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FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD!
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kansasclimber


Jan 19, 2007, 6:19 AM
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FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD!
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THIS IS A SERIOUS POST, no trolling....

I have a couple friends, that suffer from lack of motivation, frustrations, and humilation, because they are not as good as the people they climb with. I know it is always been said to climb for yourself, and no one else, but it has GOT to be hard when you just get stomped everytime you go out to climb or boulder. One of my freinds is 30 some years old, and has been climbing for 15 years. Is there anything i can do?? Because once i get off of a hard send on some problem or route, the first thing i think of is "crap, that wasnt good for their ego"...... HELP!!! They love climbing, but its hard on their soul..

Stephen


fancyclaps


Jan 19, 2007, 6:53 AM
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Re: [kansasclimber] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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See the thing is, you never get "stomped" whenever you go out and climb with other people. That implies that they are some how beating you. Unless you are in a formal climbing competition, the only person who can "stomp" you whenever you climb is yourself.

I have some friends who are the same way, and you know what? I cant do anything about it. I can encourage them, I can give them tough love, I can shout my lungs out, but until they make the decision to climb for themselves no one can do anything for them. Emotions are not external forces acting upon us, they are internal and we have control over them. If your friends feel like sh*t whenever they climb, they are choosing to feel that way. I know it sounds hackneyed, but they really need to change their attitude.

Your climbing partners should never be jealous or mad at you for getting a hard send, they should be cheering you on and be just as excited whenever you get that send. If the people you climb with are that petty, or they make you feel that sh*tty, maybe you should look into finding new partners.

I know that might not help, but sometimes you cant really fix a situation, you just have to leave. So I went and found more positive people to climb with.


acollins


Jan 19, 2007, 7:02 AM
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Re: [kansasclimber] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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I could see how it would suck to not be as good. My climbing partner and I climb about the same but sometimes she climbs much better than I do. It does not hurt my ego that much. I like to be the best at everything I do but when i'm climbing I don't really think about the fact that i'm not doing as good as someone else.

If I were you I would take my friend out to something a little harder than what he/she climbs and coach them on it. Help them out and make them work on becoming better. I love to try a new route even if its beyond my climbing skills. I've spent hours trying to climb spots and never make it more than 15ft off the ground. Just make sure your friend is having fun. Thats the most important thing.
I think anyway! but don't take my word for it.


kriso9tails


Jan 19, 2007, 7:28 AM
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Re: [acollins] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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bah... insomnia

When I stopped climbing for the better part of five years, everyone i climbed with from before had obviously gotten strong than they were when i left. Of course I was glad that they were climbing strong, but it was a bit of a kick to my ego.

I'm not a very egocentric person, but still, I felt this drive to get really strong, not so much because i wanted to climb hard but rather because I didn't want to be weak. It didn't go so well since drive without a vehicle doesn't get you that far. I stopped being so much of a spaz about trying to climb harder and put in the effort actually needed.

I'm pretty much at the same level as one of the people I boulder with most frequently at the gym, but he's definitely a bit stronger overall. It can be a bit daunting when the people I climb with almost always finish projects before me, but on the bright side, it's better training for me, and I've been getting way stronger by sucking it up and pushing harder than I would by getting hung up on it.


(This post was edited by kriso9tails on Jan 19, 2007, 7:30 AM)


drfelatio


Jan 19, 2007, 7:59 AM
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Re: [kansasclimber] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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Maybe you have the kind of friends that only feel good about themselves when they're surrounded by weaker people. Maybe your friends were the class bullies and now that someone shows them up, they can't take it. Or maybe your friends just have fragile egos and low self-esteem. Either way, you've done nothing wrong, so I say f**k 'em. Why should you feel guilty simply because you can do something better than they can? I'm sure there are some things that they are more adept at than you. Do they feel guilty when you can't do that something?

Sounds to me like the best thing to do for everyone involved is to get them to climb with someone else closer to their skill range. One, they'll be more satisfied with their own performance and two, they won't be holding you back anymore. Because that's exactly what they're doing. By making you feel guilty, they're hindering your progress and that's bulls**t.

So long as you're not a braggart, you should be proud of your abilities, not ashamed or guilty. And if your friends were truly good friends, they'd be excited and proud of your accomplishments as well.

