Still, it's hard to remember any times in my life when I truly felt content.

Good thread Stu...

About 14 1/2 years ago I was homeless and lived in a park to due IV drug addiction. Been clean and sober since Oct 23rd, 1988, and it's been a spiritual journey since then.

I remember being a kid in Elementary school, and feeling like I didn't fit in then... All the other kids seemed to interact so well, but for me it was a chore. Drugs eased those feelings quite a bit, but at the expence of me becoming a social retard. Foster homes and juvinile hall only added to my sense of not "belonging", and taught me that aggression was a tool to get what I want.


To make a very long story short, I define "spirituality" as knowing one's place in the world, or their purpose... Being comfortable in one's own skin. I found mine at around 5 years clean... To help addicts get clean if they want to, and to continually grow "on the inside". If I can not hurt anyone, learn something, and if possible help someone, then I had a good day. I'm generous to those who need help, and unfortunately, "no good deed goes unpunished", so I have been punished quite a bit, as there are many "takers" in the world. But that generosity has come back to me 2 fold... When I am generous, I am rewarded, when I am stingy, I am always wanting more.


I remember, not so long ago, that I would always rate myself against others... Better than, or worse than. I would trade places with many people at that time, since I was judging my insides by the outsides of others. This was ego, and only served to add to a sense of not belonging. Empathy and humility has taught me that I am no better or worse than anyone, but maybe just different, as we are all different.

Now, if I could trade places with anyone, I would not, where as before I would do it in a heartbeat.

I used to think that if I only had "that car, that chick, that job, etc...", but I realized that it is the small things in life that matter, not the big things. It's not realizing major life goals that count, as the satisfaction ebbs once it is attained, but the ability to apreciate the small things gives one satisfaction every day. I know... Like I said, I was homeless, and unemployable 14 1/2 years ago, and in that time I've gotten a home worth over $275K, and will buy an addidtional house every two years for the next 8 years till I can retire on rental income. I hace a job that pays really good $$$, and allows me to travel and climb all over the country, but I turn down bigger paying jobs because I like the time off, and don't want the change in lifestyle. I don't want to be rich, but well off, and have all my current and future needs met. There is nothing that I want right now, and have not wanted anything in the last 8 years, as all my wants are met. Because I stopped wanting THINGS.


Point is, I could lose all this, and still be happy, as the physical things are not important to me now, friends and family are. I enjoy getting home fromm a job, and having all my friends go out of their wayto come see me, and to know that I was missed. I enjoy being able to take a walk in my neighborhood, and have my neighbors ask how long I am home for, or what I have climbed. I enjoy walking by the park near my house and watching the little kids playing T-Ball, they hit the ball, and run to 2ndbase over the pitchers mound... They don't know what they are doing, but are having fun, and I get to see and enjoy the experience.



Eye Opener... Most people do not even know the first name of their great grand parents (who reading this does?), meaning that chances are when I am gone, my own offspring wont know my name in 3 more generations.


I had a friend who got her Doctorin in Pyscholgy, and she did an internship at an old people's home where they were terminally ill... She told me how the rich died alone, as they spent their lives trying to attain wealth, and passed those values on to their kids, so when they were dying, the kids were fighting over who was going to inherit the wealth. But those who placed family and friends over wealth died in the company of many friends and family.


We have just one shot here on this Earth, and if we do not make the most of it, and enjoy as much as possible, we are cutting ourselves short. Think about it... We are born, sentenced to school till we are 18 then slave for $$$ till we are 65, then what ??? That means that 1/3rd of our life we are sleeping, 1/3rd working, and 1/3rd for enjoyment... Better to work at something you enjoy, so that in your waking life you are enjoying it.




If anyone is not happy and content, they are not doing it right. If anyone would rather trade places with another, then they are not doing it right. We are all responsible to find our "purpose", because without one, we are just walking around lost and aimless.

Kahlil Gibran wrote:
"A pearl is a temple built by pain around a grain of sand. What longing built our bodies, and around what grains ???"

The trick is to live life on "life's terms", not mine.

Pain is not something to avoid, but to embrace and grow from. It's all an opportutnity for growth. Getting to the other side of major pain, gives one the ability empathize with others, rather than just feel compassion.

(BRING ON THE JESUS FREAK COMMENTS!!!!)

Stu,
I took the time to go back and read all the answers posted and have one other thought to add.
I think that happiness is not having things always go your way, getting all the money or things you may want, never knowing of death or disease. Happiness is more taking in all that life has to offer, be it good or bad. Rellishing in the good and learning to deal with the bad.
Like most other here I have had my share of tragedy in my life, death of family and friends, personal difficulties, financial problems but I never let them beat me down. I may be down from time to time but have found friends that support me during these times and I survive. Each of those times has made me stronger so that I know I will survive the next one, and there will be a next one! All of this has made me more fully enjoy the good times, the times with family and friends, the times when there is actually money left over after the bills and those losses we all go through.
Yes, I am happy because I wake up every day excited to see what will come my way, be it good or bad. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Go out this evening and sit and watch the sunset. I stopped along the highway a few nights back and did just that. It makes you glad that you can see it and take in all its beauty.


Climb On

here's one very happy contented girl. how can i be anything but happy? I have a God that loves me. that's all i need to be happy. yeah i've had a lot of rough things happen but what is that compared to what Christ suffered on the cross? and there is no burden that is too big for Him to bear for me. So when things get tough...I go to Him with my problems and though i may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I know that He knows exactly what's going to happen and I know that He is going to work everything out for good. He hasn't failed me and I know He never will.
interesting question stu

gwen

am i happy? yes.

i have a partner/best friend that i never thought i'd meet.

i am quite healthy.

i have no debts.

my job pays me well enough to cover my expenses, which are low. i am not materialistic, i do not need any more money.

i am madly in love with my partner.


my life... oh my. as it has been said about me before, i am an old soul. it's just how i feel. i could tell my life story, but does it really matter? i have no regrets, because for every single unfortunate thing that has happened in my life, i have learned something important. i like who i am today, and i am optimistic about who i will become. if i took back even one of those "bad" things that happened to me in my life, would i be the same person? no.

sometimes at work when people think i take myself too seriously i feel like i have to prove some sort of "hard core" aspect of myself to them. but why? i have a few small details of my life that i could say that would change people's view of me, but what do i have to prove?

life is all i have. is there anything after? well that's a silly question because you have to die to find out. all i know is that even if it takes many lifetimes, my soul will find its partner again.