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addiroids
Mar 30, 2002, 6:19 AM
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Registered: Oct 11, 2001
Posts: 1046
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"Your bin of specialized aid gear is bigger than your bin of trad gear."
"Your pins weigh more than your cams."
"You have joined the half-mile-high club."
"You don't sleep in a bed from May to October."
"Eight year old girls free climb harder than you."
I will stop here so as to not piss on others' fire. But let's hear some good ones from all you dirtbags out there.
TRADitionally yours,
Cali Dirtbag
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beyond_gravity
Mar 30, 2002, 6:34 AM
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you call yourself "Dr. Piton"
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elcapbuzz
Mar 30, 2002, 6:36 AM
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Registered: Aug 24, 2001
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Every piece of gear in the whole pitch, Riiiiipss!!!
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beyond_gravity
Mar 30, 2002, 6:37 AM
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you tie into your gear loops
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krustyklimber
Mar 30, 2002, 6:46 AM
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Registered: Jan 25, 2002
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When you say "There, take that" upon completing a placement, immediatly followed by "oh s**t, Hey, wake up" and "Watch me!"
Jeff
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elcapbuzz
Mar 30, 2002, 6:48 AM
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You yell, "Ready to haul!!", at least twice a day.
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apollodorus
Mar 30, 2002, 8:12 AM
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Registered: Feb 18, 2002
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When you start inventing/making your own pieces. And they stick.
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agrauch
Mar 30, 2002, 8:34 AM
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Registered: Nov 20, 2001
Posts: 217
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You're reading this thread while waiting for your flight to CA.
See you in the Valley tomorrow.
[ This Message was edited by: agrauch on 2002-03-30 00:35 ]
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redox
Mar 30, 2002, 9:01 AM
Post #9 of 38
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Registered: Mar 29, 2002
Posts: 30
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You know you're an aid climber when
a string of #0 heads is commonplace.
a shaky #2 cam in a flaring crack is like being on solid ground.
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krustyklimber
Mar 30, 2002, 10:43 AM
Post #10 of 38
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Registered: Jan 25, 2002
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When not a single chalk print marks your passing
Jeff
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beyond_gravity
Mar 30, 2002, 4:54 PM
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Hammering your nuts is not a bad thing
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elcapbuzz
Mar 30, 2002, 5:23 PM
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Registered: Aug 24, 2001
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You have a beer and a smoke break, right in the middle of the pitch.
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blacksamba
Mar 30, 2002, 5:28 PM
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Registered: Mar 28, 2002
Posts: 128
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you are an aid climber when...
you have a poop tube and like to talk to your friends about advanced pooping technique
You like sheep
you thought about getting that 30 foot stick clip, but not telling your partners about it
you thought about how to have sex in your ledge... but forgot to find a girlfriend
prefer olde english after its set in the pig for a week
cant ever go sport climbing because the fifi hook on your harness always snags on belly bolts
ben
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beyond_gravity
Mar 30, 2002, 5:45 PM
Post #14 of 38
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bringing a pig up the wall with you is not as bad as it sounds
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smithclimber
Apr 1, 2002, 2:20 AM
Post #15 of 38
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Registered: Feb 15, 2002
Posts: 338
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...you need a double gear sling.
Or the fact that you can't fit all the gear on your harness and need ANY type of gear sling for that matter.
...you need to remind your belayer to not fall asleep.
...you pull on draws when you are supposedly "sport climbing". A0 is A0, right?
Worse yet, you pull on draws while toproping.
...you have to beg, swindle, or bribe others to help you carry your crap to/from the cliff.
...you would rather do three sketchy hook moves in a row rather than step out of your aiders to bust one move of 5.6 freeclimbing.
...you consider bringing along things like a stove, pots, beer, kegs, or an immense amount of water for the purposes of operating your SUN SHOWER!
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beyond_gravity
Apr 1, 2002, 6:47 PM
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Your name is Dr. Jumar even though you own Petzl Expedition ascenders, not Jumars.
I am Dr. Jumar,
I just brushed my teeth.
"Jug with Jumars" Jeremy
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passthepitonspete
Apr 1, 2002, 8:24 PM
Post #17 of 38
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Registered: Oct 10, 2001
Posts: 2183
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An essential piece of gear on your two week solo ascent is your Inflatable Helga Doll.
Helga never says "no"...
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smithclimber
Apr 2, 2002, 12:07 AM
Post #18 of 38
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Registered: Feb 15, 2002
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Good one Pete.
If anyone would know...
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apollodorus
Apr 2, 2002, 1:36 AM
Post #19 of 38
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Registered: Feb 18, 2002
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Is Helga solar powered, or just a cold fish that doesn't move?
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wallhammer
Apr 2, 2002, 1:58 AM
Post #20 of 38
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Registered: Oct 26, 2001
Posts: 265
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your climbing rack is worth three grand, your car is worth three hundred. you use your hammer to beat on the bats as they exit the crack your on. you sleep on your portaledge in your garage because its more comfortable than your bed. bolts make nice footrest. your harness has a Lay-z-boy sofa logo sewn on it.