(Sorry if I was a bit harsh Blush...)

[edit] LOL. I just read fancyclaps' post. Is there an echo in here?? [/edit]


(This post was edited by drfelatio on Jan 19, 2007, 8:01 AM)


anykineclimb


Jan 19, 2007, 8:29 AM
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Re: [drfelatio] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt

Its that simple kids


abock33


Jan 19, 2007, 8:45 AM
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Re: [kansasclimber] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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I've been in both possitions. One of my partners climbs a full two grades Higher than me. On the other hand, my other is about 3 grades lower than me. For her it's a mental block. I used to get frustrated with myself 'cause I couldn't climb like the one. I finally got it through my thick skull that I'm climbing against myself not him.

As Funny as it sounds.. Spend a trip to the crag climbing at Their Level. I do that with my g/f (the female partner) and when she gets tired I work on my climbs. It's like a long warm up for you and also it helped me with endurance.

Hope that was helpfull.


overlord


Jan 19, 2007, 12:08 PM
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Re: [anykineclimb] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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anykineclimb wrote:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt

Its that simple kids

ditto that. i always view better climbers as a source of insipiration. you can always learn something new and not thinking youre really good definitely helps in the process.


Partner sevrdhed


Jan 19, 2007, 1:42 PM
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Re: [overlord] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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overlord wrote:
anykineclimb wrote:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt

Its that simple kids

ditto that. i always view better climbers as a source of insipiration. you can always learn something new and not thinking youre really good definitely helps in the process.

I agree. Even when climbing with people that can hike any project I have, I find it's nice to have them give me beta and hopefully make me a better climber.

As for your problem, it seems to me that if someone's getting upset, they're likely just very competitive. Some people are extremely competitive, and like to be winning whenever they're doing any activity, whether it's biking, or cooking, or playing video games, or whatever it may be.

These kind of people are the kind of people that get really frustrated when they're climbing with people stronger than them, because even though it's not a competition, they're still not "winning". It's just hard wired into them. There's nothing wrong with that... it just sucks for them as climbers, because they're going to enjoy it less if they don't have the ability to realize that it's simply not a big deal.

The only thing you can do is decide for yourself how you're going to let it affect you. If you can shrug it off, then do so. If it's really affecting your own enjoyment of climbing, then consider only climbing with them when you're doing easier stuff. Or, if they're always negative, maybe you just need to stop climbing together.

Good luck!


shanz


Jan 19, 2007, 2:02 PM
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Re: [sevrdhed] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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I agree with the above post - guys who got me into this sport quit climbing because i was nailing routes they had been working for years and not finished. The reality was that they were too busy competing to see clearly enough to just enjoy climbing, and focus on the climb itself rather than who was watching. I prefer to climb with people who climb harder than i - it encourages me to focus more and climb harder


(This post was edited by shanz on Jan 19, 2007, 2:03 PM)


br


Jan 19, 2007, 2:10 PM
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Re: [kansasclimber] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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I was in the exact situation a couple of years ago. My friend eventually stopped climbing. Let's just face the facts two climbers of completely different abilities cannot exist as roped climbing partners.

Climbing time is just to precious for me. Having a wife and two kids does not allow me to baby sit or stroke someones ego. Get with the program or look somewhere else for a climbing partner. Harsh but true.


jimo


Jan 19, 2007, 2:45 PM
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Re: [overlord] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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On the same line, I have been climbing since 1990 and up until the past couple of years have been able to actually focus on climbing hard. There are people who climb then there are climbers. It is totally the individual's choice to feel anything other than psyched about climbing, you can encourage your partners, give them training tips etc but until they make up their mind to be a climber, mediocrity will remain. BTW, make sure you leave your ego at the parking lot.


112


Jan 19, 2007, 3:01 PM
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My friends and I went to the gym the other day, and I won. Unsure

kansasclimber wrote:
THIS IS A SERIOUS POST, no trolling....

Like you have any other? Funny though. Smile


lena_chita
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Jan 19, 2007, 3:17 PM
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Re: [kansasclimber] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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kansasclimber wrote:
One of my freinds is 30 some years old, and has been climbing for 15 years. Is there anything i can do?? Because once i get off of a hard send on some problem or route, the first thing i think of is "crap, that wasnt good for their ego"...... HELP!!! They love climbing, but its hard on their soul..

