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addiroids
Mar 30, 2002, 6:19 AM
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Registered: Oct 11, 2001
Posts: 1046
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"Your bin of specialized aid gear is bigger than your bin of trad gear."
"Your pins weigh more than your cams."
"You have joined the half-mile-high club."
"You don't sleep in a bed from May to October."
"Eight year old girls free climb harder than you."
I will stop here so as to not piss on others' fire. But let's hear some good ones from all you dirtbags out there.
TRADitionally yours,
Cali Dirtbag
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beyond_gravity
Mar 30, 2002, 6:34 AM
Post #2 of 38
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Registered: Jan 2, 2002
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you call yourself "Dr. Piton"
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elcapbuzz
Mar 30, 2002, 6:36 AM
Post #3 of 38
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Registered: Aug 24, 2001
Posts: 460
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Every piece of gear in the whole pitch, Riiiiipss!!!
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beyond_gravity
Mar 30, 2002, 6:37 AM
Post #4 of 38
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Registered: Jan 2, 2002
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you tie into your gear loops
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krustyklimber
Mar 30, 2002, 6:46 AM
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Registered: Jan 25, 2002
Posts: 1650
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When you say "There, take that" upon completing a placement, immediatly followed by "oh s**t, Hey, wake up" and "Watch me!"
Jeff
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elcapbuzz
Mar 30, 2002, 6:48 AM
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Registered: Aug 24, 2001
Posts: 460
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You yell, "Ready to haul!!", at least twice a day.
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apollodorus
Mar 30, 2002, 8:12 AM
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Registered: Feb 18, 2002
Posts: 2157
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When you start inventing/making your own pieces. And they stick.
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agrauch
Mar 30, 2002, 8:34 AM
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Registered: Nov 20, 2001
Posts: 217
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You're reading this thread while waiting for your flight to CA.
See you in the Valley tomorrow.
[ This Message was edited by: agrauch on 2002-03-30 00:35 ]
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redox
Mar 30, 2002, 9:01 AM
Post #9 of 38
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Registered: Mar 29, 2002
Posts: 30
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You know you're an aid climber when
a string of #0 heads is commonplace.
a shaky #2 cam in a flaring crack is like being on solid ground.
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krustyklimber
Mar 30, 2002, 10:43 AM
Post #10 of 38
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Registered: Jan 25, 2002
Posts: 1650
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When not a single chalk print marks your passing
Jeff
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beyond_gravity
Mar 30, 2002, 4:54 PM
Post #11 of 38
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Registered: Jan 2, 2002
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Hammering your nuts is not a bad thing
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elcapbuzz
Mar 30, 2002, 5:23 PM
Post #12 of 38
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Registered: Aug 24, 2001
Posts: 460
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You have a beer and a smoke break, right in the middle of the pitch.
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blacksamba
Mar 30, 2002, 5:28 PM
Post #13 of 38
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Registered: Mar 28, 2002
Posts: 128
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you are an aid climber when...
you have a poop tube and like to talk to your friends about advanced pooping technique
You like sheep
you thought about getting that 30 foot stick clip, but not telling your partners about it
you thought about how to have sex in your ledge... but forgot to find a girlfriend
prefer olde english after its set in the pig for a week
cant ever go sport climbing because the fifi hook on your harness always snags on belly bolts
ben
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beyond_gravity
Mar 30, 2002, 5:45 PM
Post #14 of 38
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Registered: Jan 2, 2002
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bringing a pig up the wall with you is not as bad as it sounds
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smithclimber
Apr 1, 2002, 2:20 AM
Post #15 of 38
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Registered: Feb 15, 2002
Posts: 338
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...you need a double gear sling.
Or the fact that you can't fit all the gear on your harness and need ANY type of gear sling for that matter.
...you need to remind your belayer to not fall asleep.
...you pull on draws when you are supposedly "sport climbing". A0 is A0, right?
Worse yet, you pull on draws while toproping.
...you have to beg, swindle, or bribe others to help you carry your crap to/from the cliff.
...you would rather do three sketchy hook moves in a row rather than step out of your aiders to bust one move of 5.6 freeclimbing.
...you consider bringing along things like a stove, pots, beer, kegs, or an immense amount of water for the purposes of operating your SUN SHOWER!
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beyond_gravity
Apr 1, 2002, 6:47 PM
Post #16 of 38
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Registered: Jan 2, 2002
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Your name is Dr. Jumar even though you own Petzl Expedition ascenders, not Jumars.
I am Dr. Jumar,
I just brushed my teeth.
"Jug with Jumars" Jeremy
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passthepitonspete
Apr 1, 2002, 8:24 PM
Post #17 of 38
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Registered: Oct 10, 2001
Posts: 2183
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An essential piece of gear on your two week solo ascent is your Inflatable Helga Doll.
Helga never says "no"...
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smithclimber
Apr 2, 2002, 12:07 AM
Post #18 of 38
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Registered: Feb 15, 2002
Posts: 338
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Good one Pete.
If anyone would know...
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apollodorus
Apr 2, 2002, 1:36 AM
Post #19 of 38
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Registered: Feb 18, 2002
Posts: 2157
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Is Helga solar powered, or just a cold fish that doesn't move?
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wallhammer
Apr 2, 2002, 1:58 AM
Post #20 of 38
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Registered: Oct 26, 2001
Posts: 265
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your climbing rack is worth three grand, your car is worth three hundred. you use your hammer to beat on the bats as they exit the crack your on. you sleep on your portaledge in your garage because its more comfortable than your bed. bolts make nice footrest. your harness has a Lay-z-boy sofa logo sewn on it.
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crackaddict
Apr 2, 2002, 3:26 AM
Post #21 of 38
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Registered: Jun 24, 2000
Posts: 1279
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You only buy harnesses with holsters!
You seam seal and duct tape everything!
Brown urine from dehydration does'nt bother you!
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crazywacky
Apr 2, 2002, 5:04 AM
Post #22 of 38
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Registered: Jan 31, 2002
Posts: 409
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Brown urine ??!!??
He said it was "Sun Tea"!!!
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passthepitonspete
Apr 2, 2002, 5:13 AM
Post #23 of 38
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Registered: Oct 10, 2001
Posts: 2183
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After placing a bunch of #1 heads and manky pins behind crumbling flakes, you finally get a regular Chouinard hook duct taped to the rock, and you think,
Woo-hoo! It's bomber, dude!
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mpepe
Apr 3, 2002, 4:58 AM
Post #24 of 38
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Registered: Mar 6, 2002
Posts: 28
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...you flip through the guidebook and get all excited when the difficulty rating doesn't include 5.whatever.
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blacksamba
Apr 4, 2002, 1:13 AM
Post #25 of 38
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Registered: Mar 28, 2002
Posts: 128
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your inflatable helga doll has as many duct tape patches as your haul bag
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