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maculated
Oct 9, 2005, 8:01 AM
Post #1 of 19
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Registered: Dec 23, 2001
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Ahh yes, it's been a while. Too much studying making me soft, too little climbing making me mushy. And alas, I must do as those who have come before me have done: kick back my heels on the top of my desk, lean back, close my eyes, and do the "wavy fingers thing" to invoke the feeling of psychedelic flashback.
::doodleey doo, doodleey doo, doodley doo::
Warning. This is a non-photo trip report. Let's see how long I can hold your watery, beady eyes.
::doodleey doo, doodleey doo, doodley doo::
"We want to do Snake Dike."
"Oh God," I moan, lying back in the mid-summer sun along the banks of the Merced after a long day of granite hand-stuffing, "Count me out. I did it once, and I've been on Half Dome twice, and the next time I do it, I'll go up the face, thankyouverymuch."
"Yeah, but . . . it will even out the pairs."
I turn from my towel, hair dripping in strings around my face. I look at JP for a moment, weighing my options. I don't really want a rest day, and I'm not one to make sudden and fast friends in the Valley. I like to know what I've got on the other end of the rope, you know?
But I remember that hike, and I don't really remember the climb. It was uneventful and after spending an entire summer in Mecca, I had become jaded. I'm all about remote locations, but is it remote if you're going to have some serious traffic miles from the valley? Not worth it.
I open my mouth to reject the offer when he flashes me a toothy grin. Did I mention it was a disarming, toothy grin? Sigh . . . "Okay. I'll go, but you and I partner, and we are the first up."
JP's even more selfish and cocky than me, he wants to be the first and the fastest too - my terms are hardly a trial for him.
::doodleey doo, doodleey doo, doodley doo::
The sun's not up, and when I feel him stirring in the tent next to me I roll over and moan. Please, let not today be the day. But yes, it is. I pull on my climbing pants, slip on my harness, stuff my camel bak full of beef jerky and Clif Bars and dried fruit and double check to see if that little laminated SuperTopo card is still sitting in the outer pocket of the pack. Yup.
The sun is coming up over the horizon now as we pull into the wilderness parking lot. Two cars full of twenty-somethings unload and we begin the trek up to Half Dome. We pass old and young. Lee takes some pictures. We stop to refill water at the spigot. I take absolute delight in pounding up the asphalted trail to the falls faster than anyone else we encounter.
Everyone stops to look over the plunging water, takes a few photos and regroups. James leads the way to his "secret beta" spot that's supposed to cut off a bunch of time compared to the "normal way."
http://www.maculated.com/images/yos/7.jpg
Photo by James
The six of us trundle up a barely trodden path, up up up up. We come across a beautiful gully still wet and teeming with wildflowers. The going is rough and my bad knees are giving me hell. JP stays back - fulfilling what all agree is his niche this summer - the father role. Making sure all his charges make it up.
I personally hate being the token gimp of any climbing foray, but so long as it doesn't hinder the plans and we all have a good time, and everyone knows to expect it, I still keep it up. JP does a marvellous job of not minding as I grunt and pant my way up the talused and moss-slippery gully.
The forest flattens and JP and I charge past our waiting friends, heading for a pond on the map, where everyone stops to refill their water bladders. We balance on a water saturated log in the middle of the pool while the others snack on James' Butterfingers (good lord he has a lot) and my beef jerky. I hold back on the Clif Bars and dried fruit as I notice the lot of them eating everything in their packs while it's barely ten o'clock now.
http://www.maculated.com/images/yos/1.jpg
Onward and upward we skirt the clear and grassy pond and begin the final ascent up past the tree line. We skirt thick slabs and dodge manzanita until we come to a flat ledge, panting, as we survey the scene. Party of three. Party of four, one guide.
"Oh, hey! It's you!" he says.
Mike! I can't believe he remembers me from two years ago in Tuolumne. "Hi Mike!"
"You working here again?"
"Nah, going to grad school now. Figured I could make money but still have the time to do what my wild heart tells me."
He nods in understanding. There are two parties ahead of us, so we all settle down out of the wind and wait. The other four of our crew finish off their remaining snacks as I putter around at the base, trying to kill time. It's really quite ridiculous the kind of waiting that can happen on a weekday in the summer miles off the beaten path.
After a few hours, Mike jogs up the path in his approach shoes, sets the anchor and hauls them up. The second party starts their ascent and JP and I ready ourselves to follow. He gets the first pitch, and then we'll alternate.