Umm, so this 30-some year old friend is crying and you are so concerned about him... What a nice guy you are, the first thing you think of when you come down from a hard send is how bad it made your friend feel... Wow! Or are you maybe projecting your own feelings of being frustrated watching a good climber onto someone else?

I'm trying really hard to take it as a serious post...

You can maybe try not boasting about your hard sends in the presense of these friends... Offer constructive advice if they are stuck on some problem... Other than that, I don't see how you can do anything.


dingus


Jan 19, 2007, 3:30 PM
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You need some sickopants there kansasclimber

Cheers!
DMT


vertical_planar


Jan 19, 2007, 3:55 PM
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I faced a similar situation in the past. The truth is that you can do absolutely nothing about it.
Unimpressed


wzrdgandalf


Jan 19, 2007, 3:58 PM
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One thing you can do is just be careful how you talk. I know that a lot of times when I am climbing with people that are at a lower level I tend to talk about things in a way that would make them feel inadequate. Ill say to someone else "yeah go through that gaston to the really big jugs and then its cake from there" If that is there project and they cant get that move then it will make them feel like shit if you call it easy or juggy or anything else like that. When i started climbing it was with two guys who were extremely stong compared to me, they were warming up on my projects with tennis shoes and campusing all the moves.... that didnt help my self esteem at all. I swore off climbing with people at a much higher level, but then i climbed with a group of people that were extremely motivating because they treated my projects as if they were hard as well. I know that they arent hard moves for them but it helps with motivation. Now that I am one of the stronger climbers at our gym (well maybe just one of the mediocre ones that talks a lot with the noobs) i tend to give their lines respect with how i talk about them. example:
ME: "hey man what are you working on?"
Unmotivated Noob: "Im trying this route and its kicking my ass even though its easy"
ME: "nah man its tricky on some of the moves if you have never done that type of movement"
UN: "I just cant get the move, Im so weak"
ME: "dont worry about it, you want me to try it and give you some beta?"

alright maybe you dont have to do it that way, but some kind encouraging words that give respect to their struggles with something can make a huge difference in someones thought process. I think its sometimes easy for harder climbers to forget that a 5.8 for some people can be as hard for them as a 5.13 is for you. Of course dont coddle people and pad their ego or tell them that they are just doing sandbagged routes. You can motivate people through respect for their abilities though.


dynosore


Jan 19, 2007, 4:15 PM
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Re: [wzrdgandalf] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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I for one like climbing with people who are better than me. I'll learn far more about movement, etc. from them than I would a fellow 5.10 flailer like myself...if I want to "beat" everyone I'll play chess. We all have different gifts, I'm not a naturally gifted climber but I still have a great time.


wonderwoman


Jan 19, 2007, 5:53 PM
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It sounds to me as if the problem might be that they are comparing themselves to other people. Are they climbing for themselves or are they climbing to meet someone else's expectations? If the person is climbing with someone who is cranking 5.13, then it is unrealistic and sadistic for the climber to put himself on the same climb and have the same expectations. Know what I mean?

I've been in this state of mind before, and it's not a good place to be. But as soon as I started not comparing myself to my partners, I also started to enjoy myself a whole lot more. I set my own goals, have my own projects, and find my own zone.

This subject kind of falls into one of the 'mental' aspects of climbing. It seems to be about attitude and self-perception. I would recommend checking out Arno Ilgner's book The Rock Warrior's Way. There is also a 'mental training' forum on this website that has been really useful for me.


kansasclimber


Jan 19, 2007, 6:14 PM
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Re: [wonderwoman] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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thanks for all the beta!

As far as my 2 friends i am talking about, they truly are good climbers... They climb low to mid 11's. Now i am at about the high 12/low 13 level right now, so its hard for them, becasue if they were climbing with all of the pop. of climbers they would be better than half of them im sure.

Also they do not get mad at me, whatsoever... they are very very nice about. They tell me good job after a hard send and stuff, but i can just tell that for them.. it just really sucks...

Stephen


lemon_boy


Jan 19, 2007, 6:50 PM
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that is pretty nice that you are taking a group of quadrapalegics climbing. i bet they are pretty impressed when you are desperately clawing up the classic kansas benchmark Vb-.


chadnsc


Jan 19, 2007, 7:05 PM
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kansasclimber wrote:
thanks for all the beta!


