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stymingersfink
Nov 16, 2007, 2:50 AM
Post #26 of 52
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jesus saves!
(he clips coupons and uses them on double-punch tuesday)
stfu and gtho. that kind of shit belongs in soapbox. this is a secular portion of the web site.
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docjacen
Nov 16, 2007, 7:49 AM
Post #27 of 52
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CinnamonJohnson wrote: You know Paul, I was checking out your profile and it says you climb 5.11b sport....ouch. In sport climbing thats really kind of a beginner/novice sort of level. Did you ever think that maybe God is punishing you with poor climbing performance because you keep disobeying him and blaspheming?
Hey, you know what, you can suck my cinnamon-dipped johnson and SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. Fuckin religious nut jobs.
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grinspoon
Nov 16, 2007, 1:46 PM
Post #28 of 52
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HAhahahaha...thank you for starting my day off on a humorous note. We need more threads like this.. as well as the people who can't take a fucking joke.
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sticky_fingers
Nov 16, 2007, 1:49 PM
Post #29 of 52
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CinnamonJohnson wrote: Brother Mike...
Why you gotta bring race into this?
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limeydave
Nov 16, 2007, 3:42 PM
Post #30 of 52
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Please join me in this simple prayer:
"Dear Lord, thank you for the fucktards and humorously challenged, for in their blessed retardivity we find solice and grins. Amen" 
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curator
Nov 16, 2007, 3:50 PM
Post #31 of 52
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Thank you for your kind words brother cinnamon. However, the title of the post should actually be "Jesus sends Mango Tango". I feel very fortunate that he chose me as a vessel for his send. On my final redpoint burn of the day I made it through the crux and felt my mortal muscles failing me but then a higher power took over and I felt weightless like an angel. Jesus has a very busy schedule of easing hunger, curing disease, restoring virginity, etc. But he chose to use his powers to help me. I was truly blessed. It's disturbing to me how blasphemous some climbers have been on this post. I think we can all learn something from this. If you truly want to send something all you can do is pray, read scripture, and do pushups. Then just sit back and let the lord take over. As for Sharma, smoking weed and sending hard routes.....just evidence of the powers of satan. Satan, like Jesus, is a very strong climber and it is unfortunate for us as a community that he chose such an attractive, shaggy haired, chiseled back adonis such as Chris for his prophet. If you play dosage volume 1 in reverse, when Chris sticks the final jug on realization he clearly screams, "Satan is lord and I am his messenger, behold my inhuman power". I sure hope Sharma likes brimstone boulder problems. God bless.
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Uncia
Nov 16, 2007, 6:17 PM
Post #33 of 52
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starkcontrast wrote: oh no wait that was the romans and they used pitons on jesus. sorry i got my facts mixed up.
Man, I was really confused. I was under the impression that the romans used a green alien (this was before the qc problems), a #11 hex, and a pink tricam.
Not to derail this thread or anything but what is the best climbing protection to anchor humans? I mean, we all want to leave no trace but who wants to let their #12 Valley Giant Cam get dusty.
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nivlac
Nov 16, 2007, 6:54 PM
Post #34 of 52
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curator wrote: Thank you for your kind words brother cinnamon. However, the title of the post should actually be "Jesus sends Mango Tango". I feel very fortunate that he chose me as a vessel for his send. On my final redpoint burn of the day I made it through the crux and felt my mortal muscles failing me but then a higher power took over and I felt weightless like an angel. Jesus has a very busy schedule of easing hunger, curing disease, restoring virginity, etc. But he chose to use his powers to help me. I was truly blessed. It's disturbing to me how blasphemous some climbers have been on this post. I think we can all learn something from this. If you truly want to send something all you can do is pray, read scripture, and do pushups. Then just sit back and let the lord take over. As for Sharma, smoking weed and sending hard routes.....just evidence of the powers of satan. Satan, like Jesus, is a very strong climber and it is unfortunate for us as a community that he chose such an attractive, shaggy haired, chiseled back adonis such as Chris for his prophet. If you play dosage volume 1 in reverse, when Chris sticks the final jug on realization he clearly screams, "Satan is lord and I am his messenger, behold my inhuman power". I sure hope Sharma likes brimstone boulder problems. God bless.
Amen, Hallelujah, Amen. Blessed are ye prophets of the Lord.
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nivlac
Nov 16, 2007, 7:04 PM
Post #35 of 52
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This Joel Brandy, is he not a servant of the devil? He is clearly screaming "BAH" several times - speaking in the tongue of animals and not of men. His followers bleat their animal cries in response. I caution ye against possession by evil things.
Amen.
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atpeaceinbozeman
Nov 16, 2007, 7:21 PM
Post #36 of 52
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Nice send, cool looking line.
The way you posted the news is genius.
