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macherry
Mar 7, 2011, 10:38 PM
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notapplicable wrote: macherry wrote: enigma wrote: I_do wrote: Kartessa wrote: Gmburns2000 wrote: Kartessa wrote: I_do wrote: Kartessa wrote: blondgecko wrote: Fun in concept, complicated in reality. Then you're doing it wrong. I have a theory on this matter, though it's just a theory. But if I'm right, I may have figured out a system to keep things from getting complicated. I'll give more info once I test it a little more  Easy for you to say, you get to do it with a man. Guys are just as likely as girls to get attached and start thinking there's some kind of serious romantic relationship forming. coughcoughBULLSHITcoughcough So you're saying that if you had a fun, moderately attractive girl who wanted to have sex with you on a regular basis and occasionally hang out beyond that, you would never consider a romantic relationship? I'm sorry sir, but I believe that it is YOU that is full of bullshit. There is a big difference between not thinking of it as a men opposed to not acknowledging differences between sexes. I think that if both people are on the same page it could possibility work.
However, almost every man even married, would have sex given the opportunity and not getting caught. I also think men today also look for other benefits besides sex , if they can find a women who will help them financially they'll do that too. Men will be friends, but are still looking for the benefit. The only situation that men can stay on the friends page is when you have business or activity in common. But you have to stay out of the bedroom, or women lose integrity from the man. what kind of guys do you hangout with? Seriously. Some people just don't make wise choices about who they spend time around. My longest standing friend, meaning the one I've had regular contact with and whom I still see often, is a woman who is married with two kids. We have known each other for 12+ years and there has never been anything sexual between us. Had dinner with her just last weekend, actually.
i have the same relationship with a climbing partner. it's not that hard
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enigma
Mar 7, 2011, 10:39 PM
Post #27 of 74
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notapplicable wrote: macherry wrote: enigma wrote: I_do wrote: Kartessa wrote: Gmburns2000 wrote: Kartessa wrote: I_do wrote: Kartessa wrote: blondgecko wrote: Fun in concept, complicated in reality. Then you're doing it wrong. I have a theory on this matter, though it's just a theory. But if I'm right, I may have figured out a system to keep things from getting complicated. I'll give more info once I test it a little more Easy for you to say, you get to do it with a man. Guys are just as likely as girls to get attached and start thinking there's some kind of serious romantic relationship forming. coughcoughBULLSHITcoughcough So you're saying that if you had a fun, moderately attractive girl who wanted to have sex with you on a regular basis and occasionally hang out beyond that, you would never consider a romantic relationship? I'm sorry sir, but I believe that it is YOU that is full of bullshit. There is a big difference between not thinking of it as a men opposed to not acknowledging differences between sexes. I think that if both people are on the same page it could possibility work.
However, almost every man even married, would have sex given the opportunity and not getting caught. I also think men today also look for other benefits besides sex , if they can find a women who will help them financially they'll do that too. Men will be friends, but are still looking for the benefit. The only situation that men can stay on the friends page is when you have business or activity in common. But you have to stay out of the bedroom, or women lose integrity from the man. what kind of guys do you hangout with? Seriously. Some people just don't make wise choices about who they spend time around. My longest standing friend, meaning the one I've had regular contact with and whom I still see often, is a woman who is married with two kids. We have known each other for 12+ years and there has never been anything sexual between us. Had dinner with her just last weekend, actually.
Chadsnc- If you re-read my quote I said Almost All
not All men
Macherry- I don't hang out with these men. but I have worked in new york and california business environments - Its just happens alot. Married men do cheat unfortunately, given the opportunity , not all of them obviously.
It was not personal .
How can you not notice what goes on when you work with 80 percent men 12 hour days. I am on a business level with them so its just that we have a professional relationship.
I really have no interest whatsoever in a man who is married ,personally.
I just see what goes on. what they say, what they do. I am an innocent bystander per se. Men who travel alot for business also seem to stray.
Would it be better for me not to tell what honestly goes on? I guess so.
