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Re: [Sebs] Climbing and being a mom:
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lhwang
Feb 8, 2009, 7:43 PM
Views: 4877
Registered: Aug 4, 2005
Posts: 582
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Sebs wrote: 7. So I maintain my conclusion, which is unpalateable for most women: Climbing and motherhood are pretty incompatible. This is not the same as saying that you can't combine the two. But not easily. Not all the time. It takes a lot of work, luck, and some other factors I mention in the article.
Actually, saying that climbing and motherhood are incompatible is the same as saying that you can't combine the two just by definition of the word "incompatible".
That was my main issue with your article... not that I disagree that it's going to be hard to be a mom, have a career and still climb. In fact I'd agree that it's going to be harder than I can even imagine at this point. What bothered me about your article was the implication that if you're a mom and you climb, it's at the expense of your children. Basically, you couldn't swing it, most climbing moms can't swing it, so obviously if someone is able to climb as much as they want while being a mom (parent), it's because she's a shitty mom. And that, in my opinion, is judgmental guilt trip bullshit that I'd hope most women would refrain from dishing out. Maybe I'm misinterpreting the conclusions of your article. If so, please set me straight.
It's interesting, because I did a week long ski course this week and one of the guys and his wife will be skiing into Assiniboine next month with their 6-month old daughter on a sled. They've been biking, skiing, hiking and camping in the backcountry since she was 11 days old. Anyway, he said something interesting to me: "Most people who hear what we're doing aren't supportive. They think we're crazy. So you have to know in your heart that what you're doing is right, otherwise it can get pretty tough." That crystalized a lot of things for me. I do realize people are going to judge me and play the mom guilt card on me, but the bottom line is that all that matters is what I and my kids think.
Also, why is it so hilarious for a woman to expect her husband to share equally in the housework and childcare? I guess so far I'm lucky then, although I think it was more a matter of choosing a life partner who had similar values than luck. But your attitude seems very much "That's the status quo, just suck it up and deal with it." If every woman had that attitude, I guess we'd still be back where we were in the 1900s.
Anyway, I guess I'll have to update this thread in 3-5 years hopefully when I have kids and can let you know how I've worked things out.
(This post was edited by lhwang on Feb 8, 2009, 7:47 PM)
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Post edited by lhwang
() on Feb 8, 2009, 7:47 PM
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