you know he'll be. I know it's hard, but given that you're losing sleep over it

-Taz

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IMO it is not just for climbers-- if you were together for a while you had common friends, common places you liked to hang out at...

How much are you going to change your life to avoid running into him? Should you really?

i want to think that the better someone gets to know me, the more they are going to like me. because i like to think i am a likable, attractive person. and what hurts so bad is that if he liked me so much at first, and progressively less so later on, it means that the more he got to know me, the less he liked me. it means that someone who i let get close to me decided i wasnt what they wanted, wasnt right, wasnt good enough, or they just didnt like me. so that's why this is painful.

Here is my mature advise on open and honest communication.

One, I wouldn't let him see how you are devastated. If, or rather, when you run into him, smile widely, give him a hug, treat him like a brother. Nothing drive them crazier to see the girl who is suppose to be devastated look and act as if they could care less. Please tell me he doesn't read rc.com.

Two, getting over a man requires men. Kind of like fighting fire with fire. I would say surround yourself with men who adore you. It's rebound time, babe. Sometimes rebounding can be a really emotionally...ur...ok mainly physically fulfilling time.

Three, getting over men requires women as well. No, I'm not talking lesbian adventures. Surround yourself with supportive girlfriends, get drunk, cry, laugh. I say they are better than therapists.

Four, combine one and two. Go deliberately to the New with your hot rebound, look better than ever, and then give him a BIG hug just to ignore him for the rest of the time. Damn straight your climbing are is YOUR climbing area. Now act like it.

I guarantee you will receive the drunken phone call within few months from this ex telling you how you were the best thing that had happened to his pathetic life.

Five, when you receive his pathetic phone call, tell him in your sweetest voice that you are so sorry because you care so much about him, but you've met someone who made you realize how wrong he was for you (even if it is a lie). Then call your girlfriends from three and celebrate.

I call this Chris's 5 stages of getting over a man. Please don't roll your eyes when I say, you will eventually meet someone who will make you thank god, the stars, and even just a walking dog that he left you when he did. Good luck.

what hurts so bad is that if he liked me so much at first, and progressively less so later on, it means that the more he got to know me, the less he liked me. it means that someone who i let get close to me decided i wasnt what they wanted, wasnt right, wasnt good enough, or they just didnt like me. so that's why this is painful.

The NRG, though, with respect to just the two of us, was mine. i met him there on his first time to the new, and then we roadtripped there together for a few weeks this summer... its really just petty territorialism. i'm so evolved.

Oh Clausti-girl! I hope your weekend went well and that you didn't run into the Brad, but if you did I hope you were able to hold your head high, give him the smile that says "I'm doing just fine without you asshole" and move on surrounded by your hoard of adoring male climbing partners.

Never forget that you are an amazing and fantastic person and that you deserve to be loved by someone who really is worthy of you. Accept nothing less for yourself!!!!

You've got so much great stuff ahead of you- I am so excited for you, for all the adventures you're going to have through the next several years. They aren't going to be quite the same with a man in tow! Remember the wisdom of Solomon- there is a time to reap and a time to sow, there is a time to have a man and a time to live it up being a single gal. Take some time and enjoy being adored by tons of boys without making a pan jealous. Take some time to enjoy doing whatever you want whenever you want without have to figure in another person's needs and wants. Take some time to enjoy being you and realize that you are a whole person- you aren't half a person because you don't have a "better half." All of that is not to say that there aren't certain perks to being in a relationship, its just that sometimes those perks get over-hyped and we fail to appreciate the perks to not being in a relationship.

And always remember that you are going big places- bigger than New Jersey!!!


P.S. It doens't look like Jason and I are going to make it down your way this season. Looks like we'll have to have those ropes mailed afterall. Give me a call about it. We'll reimburse you for the shipping costs.

Clausti chicky poo, how are ya?


oh wow, the climbing relationships are weird eh? just keep climbing. climb for you, it has nothing to do with him. it never did. if he was involved in it, then that's fine, but you're a super strong climber, just keep it up.

when i split from my bf/partner.... i didn't climb for a while. weird eh?

aren't you going on the road soon? do it single, do it stable. trust me :)