No better way to get responses than by bringing religion into the topic.
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marvinz
Nov 17, 2007, 3:34 AM
Post #37 of 52
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starkcontrast
Nov 17, 2007, 3:32 PM
Post #38 of 52
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jesus is going to break his thumbs spotting like that! "all knowing" my ass!
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curator
Nov 17, 2007, 10:54 PM
Post #39 of 52
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Is that Blake?
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stymingersfink
Nov 17, 2007, 11:11 PM
Post #40 of 52
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curator wrote: Is that Blake?
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jakedatc
Nov 17, 2007, 11:44 PM
Post #41 of 52
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whats up with that mono that looks like a bolt hole at 6:05 on that linked you tube vid... ?
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wzrdgandalf
Nov 18, 2007, 2:12 AM
Post #42 of 52
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CinnamonJohnson wrote: For those of you trad climbers and beginners out there who dont regularly check www.8a.nu, Mike Williams recently redpointed Mango Tango at the New River Gorge. Mike has not yet commented on the pushup routine that he used to train for the route, but it goes without saying he must have done a lot of them! This just goes to show that when you live according to good Christian values and spread his word, you can accomplish anything. Brother Mike had been searching for that perfect line for quite some time, and Jesus finally decided that this was his time. I think an honorary membership to Climbers for Christ maybe should be in order...Wink Wink.. Science Bless, Cinnamon
MY VOTE FOR BEST TROLL OF THE YEAR. Bravo!
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wzrdgandalf
Nov 18, 2007, 2:15 AM
Post #43 of 52
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http://bp3.blogger.com/_TVfEjAyW4Fk/RzumtgusGpI/AAAAAAAAENs/oBnlOIzxNNE/s1600-h/7.jpg
(This post was edited by wzrdgandalf on Nov 18, 2007, 2:16 AM)
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stymingersfink
Nov 18, 2007, 2:49 AM
Post #44 of 52
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made clickey. It's so appropriate for this thread I had to.
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curator
Nov 18, 2007, 10:40 PM
Post #45 of 52
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totally natural, the way god intended it. That said I have no idea why Joel decided to use that hold. Could it be.....Satan!
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badmammerjammer
Nov 19, 2007, 4:33 AM
Post #46 of 52
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Mikey, it has clear the Lord has chosen you as a vessel for his . . . message. Since you are now no doubt at the peak of your popularity, you should take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity given you, and go out and unleash your genetic material upon the world. Your audience is obviously receptive.
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j_ung
Nov 19, 2007, 1:22 PM
Post #47 of 52
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kmc wrote: We all know that Jesus is a trad climber. He doesnt beleive in clipping bolts. He actually roots against sport climbers.
Hoooooolllld on sec there, Beezlebub. Before you make such grandiose claims, perhaps we'd better analyze this.
<to be read with fire-and-brimstone emotion>
Judging strictly by other routes in the region, we can determine several facts about Jesus. First, some of you may not be aware, but Jesus Is My License Plate. Well, we all know the DMV is a tiny chunk of the lowest levels of Hell, which makes license plates undeniably malevolent. And what style of climbing is Jesus Is My License Plate? Sport. Interesting...
Next, we can assume that He likes to get his drink on, as evidenced by repeat sightings of Jesus and Tequila together, bonding like brothers. Drinking heavily while climbing is, as we all know, a purely traditional concept, however, yet again, the route is sport. Hmmm...
On the surface it seems as though we may not be able to glean any conclusion at all from this, but that's only true if we forget to Leave It to Jesus, which is undeniably one of the greatest trad routes of all time. It is my belief that this fact alone is sufficient to to prove that, yes, Jesus is a traddy.
But wait! Mango Tango is a sport climb. Mikey claims (and CJ supports) that his ascent was fueled by light of the righteous, not the flames of damnation. How can this be? What does it all mean?
Actually, my friends, it's simple. There can be only one logical explanation for all this, as I have now proven beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Curator is Satan and Cinnamon Johnson is his succubus. And Jesus, it's true, is a trad climber.
Amen.
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justroberto
Nov 19, 2007, 4:28 PM
Post #48 of 52
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j_ung wrote: And Jesus, it's true, is a trad climber. Amen.
Thus sayeth the Lord: Have I not told thee that members of Team Jesus must rack up? For it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rackless man to reach ascendency of Leave It to Jesus.
The Word of the Lord.
Thanks be to God.
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j_ung
Nov 19, 2007, 5:21 PM
Post #49 of 52
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Goddammit, I knew I was missing a Jesus route in there somewhere.
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starkcontrast
Nov 20, 2007, 1:21 AM
Post #50 of 52
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Posts: 149
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jesus is an aid climber. the entire time he was on that cross he was hanging on some pitons!
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