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ricardol
Nov 7, 2003, 4:42 PM
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recently some aid climbing ethics came into question .. and the debate raged on and on -- and probably will still be going on even as the internet decays into the nothingness that it came from ..
.. a bunch of posts came about trying to explain what aid climbing is like -- so i though it would be great to post aid climbing analogies ..
... post your favorite..
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"aid climbing is like wrapping a raw steak to your head, and then sticking it into the mouth of a hungry lion... repeat for several days without feeding said lion"
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-- ricardo
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camhead
Nov 7, 2003, 4:46 PM
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aid climbing does nothing more than take hangdogging to its ballsiest extreme.
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mother_sheep
Nov 7, 2003, 4:55 PM
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aid climbing = wall masochism
You know that dream that you sometimes have when your trying to run as fast as you can but it seems like you're running in slow motion, I liken this to aid climbing but in a vertical sense.
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epic_ed
Nov 7, 2003, 5:03 PM
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"Aid climbing is a lot like working on a ship dock...but without the floor." --Russ Walling
Yep. A whole lotta freight hauling. It's also a lot like vertical chess -- always planning and strategizing for the next several moves. The more experienced a player you are, the better you plan and win your battles.
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pete_the_eskimo
Nov 7, 2003, 5:05 PM
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Aid climbing is like hugging your girlfriend.
If by girlfriend I mean toaster. And by hugging I mean sticking a fork into.
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junnos
Nov 7, 2003, 5:12 PM
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Aid Climbing is like my job, except it's a lot harsher and harder!
Hard Aid is like having a loaded gun pointed at your head with a twitchy trigger finger.
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dsafanda
Nov 7, 2003, 5:15 PM
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Aid climbing is like defusing a time bomb. It often includes hours of boredom punctuated my moments of sheer terror.
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mother_sheep
Nov 7, 2003, 5:17 PM
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Just thought of another one. I'm truly sick.
"An aid climber is like an old man without his Viagra. It takes a lot of work to get him up. " tracyroach
he he
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vertical_reality
Nov 7, 2003, 5:29 PM
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In reply to: "An aid climber is like an old man without his Viagra. It takes a lot of work to get him up. " tracyroach
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 5:30 PM
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"....kissing your sister - it's nice, but it don't mean nothin'."
Spoken by yours truly in the early 80's, when I was busy making first free ascents all over the province
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 5:32 PM
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"Aid climbing is like kissing your sister - it's nice, but it don't mean nothin'."
[This quote was spoken by yours truly in the early 80's, when I was busy making first free ascents all over the province]
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ricardol
Nov 7, 2003, 5:36 PM
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In reply to: "Aid climbing is like kissing your sister - it's nice, but it don't mean nothin'." [This quote was spoken by yours truly in the early 80's, when I was busy making first free ascents all over the province]
i guess now it means something to kiss your sister?
:?
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russwalling
Nov 7, 2003, 5:58 PM
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AID CLIMBING IS LIKE: A scared and unsure amateur trying autoerotic asphyxiation for the first time.... it's fun and scary and every now and again you feel real good after passing out.
Yeah.... that's the ticket!
Russ
http://www.FishProducts.com
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dingus
Nov 7, 2003, 6:11 PM
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Scotty trying to do a last minute save on the Enterprise.
"Captain, I do na think she can handle the strain!"
"Scotty, I need a trenched head in 3 minutes!"
"Ah Captain, that's impossible! I can na trench heads that fast!"
Spock: "Captain, the hook edge we are standing on will fail completely in approximately 2 minutes and 12 seconds. Correction, 2 minutes and 10 seconds."
"Scotty? You have two minutes to get that head in!"
"All right Captain, I'll do it. But I can na guarentee it will hold!"
(1 minute 59 seconds elapse)
"OK Captain, I've got the head in the trench. Go ahead and stand on it. Brace yourselves lads!"
Spock: "The head apprears to be holding Captain. But I estimate complete head failure in 3 minutes 7 seconds."
"Scotty, I need a blade in that hairline crack up there in two minutes!"
"CAPTAIN! I can na do tha! The blade is too wide! The crack is too narrow! She won't go in! It wasn't designed for this! It'll never handle the strain!"
"Scotty, you have two minutes!"
"I suppose I could drive it in as far as she'll go, tie it off and hope for the best. That's our only chance!"
"Do it."