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crackaddict
Apr 2, 2002, 3:26 AM
Post #21 of 38
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Registered: Jun 24, 2000
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You only buy harnesses with holsters!
You seam seal and duct tape everything!
Brown urine from dehydration does'nt bother you!
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crazywacky
Apr 2, 2002, 5:04 AM
Post #22 of 38
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Registered: Jan 31, 2002
Posts: 409
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Brown urine ??!!??
He said it was "Sun Tea"!!!
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passthepitonspete
Apr 2, 2002, 5:13 AM
Post #23 of 38
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Registered: Oct 10, 2001
Posts: 2183
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After placing a bunch of #1 heads and manky pins behind crumbling flakes, you finally get a regular Chouinard hook duct taped to the rock, and you think,
Woo-hoo! It's bomber, dude!
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mpepe
Apr 3, 2002, 4:58 AM
Post #24 of 38
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Registered: Mar 6, 2002
Posts: 28
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...you flip through the guidebook and get all excited when the difficulty rating doesn't include 5.whatever.
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blacksamba
Apr 4, 2002, 1:13 AM
Post #25 of 38
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Registered: Mar 28, 2002
Posts: 128
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your inflatable helga doll has as many duct tape patches as your haul bag
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krustyklimber
Apr 6, 2002, 3:03 AM
Post #26 of 38
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Registered: Jan 25, 2002
Posts: 1650
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When you permanently mount aiders on your home wall, so you can practice topstepping!
Jeff
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passthepitonspete
Aug 29, 2003, 6:08 PM
Post #27 of 38
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Registered: Oct 10, 2001
Posts: 2183
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.... you skulk through your neighbourhood on Recycle Day, and score two litre pop bottles - by the score! - from your neighbours' blue recycle boxes.
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climber49er
Aug 29, 2003, 7:09 PM
Post #28 of 38
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Registered: Mar 8, 2003
Posts: 1404
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You know you're an aider when...
You know what the heck Pete meant by that last comment.
I'm not, I don't.
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passthepitonspete
Aug 29, 2003, 7:12 PM
Post #29 of 38
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Uh, they're water bottles for the wall, mate....
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pirate
Aug 29, 2003, 7:44 PM
Post #30 of 38
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Registered: May 12, 2003
Posts: 106
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you come home one day and your wife has converted a bedroom into your gear room cause she thinks it will be easier then having your stuff spread out over every inch of floor space in the living room.......Most of all she knew how to rack your stuff up to put in the room because shes seen you do it so many times.
Youve used your nut tool as pro
things duct taped to the wall as pro instill confidence
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climber49er
Aug 29, 2003, 8:24 PM
Post #31 of 38
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In reply to: Uh, they're water bottles for the wall, mate....
Oh, that means you're a dirtbag aid climber. Not like water bottles cost all too much..
I sure hope you sanitize them well!
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passthepitonspete
Aug 29, 2003, 8:54 PM
Post #32 of 38
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What aid climber isn't a dirtbag?! We've spent all our money on climbing gear!
I sanitize them very well - I run the threads under the tap. Perfect.
You know you're an aid climber when....
.... you don't care if your water bottles are well sanitized or not.
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iamthewallress
Aug 29, 2003, 9:13 PM
Post #33 of 38
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Registered: Jan 2, 2003
Posts: 2463
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You know you are an aid climber when...
...you are overjoyed to find bootie water of unknown vintage in old 2 L pop bottles and you guzzle it like it's the fountain of youth.
...you have callouses on your lower back from hauling and hanging in your harness.
...you slow down to evaluate large detritus on the road side based on it's potential for use as a belay seat.
...you can no longer make a fist.
...you have knee pad tan lines.
...you don't care if the crusty spoon you are about to eat off of was last used by you or your partner or even if that last use was on a previous wall. Same goes for the toothbrush.
...you have ever been handed a bag of poop from someone who loves you with no kink or malice intended.
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flamer
Aug 29, 2003, 10:54 PM
Post #34 of 38
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Registered: Oct 22, 2002
Posts: 2955
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....when you get a new guide book you skim over all the classic free climbing looking for obscure aid lines....
...you always leave all of your gear in your car(including the ledge and bag), just in case....
josh
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crotch
Aug 29, 2003, 11:00 PM
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Registered: Jan 16, 2003
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In reply to: ...you always leave all of your gear in your car(including the ledge and bag), just in case....
Don't mean to sound like your mom, but....
I hope you've got homeowners insurance, cause your auto won't cover that if the car gets jacked.
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atg200
Aug 29, 2003, 11:13 PM
Post #36 of 38
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Registered: Jul 27, 2001
Posts: 4317
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yup, figured that one out the hard way a few months ago. sucked.
i totally do the first one. i just found a copy of the front range climbs book in a used bookstore flamer - rusted dagger looks sweet!
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alpinelynx
Aug 30, 2003, 1:38 AM
Post #37 of 38
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Registered: Aug 11, 2002
Posts: 280
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You yell "Ready to haul!!" when free climbing.
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braon
Sep 16, 2003, 5:56 AM
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Registered: Sep 4, 2003
Posts: 154
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As a strait man, you love playing with nuts and peckers all day long. :lol:
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