Also they do not get mad at me, whatsoever... they are very very nice about. They tell me good job after a hard send and stuff, but i can't just tell that for them.. it just really sucks...

Stephen

I assume that's what you ment to type.

Uh, why can't you complement your friends after they've done a climb that's hard for them?

Sniff, sniff, is that the smell of elitism? No wait, that’s the distinct odor of narcissism.


dynosore


Jan 19, 2007, 7:33 PM
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In reply to:
As far as my 2 friends i am talking about, they truly are good climbers... They climb low to mid 11's. Now i am at about the high 12/low 13 level right now, so its hard for them, becasue if they were climbing with all of the pop. of climbers they would be better than half of them im sure.

Ah now I see the point of this thread, you were looking to spray. We're so impressed. Feel better?


sizzlechest


Jan 19, 2007, 7:39 PM
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Something i always find on this website is if a person says the did their first 5.7-5.10 everyone is like "congratulations, offering encouragement etc." Anytime someone climbs harder and even mentions a grade they are known as a spraylord, i think this is BS. Sorry to hijack the thread but jeez people, lighten up!!


shanz


Jan 19, 2007, 8:12 PM
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feeding the fish again Kansasclimber???


wonderwoman


Jan 19, 2007, 9:23 PM
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chadnsc wrote:
kansasclimber wrote:
They tell me good job after a hard send and stuff, but i can't just tell that for them.. it just really sucks...

Stephen

I assume that's what you ment to type..

Or does he mean 'but I can just tell that from them'? Meaning he can tell they are bummed even though they say good job to him.

I'm kind of confused now. It seems that either his friends are comparing themselves to him and feeling inferior. Or he is comparing himself to them, and believes that they must feel bad because they don't climb 5.13, making him feeling superior to his friends.

Either way, people should just climb for themselves and do what they find challenging and enjoyable.


(This post was edited by wonderwoman on Jan 19, 2007, 11:01 PM)


climbsomething


Jan 19, 2007, 9:33 PM
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sizzlechest wrote:
Something i always find on this website is if a person says the did their first 5.7-5.10 everyone is like "congratulations, offering encouragement etc." Anytime someone climbs harder and even mentions a grade they are known as a spraylord, i think this is BS. Sorry to hijack the thread but jeez people, lighten up!!
You should put some Neosporin on that hook wound inside yer cheek Wink


gochubug


Jan 19, 2007, 9:35 PM
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Re: [wonderwoman] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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I love to climb with hot climbers that are light years ahead of me...as long as they will rope gun for me. Wink


charley


Jan 19, 2007, 10:04 PM
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Re: [br] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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Wtf are you talking about. I can take the average high school kid who has never climbed out and teach him to climb on tr. At the end of one or two days he can climb harder routes than I can. It doesn't bother me a bit. I'm happy I showed a kid how to climb. I feel good and so does he.


shorty


Jan 19, 2007, 11:24 PM
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dynosore wrote:
kansasclimber wrote:
As far as my 2 friends i am talking about, they truly are good climbers... They climb low to mid 11's. Now i am at about the high 12/low 13 level right now, so its hard for them, becasue if they were climbing with all of the pop. of climbers they would be better than half of them im sure.

Ah now I see the point of this thread, you were looking to spray. We're so impressed. Feel better?
Remember, this is kansasclimber:
- THE GREATEST CLIMBER IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!11111
- The climber that all Colorado dudes & dudettes fear will steal their projects.
- The climber that has totally kicked ass in the climbing epicenter of Colorado, er, I mean the world -- Buena Vista, Colorado.

Lowlife POS wannabe climbers dinking around on lowly 11's should feel privileged to share such hallowed ground.


caughtinside


Jan 19, 2007, 11:38 PM
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I can relate, Kansasclimber. Except in my case, it's not because my partners are not as GOOD climbers, it is becase it is they are not as GOOD LOOKING.

I hate to say it, but I am just mr. handsome out there, and people have a tough time dealing with it. At first it's cool, they're all psyched to be hanging with such a beautiful specimen as myself, but after awhile they start viewing themselves as dingy and dull, compared to my radiance.