Spock: "The blade is holding Captain. We now have 22 moves left on this mission. We have 3 hours, 13 minutes and 12 seconds to sunset."
"Scotty, I need to be up to that ledge in 3 hours flat!"
"Captain! Are you out of your fucking mind! It took us 2 hours for the first 10 moves of this mission! We can na fly you know!"
Aid climbing is like that... Mission Impossible, over and over and over.
And then you get to do it over again.
I do na think I can handle the strain.
DMT
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gravitytheory
Nov 7, 2003, 6:16 PM
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Hard Aid Climbing is like playing Russian Roulette with a semi-automatic pistol.
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flamer
Nov 7, 2003, 6:21 PM
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There's not much deference between doing alot of acid and climbing hard aid- they both fry your brain.
josh
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 6:24 PM
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Aid climbing is, without doubt, the slowest form of human locomotion.
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crotch
Nov 7, 2003, 6:26 PM
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Getting that VD test where they put the toilet brush up your caulk.
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 6:29 PM
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Aid climbing is, without doubt, the slowest form of human locomotion.
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tucsonalex
Nov 7, 2003, 6:35 PM
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LOL, dingus is funny.
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bspisak
Nov 7, 2003, 7:09 PM
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I don't know who said it:
Aid climbing is just vertical baggage handling.
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iamthewallress
Nov 7, 2003, 7:19 PM
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Aid climbing is, like, the best way to spend a day by yourself getting vertical when you won't free solo.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to get places where you can camp on the rock for days on end.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to justify buying a whole new rack when you already own one.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to become blood friends with someone over the course of a single climb.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to put yourself in a situation where you are accutely focused on a the tunnel of view inches in front of your face for hours at a time.
Aid climbing is, like, the best way to keep the rest of the world in a place where you do not even consider it's existence for days at a time.
Aid climbing is, like, the only type of climbing that makes me cry on the summit because I'm at once so grateful to have finished the climb and so sad that it is over.
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 8:29 PM
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She's, like, starting to sound like a Hoser.
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flamer
Nov 7, 2003, 8:54 PM
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In reply to: She's, like, starting to sound like a Hoser.
Wow, if she's starting to sound like a hoser(and I don't think she is), then she must have started listening to you.
ATTENTION!! We have an emergency!!
Someone MIGHT actually be listening to the KING OF THE HOSER'S!!!!
josh
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passthepitonspete
Nov 7, 2003, 9:19 PM
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Awwwww, like, take off, eh?
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elcapinyoazz
Nov 8, 2003, 1:46 AM
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Hey Pete,
Been exposing yourself to any ladies lately? Why don't YOU take off, eh! phukin wanker. You're gonna do that shizz to the wrong girl one day and find yourself on the wrong end of an azz kickin.
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passthepitonspete
Nov 8, 2003, 5:00 AM
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Well I'll be...
....another nameless, faceless and dickless detractor!
[And I was starting to get bored around here, however I am particularly flattered that this fake user was set up for no other reason than to flame me. Evidently I'm doing something right...]
There are cowards everywhere, but nowhere will you find more than in an internet forum. You sure as hell won't find them on the summit.
Yet again, another eight weeks spent in Yosemite, and not one detractor actually had the balls to come up to me and say anything.
Just once - just once! - I would so love to meet one of these types face to face. Alas, it will never happen. Cowards are all cut of the same cloth.
{sigh}
(( {sigh} ))
[I have been {sigh}ing a lot lately. It's been a swell autumn season. One person knows why. That's enough.]
(k)
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scubasnyder
Nov 8, 2003, 5:22 AM
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walking up a hill, but is necesarry in some situations
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micahmcguire
Nov 8, 2003, 5:46 AM
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its as close as it gets to being married to your gear. you have down times, up times, and every now and again there is something almost sexual about it......kinda......really vaguely
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mrme
Nov 8, 2003, 6:04 AM
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my friend always says 'it is like having fun only diffrent'
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rmiller
Nov 8, 2003, 6:16 AM
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Aid climbing is like hitting your head with a hammer . . . it feels so good to stop.
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javaguy
Nov 8, 2003, 11:37 AM
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In reply to: Aid climbing is like hitting your head with a hammer . . . it feels so good to stop.
HAHAHAHA!!!
