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fancyclaps
Nov 15, 2006, 6:49 AM
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This is an idea I have been bouncing around in my head for a while and I was curious about getting some female climber feedback about it.
If you are dating a climber, does it even factor in how hard he climbs?
Would you prefer that he be a stronger climber or equivalent climber to yourself?
Or is it completely irrelevant in the face of the other reasons you are dating him?
So you meet a really nice climber dude who you are romantically attracted to. You guys go climbing and he flails on something you cruise easily. Does this change the way you think of him as a potential relationship candidate? Or does it only change the way you think of him as a climber? Does climbing ability in anyway translate into attractiveness?
Personal experiences?
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clausti
Nov 15, 2006, 2:26 PM
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In reply to: This is an idea I have been bouncing around in my head for a while and I was curious about getting some female climber feedback about it. If you are dating a climber, does it even factor in how hard he climbs? Would you prefer that he be a stronger climber or equivalent climber to yourself? Or is it completely irrelevant in the face of the other reasons you are dating him? So you meet a really nice climber dude who you are romantically attracted to. You guys go climbing and he flails on something you cruise easily. Does this change the way you think of him as a potential relationship candidate? Or does it only change the way you think of him as a climber? Does climbing ability in anyway translate into attractiveness? Personal experiences?
i'll be the first to admit that to a large extent climbing ability= increased attractiveness. i've been attracted to guys that didnt climb as well as me, but i've never gone out with one. so i dont know how it would affect me to see him climb. all the guys i've gone out with have climbed as well as me or better.
so, i dont know. lol. i would rather date a guy who could keep up, you know? a *partner* to swing leads with.
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lena_chita
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Nov 15, 2006, 3:09 PM
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I think the answer is: Depends TM.
I can't really know for sure b/c I am not on a dating scene, I am married and my husband climbs better than I do, though not so much better that I feel like I can't keep up (about one number grade in sport climbing).-- and that is a comfortable situation for us.
But-- since I met him, was attracted to him, and got married before the climbing came into our life, I think it would not have mattered to me how well he climbed b/c that wasn't the reason I got attracted to him in the first place, KWIM? I think of an equivalent thing-- I was way better than he was at dancing, and it didn't lower my opinion of him, even though I knew and danced with, and admired quite a few guys who were way better dancers than my husband...
But on the other hand, if I were to just start dating now, I think I would be more attracted to someone who climbs well.
And also, probably, if my husband wasn't climbing at least as well as I do, he probably wouldn't have been as enthusiastic about continuing climbing...
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bizarrodrinker
Nov 15, 2006, 4:22 PM
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SInce this is a two sided coin I feel comfortable saying that while strong climbers are inherently sexy, if they can't hold a decent conversation they are worthless.
That being said...people get stronger. Some faster than others, but that depends really on how much you enjoy a persons company.
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kimmyt
Nov 15, 2006, 4:40 PM
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I think it doesn't so much depend on the person's climbing ability so much as their climbing ambition.
If I were to date a climber who was much stronger than me, and that climber had the ambition to climb nothing but the hardest routes he could climb, then I foresee that as a problem. If I date a climber that climbs much harder than me and he is perfectly happy to climb easier stuff when we climb together (note that I am implying that not all my climbing will be done with the romantic climbing partner) then that would work much better.
Right now I'm in an okay situation. I don't climb so hard, my SO climbs oh maybe a grade or so harder than me, but he is not very interested in pushing himself to the limits of his ability. Yes, he wants to lead harder, but he also wants me to lead harder, and so we spend our time together climbing doing a mix of leads that are good for me and also good for him.
Also, he is a beginning trad leader, so while he may be stronger than me, he still values the fact that I have more experience placing gear, etc. We partner up fairly well together on a climb, but I want to make it clear that we do not climb together exclusively, as I feel that is where issues would come up.
If your partner doesn't climb as hard as you, as long as he/she is not your only option as a partner, I feel it shouldn't really effect your relationship together.
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kimmyt
Nov 15, 2006, 4:42 PM
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Also, my post was in the format of 'girl climbs not as hard as guy in relationship' and I understand that your question comes from the other end of the spectrum, but I feel it translates over.
Also also, I think it would be way cool if I climbed harder than my SO. Instant ego boost for me! (but maybe not so easy for him to take?) Anyway I think if I climbed harder than my SO right now, he would be perfectly happy for me to be his ropegun.... *sigh*.... if only!
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shorty
Nov 15, 2006, 7:11 PM
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In reply to: If you are dating a climber, does it even factor in how hard he climbs?