And it's not like I'm trying to be really really good looking either, it just happened, I can't help it.

I know the problem lies with my friends, but I'd like to help them get over it so we can keep climbing together.


jimo


Jan 19, 2007, 11:49 PM
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Re: [kansasclimber] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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Where the hell are you sending 13's? Its Kansas! Gyms don't count, the routes flagged for you. Me thinks you wanted everyone to know how GOOD you are- please


(This post was edited by jimo on Jan 19, 2007, 11:52 PM)


billcoe_


Jan 20, 2007, 12:02 AM
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kansasclimber wrote:
Is there anything i can do??

Be upbeat and offer encouragement.


kansasclimber wrote:
Because once i get off of a hard send on some problem or route, the first thing i think of is "crap, that wasnt good for their ego"...... HELP!!! They love climbing, but its hard on their soul..

Stephen

It sounds like one of 2 things is false. Either they do not love climbing, cause even if they were pissed on their failure, they would still be psyched to send (or flail) OR, the feelings you have are yours and they do not really feel this way.

Hey, I've been at it for 36 years and see little kids kicking my ass.

So what?


sizzlechest


Jan 20, 2007, 12:13 AM
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Re: [jimo] FRUSTRATION: Becasue you are not as GOOD! [In reply to]
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jimo wrote:
Where the hell are you sending 13's? Its Kansas! Gyms don't count, the routes flagged for you. Me thinks you wanted everyone to know how GOOD you are- please

I was wondering the same thing, although i guess the round "hay bails" in the field have an overhanging side! V2, V4 if you are allergic to cut grass....


sizzlechest


Jan 20, 2007, 12:17 AM
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climbsomething wrote:
sizzlechest wrote:
Something i always find on this website is if a person says the did their first 5.7-5.10 everyone is like "congratulations, offering encouragement etc." Anytime someone climbs harder and even mentions a grade they are known as a spraylord, i think this is BS. Sorry to hijack the thread but jeez people, lighten up!!
You should put some Neosporin on that hook wound inside yer cheek Wink

True, he apparently got me, although in his profile it says he is a fisherman......


climbsomething


Jan 20, 2007, 12:22 AM
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He's a crafty one, that KC Wink Fisherman... nice!


on_belay_hombre


Jan 20, 2007, 12:39 AM
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I have a similar problem as your friends and it really (at least for me) has nothing to do what others think of me. I always strive to do my best in anything and in some cases i just cant deliver due to skill or fitness or whatever reason. I love climbing like crazy but in these situations when im between routes sometimes I cant help but feel left behind when my friends move on to the next climb. Its the motivation to stick to the climb and do as much as you can, and be ok with leaving it for next time if you dont finish. Nothings wrong with working on a route that you cant finish the same day (gym or outside) because chances are, after youve had some time to work on it, then take some time away, you'll find you've made a lot of progress when you get back to it. This always surprises me.

Everyone gets frustrated when things just dont seem to work when it feels as though it should. Maybe your friends arent jealous, they just know they are capable of but its not happening right away. Ive always climbed with people better than me and its a great learning experience. Most of the time they were all taller than me by like 6" so I had to do most climbs completely different and it was often frustrating. I had to take it one move at a time and instead of thinking "why cant I do this?" I thought about it as a puzzle and worked it till I got it then moved on, or called it quits for further work later. It helped a lot.

Dont ditch your friends. Maybe help them identify with a style they are good at and they can feel better about. With my friends, im really good a roof problems, another friend is wicked at cracks and another at thin balancy stuff. We each have something to identify with, even if its just a reason to feel better when a problem isnt working out. We all work on everything, but its nice to have a comfort zone of a kind of problem you have confidence in and can maybe give other people tips on.


kixx


Jan 20, 2007, 1:44 AM
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Be careful here...

Good climbers have a bit of an ego... It's what gets you past the mental tough spots. I think a lot of these posts are reflecting that ego, including the original post. To really be great you need to do a better job keeping this under wraps and behave with a more humble attitude. Please don't drive newer folks away from the sport with this attitude on or off the rock... It damages us all.