First pitch - 5.7 slabby crux. 5.7 is no big deal for us. We've been playing on 5.9s and 5.10s with no problem all week. 5.7. Hah.
As JP traverses left under the roof, trying to get to the crack to sink an alien in, I hear the tell tale sound of sticky rubber on glacial polish that forces the taunting "squeaky squeaky!" from my lips. He is not amused. He jogs up. He jogs down. Finally with the grace of a ten year old rendition of Swan Lake, he's through the polish and up on the easy ramp. "Off belay!" and awaaaaaaaaaaay we go.
I, of course, followed the slippery slab with the grace of a Ballantine beauty. On top rope.
As I clamber up the final moves of the short pitch, JP asks to take the second, seeing as how that was more like half a pitch. I shrug and give him what he wants.
As he steps out onto the face to approach the Dike of "Snake Dike" fame, I really wish I could ask him to hold it - the vision of him balanced against the mountains in the background is something that will always be burned into my mind. It's the image of the summer of 2004, not the broken patella, not the daylight drunken EpicEd party, not Kate and her Red Bulls, but JP balancing out on an easy, but airy move at the start of Snake Dike.
And me without my camera. I didn't want to look like a tourist. Gaa!!
When he hits the dike he absolutely runs up it, my arms are a bit tired from feeding slack and keeping the rope orderly by the time he calls off belay. It's my turn to trek out and up, and when I reach the slippery crystalline dike, I find myself not really wanting to trust it. The dike has plenty of features, and you could walk up it hands free - there's a reason it is so sparsely protected, but good lord those crystals look and feel slippery. As I'm climbing it like a ladder I marvel at my ability to trust my rubber not to slip off, and I go so quickly my calves are burning a bit when I reach my partner.
http://www.maculated.com/images/yos/5.jpg
Photo by James, of Chad and Katie
I look down to see James and Lee start their ascent. JP takes out the topo and sucks a bit of water out of my camelbak and I grab the little sling anchor we've fashioned and ONE quickdraw and I'm off.
Whew, baby. I can see why the route gets soloed so very often, but the entire time I'm pulling the rope up, I'm trying not to think of how far away from JP I'm getting and how I've got nothing to clip. I hear myself thinking, "It just takes one slip on these crystals. I wonder what that would feel like." This is the kind of crap that keeps me from being a better climber. I make a mental note to reread "Warrior's Way" when I get back to camp.
When I do get to the first and only bolt I'm happy to clip it and I'm feeling the burn. I don't know why my calves are aching so much, but they are and I'm a long way from the anchor. Surely I can rest at the bolt?
I look down at the party below us, they're catching up. My ego kicks into high gear and I'm off.
That's how the route pretty much goes. At the third from the top pitch, JP takes out the topo again and decides to bypass what he calculates is an optional belay. We're all about running out the rope as much as possible. He does the quick math, and, as he's always ready to remind you, he went to Harvard, so clearly he must know. I'm just an English major from a polytechnic state school.
As I watch him move upward, I can see the family team ahead of us slowing. We've been catching them even though we tried to give them a bit of a berth. The rope is getting shorter and shorter but JP stays his path. I shout up to him that he's halfway and he shrugs. The rope continues to pay out.
"Thirty feet!" I shout, more of a formality than anything else. I can see he's nearly at the anchors with the family and it looks like he might have to clip in and wait while they leave.
"WHAT!" his voice cracks like a fourteen year old.
"Thirty!" I try harder to enunciate.
"I'm not going to make it! I have at least fifty feet of climbing to go!"
Is this what they call the New Math? Or is it just Harvard math?
Well, greeeeeeeeeeeeat. I get to undoing the anchor, which, obviously is not a major undertaking considering it's two bolts. I stay clipped in while I weight exactly how much slack I should keep in the rope when I get going - by what degrees will he speed up climbing, and by what degrees will he slow down.
Simul-climbing the Snake Dike is pretty serious. On top of my inner dialogue giving me speeches about slippery dikage, I also have to now contend with visualizing the results of me slipping with him sixty feet out from his last pro, or him slipping and yanking me up. It's not pretty. But, I cling to the dikes and remind myself I'm on 5.4 ground and it's nothing I couldn't do with my eyes shut in any other situation.
I climb dilligently and carefully upward while he's approaching the anchor, and I cling to the dike patiently (not too patiently, mind you) while he clips in and am much happier when he calls he's off belay. Minutes later I join him at the top. We switch leads again and I finish out the route, which ends in an odd little formation that feels like you could get in and pretend to be a maze rat.
