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j_ung
May 11, 2005, 5:52 PM
Post #51 of 80
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Registered: Nov 21, 2003
Posts: 18690
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"Mmmmmm... my own fat... mmmmmm..."
"Lying is a two-way street, Marge. You believed it."
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mr_krinkle
May 11, 2005, 6:16 PM
Post #52 of 80
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Registered: Feb 6, 2005
Posts: 25
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Wiggum: "This is clearly a case of animal cruelty. Do you have a permit for that?"
Carnival Worker: "No problem sir, its in my car." (gets into car and drives away)
Eddy: "You got to stop being so trusting chief."
Wiggum: "I'd rather let one thousand guilty men go free than chase after them"
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shakylegs
May 11, 2005, 6:39 PM
Post #53 of 80
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Registered: Aug 20, 2001
Posts: 4774
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Smithers: I think women and seamen shouldn't mix, sir.
Mr. Burns: We all know what you think.
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chanceboarder
May 11, 2005, 6:57 PM
Post #54 of 80
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Registered: Oct 6, 2003
Posts: 1348
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Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
and...
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
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rockguy
May 11, 2005, 7:35 PM
Post #55 of 80
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Registered: Feb 5, 2005
Posts: 31
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Homer: Marge, this is gonna take all night. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, then start grilling up some hamburgers. :lol:
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ropeburn
May 11, 2005, 7:54 PM
Post #56 of 80
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Registered: May 19, 2003
Posts: 594
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"All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
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web_slave
May 11, 2005, 8:07 PM
Post #58 of 80
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Registered: Aug 1, 2003
Posts: 255
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Homer - 'A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. They're big, they're about 400 pounds.....they make ice. No wait, a woman is a lot like a beer. They smell good, they look good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one. But you can't stop at one, you have to drink another woman.'
'Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.'
'Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at Church? That Captain Whatizname? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to see those Police academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear nobody laughin', did you?'
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phillygoat
May 11, 2005, 9:20 PM
Post #59 of 80
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Registered: May 22, 2004
Posts: 428
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Homer(with snooty voice): "Hello. My name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a package for me."
Man behind counter: "OK then, and your first name?"
Homer: "I don't know."
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kachoong
May 11, 2005, 9:44 PM
Post #60 of 80
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Registered: Jan 23, 2004
Posts: 15304
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In reply to: What's Santa's Little Helper doing to that dog? Looks like he's trying to jump over, but he can't quite make it. In reply to: I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! In reply to: Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! In reply to: I'm never going to be disabled. I'm sick of being so healthy. In reply to: I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
and my favorite:
In reply to: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. |
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climbingbetty22
May 12, 2005, 12:21 AM
Post #61 of 80
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Registered: Dec 29, 2002
Posts: 1538
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My favorite episode ever...when Homer gets prescribed medicial maijuana:
Homer: "Yes I can-ibus!"
:lol: :lol: :lol:
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m.a.h
Deleted
May 12, 2005, 12:24 AM
Post #62 of 80
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Bart "I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks, and blows."
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melodicllama
May 12, 2005, 12:38 AM
Post #63 of 80
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Registered: Nov 10, 2004
Posts: 239
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Ned: I'm all for saving the kids, but did you really have to cut off my roof?
Homer: That's what we agreed; my car, your roof!
Ned: But its my car!
Homer: Well, yea....
Ned: Whatever happened to the plow from your old snow plow business?
Homer: What? I never had a snow plow business!
Ned: Sure you did. You're wearing the jacket right now!
Homer: I think I know my own life Ned. *hums Mr. Plow theme song*
one-liners from same episode:
Security guard: Oh no, my horoscope was right! *looks at horoscope, which says you will face challenges today*
Lisa: That sounded like a silo tipping over!!!
Groundskeeper Willy: Thats the last time you'll slap your willy around!
best episode EVER
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organic
May 12, 2005, 1:14 AM
Post #64 of 80
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Registered: Jul 16, 2003
Posts: 2215
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"So I have this friend... his name is Joey.. Joe..Joe Junior Shabadu"
HAHAHAHAHA
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rjtrials
May 12, 2005, 3:56 AM
Post #65 of 80
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Registered: Sep 7, 2002
Posts: 342
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In reply to: "All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer."
DOH!!!
You took my favorite quote of all time....
Here is another good one
Edna Krabapple: "Don't kill yourself. The more poorly
you do the more state funding this school gets".
RJ
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comet
May 12, 2005, 4:20 AM
Post #66 of 80
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Registered: Feb 5, 2005
Posts: 358
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Ralph: Mrs. Hoover, my worm fell in my mouth and I ate it. Can I have another one?
Mrs. H: No, Ralph. Put your head on your desk and try to sleep while the other children are learning.
Ralph: Sleep! That's where I'm a viking.
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dlintz
May 12, 2005, 8:25 PM
Post #67 of 80
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Registered: Sep 9, 2002
Posts: 1982
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Homer-"First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women."
Homer's arm is stuck in the vending machine:
Man: Homer, this...this is never easy to say. I'm going to have to saw your arms off. [brandishes]
Homer: [plaintive] They'll grow back, right?
Man: Oh, er, yeah.
Homer: Whew!
Just as the man is about to begin cutting, another man asks Homer if he's just holding on to the can. "Your point being?" queries Homer.
d.
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wanderinfree
May 12, 2005, 8:53 PM
Post #68 of 80
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Registered: Jun 7, 2004
Posts: 476
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Release the hounds! --Montgomery Burns
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dlintz
May 12, 2005, 9:03 PM
Post #69 of 80
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Registered: Sep 9, 2002
Posts: 1982
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"Release the robotic Richard Simmons." -Montgomery Burns
d.
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nurocks
May 12, 2005, 9:14 PM
Post #70 of 80
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Registered: Jul 19, 2003
Posts: 788
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"Da goggles....dey do nothing...."
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kachoong
May 12, 2005, 9:31 PM
Post #71 of 80
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Registered: Jan 23, 2004
Posts: 15304
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"Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"
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blondgecko
Moderator
May 13, 2005, 6:44 AM
Post #72 of 80
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Registered: Jul 2, 2004
Posts: 7666
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Homer's brother: Lady, you've just given me the idea of a lifetime! How can I repay you?
Lady: Please don't hurt me.
Homer's brother: Consider it done.
:lol:
Oh, and Ralph Wiggum:
"Principal Skinner and Mrs Krabopple were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me!"
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tattooed_climber
May 13, 2005, 1:45 PM
Post #73 of 80
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Registered: Dec 13, 2003
Posts: 4838
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first you get the sugar.....
then you get the power....
then you get the women.
homer
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phillygoat
May 13, 2005, 1:57 PM
Post #74 of 80
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Registered: May 22, 2004
Posts: 428
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Homer: "I'm someplace where I don't know where I am."
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taualum23
May 13, 2005, 1:57 PM
Post #75 of 80
(2257 views)
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Registered: Dec 13, 2002
Posts: 2370
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Homer "My wife is not a doobie, to be passed around...I took a solemn vow on our wedding day to bogart her forever!"
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