If you passionately participate in a sport long enough, you will come to appreciate partners with similar interests and capabilities. Finding a SO who also exactly fits these "requirements" can be a tall order. If you stumble upon the secret method that guarantees success, please let all of us know.
I've had the pleasure of climbing with many great people, with abilities ranging from 5.4 to 5.14b. I've also endured miserable days climbing with full-on jerks whose abilities almost perfectly matched mine. So who do I continue climbing with? Those people I enjoy being around. I think the fact that a SO is a climber should be a bonus to the relationship, as you will get to spend some time together doing things you both like to do. Think of it this way -- if the two of you can't deal with your differences in climbing abilities, how are you going to handle your differences in the rest of life? Will you never discuss politics, religion, money, careers, family, sex, health, personal goals, etc?
Jump to a personal example, not related to climbing. I ski at a very high level. Women who can match me turn for turn are not far from national-class athletes. If I demanded that a gal be a better skier than I am, I probably need to start stalking the US Ski Team. Ain't gonna happen.
Be happy if your SO shares your passion for climbing. Believe it or not, there's more to life than having someone being able to pull off the exact same high step move.
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macherry
Nov 15, 2006, 7:30 PM
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a wise response from a lurking dude!!!
hey shorty (highjack here), just picked myself up a pair of head monster 75's at an outrageous price 250 bucks. yeehah. let it snow. over 75 cm. at the hill!!!
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happiegrrrl
Nov 15, 2006, 10:29 PM
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As we...ummm...age....(sigh)....It would seem that circumstances can impair, lead to dispair and all sorts of other problems for "pairs"....
A person can get injured, or fall to illness, or become motivated by a chance in life's circumstances and then they kick ass wheras before they might have been dragging said butt....
It's hard enough to find someone who doesn't hold some odd belief that is the antithesis to one of my core values. Though hard climbers arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr hot.... if my heart starts pitter-pattering, I am pretty sure I would find his flailing to be an endearing quality. (Plus, I suppose it would mean he was a real beginner, since I have not really seen many guys who have been out more than a season who climb more badly than myself.)
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acacongua
Nov 16, 2006, 4:48 PM
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Climbing is important to me at this point in my life, so more experienced climbers and especially good belayers are attractive. However, it was more important that I find someone I can connect with more so outside of climbing ... and I'm lucky to have a good climber and someone I adore even if he decides to quit.
I have found that it was most helpful to find someone who approaches climbing the same way I do and someone who climbs near the same range so there is something for both of us at each cliff. However, since he's stronger and motivated, I find myself even more motivated and climbing stronger than ever.
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clee03m
Nov 16, 2006, 5:37 PM
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Definately, ambition is important. I climb more and harder than my husband, and that has caused some friction. While he is generally very supportive, he does get sad when I leave his ass at home every weekend and lot of the weeknights for the rock gym. I had to choose, I think someone of similar level would be preferable especially if you plan to climb with him. But when I climb alone with my husband, I have to lead everything (he refuses to lead most of the time), so he makes me a better climber. Gotta look at the brighter side of things ;)
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lhwang
Nov 16, 2006, 11:08 PM
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Climbing ability might get my attention in the beginning, but it's going to take a lot more than that to keep me interested in the long run.
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angry
Nov 17, 2006, 5:32 AM
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Here's my lurking guy answer.
I have in the past been looked over because I climbed too well. The girl has found it intimidating to date me because I am somewhat hard to keep up with on my good days. In my defense, I keep the engine at idle speeds most of the time, so it's not the problem the she-folk think it would be.
I encountered the same thing among cyclists, runners, etc that I've dated.
Numerically put. 5.0 to 5.10 climbing women don't want to date a 5.12 climber. 5.12 climbing women can and do date 5.13 (trad) and 5.14 climbing men. All women who climb 5.11 have a boyfriend.
It is my strong belief that the most attractive ability for a single guy is 11c sport, 10b trad, 12a gym, and V5. Above or below this number and he's "nice but just not boyfriend material"
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lil_ninja
Nov 17, 2006, 1:17 PM
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I'll be the third guy to post his opinion here. I've just started and right now I'm only climbing at gyms. It would be nice if I had an SO that was into climbing as well.
For me, her grade or skills won't really matter, what would matter is having good enjoyable company while I climb. I don't see myself as competing with anyone but myself when I climb. It will be more her attitude, but that's not just in climbing only. So my partner can be really good or a beginner like me, it won't matter.
That being said I can imagine it would make a huge difference should I climb outdoors and do lead climbing. But for indoors where my partner would pretty much just be belaying, her grades don't matter.