"Hah!" I shout, "I totally want to body belay you! Let me!"
"Nooooooooooooooooooo," he calls up.
"Come on! The pro's not that great anyway where I am!"
"Noooooooooooooooo."
So, I take a while while I try to get some small aliens in and settle back into my hole while I tow him up. When he does summit, he look around and says, "Huh, I guess you could have."
Well, yes, of course I could have. I wouldn't have suggested it if it was a stupid idea. But, you know, I didn't go to Harvard. ::wink::
So now we're at the top and our cohorts are a couple pitches down and it will be a while before both parties make it up. We start our ascent of the slabs.
We go up the slabs.
We go up the slabs.
We keep going up the slabs.
I spy a rock and I head to it, going up the slabs.
I sit down, panting from the exertion of going up the slabs.
He joins me. We change into our approach shoes. He says, "You know, I'm hungry."
"Ha ha," I say, "I knew we would be . . . that's why I kept MY food secret so they wouldn't demand we eat it down there."
"Ha ha," he says, "You sly fox you."
"Truly cunning," I agree.
http://www.maculated.com/images/yos/4.jpg
Snack break!
We sit on this rock gnashing on dried fruit and Clif bars happily until we see James top out. "Time to get going," I suggest. He agrees. My sense of competitiveness is awakened, seeing them catch up to us. I suspect JP feels the same.
http://www.maculated.com/images/yos/6.jpg
Photo by James. This, I think, is us trying to book it after spying them summitting.
So we go up the slabs.
And we keep going up the slabs.
Pant pant pant.
And we keep going up.
And up.
And up.
Pant pant pant.
Finally at the top, both of us find respective places to lay down - mountain pose.
http://www.maculated.com/images/yos/3.jpg
We sit there like that for something like an hour, until James comes up with Lee and waves something in my face: "Butterfinger?"
http://www.rockclimbing.com/...p.cgi?Detailed=62418
I lied! It's a photo!
Don't mind if I do!
Katie and Chad top out soon after, and she's chanting the song of, "I'm hunnnnnnngrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry."
JP and I look at eachother and smile. Muwahahahhaha.
Everybody takes a few photos at the top, James runs down to meet the Camp 4 crew so he can rig some ropes on El Cap for some shenanigans the next day, and the rest of us amble happily downward. The walk down is fraught with tourists begging us for water, fights about the greatest books read, and plans to digest piles of pizza deck cookery.
So, I did it again. No more. Thanks though. Next time I'll do the face.
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petsfed
Oct 9, 2005, 8:21 AM
Post #2 of 19
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Registered: Sep 25, 2002
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Good TR. That's the way a trip should go, and you have a good ear for what you're thinking at any given moment. Fun to read that way.
One of these years I'm actually going to make it to the Valley. Yeah, one of these years...
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saxfiend
Oct 9, 2005, 1:14 PM
Post #3 of 19
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Registered: Dec 31, 2004
Posts: 1208
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As usual, your TR is the most entertaining reading on rc.com. Keep them coming!
JL
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cowpoke
Oct 9, 2005, 3:00 PM
Post #4 of 19
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Registered: Aug 3, 2005
Posts: 142
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mmmm, with fall too quickly slipping into winter here in wyoming, I could almost feel the granite through your tr - thanks!
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vegastradguy
Oct 9, 2005, 3:05 PM
Post #5 of 19
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Registered: Aug 28, 2002
Posts: 5919
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oh, oh! i got through the whole thing, despite the lack of pictures!!!!
*trophy for you! nice read as usual!*
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gunkiemike
Oct 9, 2005, 3:15 PM
Post #6 of 19
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Registered: Oct 1, 2002
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Nice TR; makes me want to do the route someday.
One question - since when does "body belay" equate to "no anchor"??
Or did I read that wrong? He wouldn't accede to a BB, so you were forced to look for some Alien placements...huh?
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vegastradguy
Oct 9, 2005, 3:17 PM
Post #7 of 19
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Registered: Aug 28, 2002
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In reply to: Nice TR; makes me want to do the route someday. One question - since when does "body belay" equate to "no anchor"?? Or did I read that wrong? He wouldn't accede to a BB, so you were forced to look for some Alien placements...huh?
i suspect that mac could have just pinned herself in, using her body as both anchor and belay....
