpin her. WTF!
mturner wrote: You're right I jumped to a conclusion (on my mat) about the girl, but I have a girlfriend just like that and if she doesn't want to do something there's no convincing her, that's all I was getting at.
there ya go again
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mturner
Sep 6, 2007, 4:43 PM
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reg wrote: mturner wrote: reg wrote: mturner wrote: reg wrote: mturner wrote: markc wrote: If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day. Ha! That's so much easier said then done with someone like that. nah - it's easy! and u have no idea who "someone like that" is to make that kind of judgement my friend Well right back at you, you don't have any idea to assume it would be easy. if one has a willing person that's already climbed with you in the gym, is ur "girlfriend", wants to learn more and climb outside - it doesn't take much to get them to where they want to be. hell - there almost there! it just takes ah small bit of patience and encouragement form the "boyfriend" and the family member to help them along - it COULDN'T GET ANY EASIER! my point to you was in reference to your comment about the person ("someone like that") - you don't know her, so don't stick her in some box that you've created. Point taken, but you don't know her either do you? And to say it would be easy is quite an assumption. He didn't just walk away, he waited for three groups to pass and she still wouldn't come...not exactly my idea of a "willing person." right - i don't know her - that doesn't matter either cause anyone that's gone that far - wants to succeed - it just takes a little effort on his part
there you go again. Look man, you're making just as many assumptions as I am. You weren't there and to say you could have convinced her is a leap of faith. I'm not saying I could or could not have, but to assume you know this girl well enough to convince her is far fetched at best.
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reg
Sep 6, 2007, 5:12 PM
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mturner wrote: reg wrote: mturner wrote: reg wrote: mturner wrote: reg wrote: mturner wrote: markc wrote: If I came to the crag and found your poor girlfriend sitting locked outside the car, I'd probably offer to take her with my group. We'd coach her through the 3rd class section, get her on a route or two, and offer her a lift at the end of the day. Ha! That's so much easier said then done with someone like that. nah - it's easy! and u have no idea who "someone like that" is to make that kind of judgement my friend Well right back at you, you don't have any idea to assume it would be easy. if one has a willing person that's already climbed with you in the gym, is ur "girlfriend", wants to learn more and climb outside - it doesn't take much to get them to where they want to be. hell - there almost there! it just takes ah small bit of patience and encouragement form the "boyfriend" and the family member to help them along - it COULDN'T GET ANY EASIER! my point to you was in reference to your comment about the person ("someone like that") - you don't know her, so don't stick her in some box that you've created. Point taken, but you don't know her either do you? And to say it would be easy is quite an assumption. He didn't just walk away, he waited for three groups to pass and she still wouldn't come...not exactly my idea of a "willing person." right - i don't know her - that doesn't matter either cause anyone that's gone that far - wants to succeed - it just takes a little effort on his part there you go again. Look man, you're making just as many assumptions as I am. You weren't there and to say you could have convinced her is a leap of faith. I'm not saying I could or could not have, but to assume you know this girl well enough to convince her is far fetched at best.
yeah maybe so - let's drop it and go climbin!
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