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rokshoxbkr19
Nov 8, 2003, 3:47 PM
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aid climbing is, like the wrong name. It should be called aid moving up the rock very, very slowly. Where is the climbing? No for real, I have never aided, so I can't make a real opinion on this. I have never freed anything that I couldn't climb through, I haven't done any trad harder than 5.12. I sort of see it as a necassary evil of climbing. I don't really think it is climbing, because your not really climbing, at least not in my definition of climbing. You need to be pulling down to be climbing. However, if there is an unclimbable pitch in the middle of a route and the only way to it is to aid it than it is a must. That said, I definitely believe aid takes skill and a set of big ones depending on the route.
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passthepitonspete
Nov 8, 2003, 5:57 PM
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Spoken slowly in Redneck accent, a la Deliverance:
"Ah think this here boy needs some edge-uh-mah-CAY-shun.
Hey, boy! Wha don' you take these here chisels an' heads, and step raht inta them thar topsteps .....
.... and when yur done, boy - you can ride that pig!"
SQUEEEEEEEEEAL!!
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elcapbuzz
Nov 10, 2003, 4:15 AM
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In reply to: Yet again, another eight weeks spent in Yosemite, and not one detractor actually had the balls to come up to me and say anything. Just once - just once! - I would so love to meet one of these types face to face. Alas, it will never happen. Cowards are all cut of the same cloth. {sigh}
That's funny.... I'm a detractor. Don't you remember me, inches from your face telling you if you EVER made a rude sexual comment in my presence again..... I'd rip your gonads off and shove them down your throat.
Yeah, I bet you thought you were REAL bitchn' at that point in time, eh?
See you around, Pete.
{SIGHHHH}
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photon
Nov 10, 2003, 4:35 AM
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In reply to: that's funny.... I'm a detractor. Don't you remember me, inches from your face telling you if you EVER made a rude sexual comment in my presence again..... I'd rip your gonads off and shove them down your throat.
hmm that's seems very sexual and rude all at the same time
anyway aid climbing is like a long construction job that never seems to end where you can't really phuq up any of your work that you're never paid for and your glad you did it only after you've done it.
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photon
Nov 10, 2003, 4:40 AM
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In reply to: that's funny.... I'm a detractor. Don't you remember me, inches from your face telling you if you EVER made a rude sexual comment in my presence again..... I'd rip your gonads off and shove them down your throat.
hmm that's seems sexual violent and rude all at the same time not that he didn't have it coming but
anyway aid climbing is like a long construction job that never seems to end where you can't really phuq up any of your work that you're never paid for and your glad you did it only after you've done it.
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iamthewallress
Nov 10, 2003, 6:59 PM
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In reply to: Just once - just once! - I would so love to meet one of these types face to face. Alas, it will never happen. Cowards are all cut of the same cloth.
I saw you in the Valley last spring, Pete. I got in my truck and locked the doors and drove away. If being afraid of being alone with you makes me a coward, then I accept the title.
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alpinelynx
Nov 11, 2003, 12:07 AM
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In reply to: That's funny.... I'm a detractor. Don't you remember me, inches from your face telling you if you EVER made a rude sexual comment in my presence again..... I'd rip your gonads off and shove them down your throat.
OMG that is what aid climbing is like! (and damn funny too)
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copperhead
Nov 11, 2003, 4:43 AM
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Aid climbing is like...
Post #445, time to reach 4 my .45
Ozzy Rules
------------------------------------
Ha
Ha
Ha
Ha
Ha
Ha
Ha
Ha
That's pretty funny.
Jeeze, I'd hate to be anyone who really pissed off Ammon.
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addiroids
Nov 11, 2003, 6:35 AM
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(A variation on a previous one, but I heard it like this):
Hard aids climbing is like spending all day with a loaded gun to your head. You feel like you are going to die at any moment, but are too bored to care.
Also, you know you are an aids climber when after you have placed your last bolt and hooked for 5 moves in a row, you stand up and walk to the anchor tree at the summit.
TRADitionally yours,
Cali Dirtbag
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ricardol
Nov 11, 2003, 6:34 PM
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In reply to: aid climbing is like a trainwreck crashing through my bank account.
ain't that the truth .. ebay anyone?
-- ricardo
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passthepitonspete
Nov 12, 2003, 4:01 AM
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You know you've been on the wall too long when you reach the summit, try to stand up, and then fall over - because you've forgotten how to walk!
[Fortunately, it comes back fairly quickly...]
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