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maculated
Oct 9, 2005, 3:20 PM
Post #8 of 19
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Registered: Dec 23, 2001
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In reply to: As usual, your TR is the most entertaining reading on rc.com. Keep them coming!
Wow, thanks. That is one of the nicest compliments I could ask for.
And yes, body belay = no anchor in that situation. I'm not afraid of a good body belay if the situation calls for it. Hiding in a hole that there is no way I would get yanked out of it and the absolute minimum liklihood of him falling on second is a situation that calls for it. If it was good enough for the old school, it's a method I'm happy to employ.
It's not something I surprise my partners with. I let them know. They can decide whether they're into it or not.
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gunkiemike
Oct 9, 2005, 4:05 PM
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Follow up Q - if you had continued to just stand in the hole, but belayed him with an ATC on your harness, what would that be called?
I admit I use the term "body belay" synonymously with "hip belay". So I can do a BB even when I have a gear anchor. Often do, as a matter of fact.
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ambler
Oct 9, 2005, 6:02 PM
Post #10 of 19
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Registered: Jul 27, 2002
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In reply to: "Hah!" I shout, "I totally want to body belay you! Let me!" "Nooooooooooooooooooo," he calls up.
Nice summer breeze. 8^)
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maculated
Oct 9, 2005, 6:51 PM
Post #11 of 19
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Registered: Dec 23, 2001
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In reply to: Follow up Q - if you had continued to just stand in the hole, but belayed him with an ATC on your harness, what would that be called? I admit I use the term "body belay" synonymously with "hip belay". So I can do a BB even when I have a gear anchor. Often do, as a matter of fact.
I wasn't just standing in the hole, I was wedged into a little corner with three points of contact with the rope threading low toward the ground and "hip belaying."
If I was just standing in the hole and belayed him with an ATC on my harness, that would be called "stupid".
If you want to discuss the merits of hip/body belaying, could you start another thread and knock it off with the "OMG she is SO unsafe!!11!!" bullcorn in my TR thread?
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mingleefu
Oct 9, 2005, 9:36 PM
Post #12 of 19
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Registered: May 24, 2003
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hey- I recognize James from that picture. Hung with him for a week or so last August. At that time he was looking for a ride up to Squamish. He had just gotten back from Tuolumne with a pretty dazed look after climbing with some old dude who didn't want to pull the rope out for a 5.7 section. I think they had something like a liter of water between them for the whole day. At that point he was something like 7 months in the valley and taking full advantage. ..And now that I think about it, it did seem like James was pretty much surviving on candy and anything the tourons would leave behind. When we left yosemite, we left everything we could for him.
I was only there for two weeks last year. Didn't climb all that much, actually, but dang if it didn't feel like home. Great TR. (and I've always wanted to try a body belay, so you get two thumbs up from me just for trying. Good on ya.)
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maculated
Oct 9, 2005, 11:29 PM
Post #13 of 19
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Registered: Dec 23, 2001
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I wonder where he is now, and if he's cleaned out the magic pot yet. :) Maybe JP knows.
The best part is, James isn't that poor, he just wanted you to think he was.
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climbingnurse
Oct 10, 2005, 2:14 AM
Post #14 of 19
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Registered: Oct 30, 2003
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The day I did it (this summer) we had a party of four ahead of us with only one leader. And at no point did they have more than one person climbing.
They were also climbing with fully-loaded packs containing heavy boots, tents, sleeping bags, cooking gear, and lord knows what else. Their progress was truly glacial.
We passed them at one of the "alternate" belays early on. I still wonder where they ended up at nightfall. Hopefully they had at least summitted by then.
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maculated
Oct 10, 2005, 2:45 AM
Post #16 of 19
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Registered: Dec 23, 2001
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Oh yeah, I'm that into myself that I can't take you posting happy photos.
You bastard!
JP sent me some photos to post, too. I'm just lazy.
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enjoimx
Oct 10, 2005, 2:57 AM
Post #17 of 19
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Registered: Feb 23, 2004
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Are the pics of the guys standing up (orange shirt guy) on route, or on slab after route?
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maculated
Oct 10, 2005, 3:13 AM
Post #18 of 19
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Registered: Dec 23, 2001
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Slab. Sigh . . . I'll post JP's photos.
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climbingnurse
Oct 10, 2005, 3:51 AM
Post #19 of 19
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Registered: Oct 30, 2003
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Yeah, what Kristen said. Those pics of the orange-shirt guy (me) are on the slabs above the route.
This thread is just chock full of photos now! :)
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