Partner angry


Jan 20, 2007, 2:42 AM
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I only see one possible scenario, that you guys are training for grades and climbing for numbers. I climb to keep me sane and for the passion of it; still, at the end of the climb, I know how hard the route was. Who doesn't. I'm not going to judge you. It reminds me of my swimming days.

I spent 11 years in a swimming pool, day after day after day. Stroke, flip turn, stroke, flip turn, stroke, flip turn, all probably a million times. At the swim meets, I was lucky to place at all. I wasn't fast. New kids would join the team and within a season, they were faster. Idiots with sloppy strokes somehow beating me. And you know what, it's because they had more natural talent as a swimmer than me.

On one hand I was on the team to win, to get the fastest times and to stand on the podium. It never ever happened. Yet, I didn't quit the team. I loved the guys on my team, the friendship, and the mischief. It bothered me that I wasn't speeding up, but it never bothered my that my friends were. I kept on swimming (and losing) because the joy of the hard work and the friends were worth more than a medal.

I've played a lot of sports in my life; triathlon, cycling, running, climbing, baseball, all at a competetive level. I've never been nearly as bad at these as I was at swimming. Still, my years as a swimmer, especially in high school, I remember as the finest years of competition in my life.

Don't be so sure your friends resent your progress.


ihateslopers


Jan 21, 2007, 9:33 AM
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coming from the guy that is the one who is usually "stomped" (that being me) it doesnt bother me at all if im climbing with someone alot better than me, as long as they arent asses about it, i take the opportunity to observe learn, see if i can find a way to improve my technique, and help on problems from someone better than you is an invaluable benefit.

the only thing that ever bothers me about those situations is that i dont want to hold my friends back if they want to do a more difficult route that i am not yet capable of doing.


kansasclimber


Jan 22, 2007, 3:55 AM
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sorry i shouldnt have posted grades, and some of you people are right, they do go after it like fish, with hooks in there mouth... I throw one grade out there, and there is a swarm of "fish" all over it!!! I thought it would help the post a litle bit. Forget the numbers, this is a serious post. I just want to help them. I will never leave my firends regardelss, my overall goal would be to help them get better, and for them to help me get better. That, with having fun, to me is what climbing is all about.


fracture


Jan 22, 2007, 11:11 AM
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kansasclimber wrote:
They love climbing, but its hard on their soul..

And ironically, weak climbers seem to be significantly more likely to spew bullshit about how climbing "feeds their soul", or whatever.

Perhaps the best climber is the one with the most karma.


(This post was edited by fracture on Jan 22, 2007, 11:46 AM)


fracture


Jan 22, 2007, 11:45 AM
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anykineclimb wrote:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Eleanor Roosevelt

On the one hand, Eleanor can be forgiven for that remark, because she made it before neuroendocrinology (and long before any of the modern brain imaging techniques were available). On the other hand, I suspect she knew that everyone would know (from their own personal experience) that she really knew that it was a total crock of shit. (Even ignoring the brute force method of nonconsensual injection of neurotransmitters or hormones (or whatever) into the bloodstream, I mean.)

Anyway: emotions evolved to serve functional purposes. There is too much machinery there for them to not serve purposes. But interestingly, that purpose can often involve the deliberate cessation of higher-level reflective decision-making and control---deliberate removal of the ability to "consent". Ironically the exact opposite of what that painfully omnipresent quote is trying to suggest, and furthermore: it's not a bug, it's a feature.

The concept is called a paradoxical strategy. Often, the best way to win at a game is to adopt a strategy that reduces your control, while making sure the opponent(s) in the game are aware of it. A common example is the Doomsday Machine strategy from the (excellent) movie Dr. Strangelove (if the US nukes Russia, the machine automatically destroys the whole world, and there's no way to override it). But as Strangelove exclaims at one point in the move, "Of course, the whole point of a Doomsday Machine is lost if you keep it a secret!" The reason the Doomsday Machine is a good strategy, is because your opponent knows you can't stop it, even though you will possibly do harm to yourself in order to do harm to them. This concept is useful for understanding certain emotional behavior (such as violent rage, regret or guilt).

Er. What is this thread about again?


fracture


Jan 22, 2007, 11:51 AM
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kansasclimber wrote:
As far as my 2 friends i am talking about, they truly are good climbers... They climb low to mid 11's.