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layedback
Nov 17, 2006, 5:13 PM
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Climbing with any partner with atleast a grade of difference makes it more interesting, eaither I have to lead all the hard routes or I get on routes that are a grade over my head.
Typically there are other differnces - she likes to bushwack for 3 hours to climb some terrifying alpine trad route while he pefers a 3 hours of climbing at the local sport aria...
For me finding a romantic partner that is some where close to me in grade and enjoys a similar type of climbing is very attractive. I allso enjoy a variaty of climbing partners and differnt types of climbing. I am close to giving up on finding the A2+/5.10+ climbing SO that lives in Eugene.
Do I get kicked out of the ladies room if I say PM me if you meet the profile?
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comet
Nov 17, 2006, 9:35 PM
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In reply to: Here's my lurking guy answer. I have in the past been looked over because I climbed too well. The girl has found it intimidating to date me because I am somewhat hard to keep up with on my good days. In my defense, I keep the engine at idle speeds most of the time, so it's not the problem the she-folk think it would be. I encountered the same thing among cyclists, runners, etc that I've dated. Numerically put. 5.0 to 5.10 climbing women don't want to date a 5.12 climber. 5.12 climbing women can and do date 5.13 (trad) and 5.14 climbing men. All women who climb 5.11 have a boyfriend. It is my strong belief that the most attractive ability for a single guy is 11c sport, 10b trad, 12a gym, and V5. Above or below this number and he's "nice but just not boyfriend material"
It gets old fast to be left flailing because your significant other won't ever slow down for you, or does so only resentfully. My guess is that something about how you are when you're running at an idle indicates to your lady friend(s) that you're not very happy. Not an attack on you--I don't love slowing down for someone else either.
I'd prefer to date someone who climbed (skiied, surfed, whatever) significantly harder than I do, as long as he was willing and happy to play with me at my level sometimes. Talent is hot.
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stymingersfink
Nov 18, 2006, 3:58 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: _snip_ All women who climb 5.11 have a boyfriend. no i don't.
that won't last long now, unless you're less traditional in your life-style choices than was implied!
...do you have a girlfriend?   
[/OT]
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jaema
Nov 18, 2006, 4:17 AM
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jeez, just because she dosen't have a bf and is a kickass climber dosen't mean she's gay!
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clausti
Nov 18, 2006, 5:13 PM
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In reply to: . All women who climb 5.11 have a boyfriend.
... no.
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angry
Nov 19, 2006, 3:33 AM
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Ok then, so you don't have a boyfriend. Lighten up, it was a humorous reply. I've been on rc.com for years, look through my body of work, you'll see I'm always joking. Jeez.
Can you really argue about the rest of the statement minus the 5.11 climber portion though?
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stymingersfink
Nov 19, 2006, 5:34 AM
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just a little tongue in cheek humor.
her reply seemed so emphatic that it sent me off on a non-assumption kick. angry may have gotten my brand of humor there. Besides, women/girls who climb hard and are single are single by choice. There's no other way to explain it rationally really.
Perhaps it's because the pickin's are so poor from the local orchard, or maybe they're still trying to get over the last bruised fruit they bit into. Maybe they've decided fruit are out of season, better to wait till spring. Whatever their choice may be, I'm not the one to judge.
______
and clausti, i like your new sig, but not as well as I liked your last one. chalk up another lamentation for the death of the embedded img. along with the J_ung dancers, your's was one of my fav's
(This post was edited by stymingersfink on Nov 19, 2006, 5:47 AM)
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clausti
Nov 19, 2006, 6:12 AM
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In reply to: Ok then, so you don't have a boyfriend. Lighten up, it was a humorous reply. I've been on rc.com for years, look through my body of work, you'll see I'm always joking. Jeez. Can you really argue about the rest of the statement minus the 5.11 climber portion though?
aw, angry, 's ok. just sayin', dispair not. some climber chicks are single.
your sarcasm and my ellipsis. for such things we will mourn.
sty... i really really want my eyes sig back. the avatar is, sadly, not nearly wide enough for the appropriate effect.
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clausti
Nov 19, 2006, 7:41 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: It is my strong belief that the most attractive ability for a single guy is 11c sport, 10b trad, 12a gym, and V5. Above or below this number and he's "nice but just not boyfriend material" damn, this thread is bringing out all the male lurkers in the ladies' room, I guess. Angry, i could not agree more with the above statement. And why do so many women hate crack climbing?
cute, single, and want to take me crack climbing? i'll be road tripping as of january. 
PS my attractive grades are above angry's angry list
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