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justthemaid
Aug 17, 2006, 3:34 PM
Post #26 of 27
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Registered: Sep 11, 2004
Posts: 777
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Dookie.
I've seen conflicts with inlaws destroy the relationships of several friends.
Press for the sale of the house and distance yourself from these people as soon as possible before it starts to errode your relationship. If you and Mike make each other happy, you don't need all this aggravation.
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winter
Aug 17, 2006, 4:15 PM
Post #27 of 27
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Registered: Apr 9, 2003
Posts: 2961
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Wow, haven't been here in a while and come one to hear all this hassle.
Abi, what a gong show.
You can chose your partner, but you CAN NOT chose your in-laws. Shitty hey?
I can never understand the whole blood is thicker than water mentality. I don't understand why, just because someone is 'family', we will accept horendous behavior from them. Far worse than we would from a friend. I have made several decisions in the last several years, as it suits me, to distance myself from my family. For instance my sister. She is a compulsive liar, she is a freeloader, she takes people for granted, she insults me when I'm not around but still wants to hang out when it suits her. I haven't spoken to her in months and it feels great! No bitterness, no anguish over it, just one stress eliminated from my life.
After hearing about your situation and that of numerous other relationships I have decided that any relationship that I have is only with someone who spends minimal time with their family. I want my relationship with my partner to be a family, not us as a part of his family. (not that I ever plan on having another partnership, but just what I would have wanted)
My point to you is, move away. Forget about them. Minimal contact with the parents and Dave. Dave made the decision to marry that woman, he has to live with the consequences. How close are Mike and Dave? It is perfectly possible for them to maintain a relationship (after the co-habitation issues are sorted) without involving her. I spend a great deal of time hanging with my dad. I loathe his wife, but I don't see her and it works out great. He made the decision to marry someone who hated his children, he has dealt with it by spending time with us without her, suits me fine.
Don't hang on to having a relationship with these people just because they are family. That goes for the siblings and parents. Do not accept behavior you would never accept from your friends. Life is too short to spend in the company of people who bring you down, regardless of who they are.
It will be liberating to be away!!
Good luck
xo
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