Subtle. (If it were anyone else, I'd fully bite it. :P)


Partner mr8615


Jan 22, 2007, 12:13 PM
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fracture wrote:
kansasclimber wrote:
They love climbing, but its hard on their soul..

And ironically, weak climbers seem to be significantly more likely to spew bullshit about how climbing "feeds their soul", or whatever.

Perhaps the best climber is the one with the most karma.

Hey man, I'm a soul climber...

kansasclimber wrote:
As far as my 2 friends i am talking about, they truly are good climbers... They climb low to mid 11's.

and since I climb low to mid 11's, that makes me a truly good climber too! Enough of your spew about soul climbers being weak...Crazy


kansasclimber


Jan 22, 2007, 2:26 PM
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this thread is suppose to be about getting partners back on the same page, and climbing again, not about spewing... Im sorry if you guys think I am but i am not... One person said a while back in this post, that "its funny, when anyone mentions grades 5.10 and lower, they are more than happy to say congrats, or help them out with whatever they need." So it seems once 5.11 is out of the bag, all hell breaks loose. Anyways, stop trying to make this post what it is not, a spew-a-thon.

Stephen


girl_lostInVA


Jan 23, 2007, 6:58 PM
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But I just started climbing about 2 months ago, I am still way down in the grades most of the time (not that grades matter "that" much). I'm still getting on 5.6 - 5.7 mostly that I can complete regularly. I have only been to complete a few 5.8 and 5.9...

The people who I have worked with the few times climbing haven't even really been friends because I'm still meeting people and all of them climb significantly better in the 5.10 - 5.12 range, have been guys who are stronger and they're taller and have more reach.

Sure it's frustrating to me to work with people that far out of my range...but I'm frustrated with myself not them. They've worked hard to get that good, I'm still working and learning.

What makes the difference for me is when the people sometimes do give me tips, advise, they still view my little accomplishments as me doing a good job and usually tell me. The better climbers who are encouraging, put up with my beginner butt or even give me the time to work out a problem while they belay me or give me advise when I ask for it...without making me feel like my accomplishments don't mean anything...those are the people I try to hang around.

Maybe they are just frustrated with themselves, I think we all get that way...and have to work it out. The better climbers who have the patience, give advise when I want it or look like I need it and are encouraging or at least don't laugh at me...


shanz


Jan 23, 2007, 7:15 PM
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This catch and release???


Adk


Jan 23, 2007, 11:56 PM
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I've followed this entire thread and I don't have much to say but, I have never felt frustrated with my abilities nor the abilities of anyone else as they may affect me.
I love to watch better climbers. I am by no means, due to my lifestyle and geographic area, a 5.10 climber. Close though! LMBO..."It's like a set of stair..I can send it!"
If climbing is about competition in any way for you then maybe you should find other climbers to climb with, who enjoy the extra aggervation.
Most guys I know could care less unless your abilities prohibit moving upward. When this does happen it's best to part ways or just get used to climbing at a lower difficulty level. JM2C
Forgive me if I followed down the wrong path. Think spring!!!


miademus


Jan 24, 2007, 10:07 AM
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uhhh i just felt 2 month ago the same...and i know dozens who feel the same which is....well let's say unpleasent...

I was beaten by any climber who just came 3 month to this sport,though i am climbing for a year now not regulary though...well i'm over weighted and so on.

But damn ,point is you have to love climbing to remain in this sport, i could barely do a v2 months ago now i can red point v6/7...just becasue i got motivated from the inside,saw some movies and top climbers and whenever someone toped out better then me then i started learning from the person instead of giving out damns and be frustrated...well if that doesn't work then they may have to climb at lower grades, bring them to crags where they'll have fun to climb it and can top the routes, to bring back theire motivation, well you'll do it if your a good friend.Smile


imaboulderchic


Jan 24, 2007, 4:28 PM
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lena_chita wrote:
kansasclimber wrote:
One of my freinds is 30 some years old, and has been climbing for 15 years. Is there anything i can do?? Because once i get off of a hard send on some problem or route, the first thing i think of is "crap, that wasnt good for their ego"...... HELP!!! They love climbing, but its hard on their soul..

Wow! Or are you maybe projecting your own feelings of being frustrated watching a good climber onto someone else?

In reply to:
I agree with lena!


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