Non-applicable it is of course possible to be friends with the opposite sex. I climb mostly with men and pretty much its as activity partners
I just said once women and men cross the line from friend to say boyfriend and girlfriend its harder to be just friends again. I apologize if someone was sensitive , to my post . I did say Almost
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Gmburns2000
Mar 7, 2011, 10:56 PM
Post #28 of 74
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notapplicable wrote: Gmburns2000 wrote: Kartessa wrote: I_do wrote: Kartessa wrote: blondgecko wrote: Fun in concept, complicated in reality. Then you're doing it wrong. I have a theory on this matter, though it's just a theory. But if I'm right, I may have figured out a system to keep things from getting complicated. I'll give more info once I test it a little more Easy for you to say, you get to do it with a man. Guys are just as likely as girls to get attached and start thinking there's some kind of serious romantic relationship forming. coughcoughBULLSHITcoughcough Ummmm, she has a point actually. Dudes talk a good game but they are just as, if not more neurotic, jealous and dramatic about that kind of stuff than the ladies are. At least that is what I have observed when my female friends have experimented with different non-relationship dynamics over the years. It's not really a man/woman thing though, so much as it is a human thing. Most people lack the emotional maturity, intelligence and control to make a dynamic like that work. It is a truly tragic flaw IMO but people simply are not self aware and rational enough (or seemingly even want to be) to override the more basic emotional impulses. There are obviously exceptions but the odds that two of them will meet at the right time in their lives to make that kind of relationship actually work are very low.
I have known significantly more women fucked up by relationships than men, significantly. Guys can more easily separate the sex from the relationship. Is that a general statement that doesn't apply to every person? Yes, but I believe there is a truth to that.
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enigma
Mar 7, 2011, 11:08 PM
Post #29 of 74
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rrrADAM wrote: enigma wrote: rrrADAM wrote: enigma wrote: However, almost every man even married, would have sex given the opportunity and not getting caught. Ummm... No offense, but there are many men who, even if single horny and drunk, would NOT have sex with you, even if nobody were to know about it. So, that's not entirely true. Adam, you are so miserable, angry and antagonistic. Is all that radiation, cold weather and being in nuclear plants getting to you. Or are you now with men too? Try to stay on topic, not personal attacks on your presumed analysis of my life. You never have anything positive to say on any of your posts, to anyone. Don't harass me anymore.   Ummmm... Yea, OK... You sure told "miserable, angry and antagonistic" me. I even said "No offense", as I was just directly pointing out that your statement was incorrect, in a way that you can understand. Seriously, though... What did I say that is untrue? 
I sure you can appreciate that you would like to keep your personal life , private.
In the same vain so do I.
So it would be the same as if I said no offense , I can't believe anyone would ever want to have sex with you even if you were the only man on earth.
Even if you were nice, handsome and a good natured person and a millionaire.
If you wanted sex I would think you would have to pay for it.
Understand Yet????????
It would be beneficial for you to read through your posts and notice that none of them are positive in anyway. I honestly believe you can add good input without having to be negative and get out your aggression through the internet.
Maybe when you are feeling angry and miserable you could just have a cup of tea . Or visit someone less fortunate than yourself, or go climbing.
These personal attacks on rockclimbing.com don't help anyone. In fact I've gotten p.m's from people who are afraid to post on the site saying they can't stand arguing and being insulted.
I have to go now ,some guy wants to take me to dinner tonight. I have some work to do and an business appointment .
Next time find someone else to harass , I'm just not into it. thanks
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notapplicable
Mar 7, 2011, 11:14 PM
Post #30 of 74
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Gmburns2000 wrote: notapplicable wrote: Gmburns2000 wrote: Kartessa wrote: I_do wrote: Kartessa wrote: blondgecko wrote: Fun in concept, complicated in reality. Then you're doing it wrong. I have a theory on this matter, though it's just a theory. But if I'm right, I may have figured out a system to keep things from getting complicated. I'll give more info once I test it a little more Easy for you to say, you get to do it with a man. Guys are just as likely as girls to get attached and start thinking there's some kind of serious romantic relationship forming. coughcoughBULLSHITcoughcough Ummmm, she has a point actually. Dudes talk a good game but they are just as, if not more neurotic, jealous and dramatic about that kind of stuff than the ladies are. At least that is what I have observed when my female friends have experimented with different non-relationship dynamics over the years. It's not really a man/woman thing though, so much as it is a human thing. Most people lack the emotional maturity, intelligence and control to make a dynamic like that work. It is a truly tragic flaw IMO but people simply are not self aware and rational enough (or seemingly even want to be) to override the more basic emotional impulses. There are obviously exceptions but the odds that two of them will meet at the right time in their lives to make that kind of relationship actually work are very low. I have known significantly more women fucked up by relationships than men, significantly. Guys can more easily separate the sex from the relationship. Is that a general statement that doesn't apply to every person? Yes, but I believe there is a truth to that.
I would actually agree with you about women taking the ending of a relationships harder than men but K wasn't really talking about the end of a relationship, or even the beginning.
She was talking about how they handle the non-beginnig of a relationship. I just haven't seen men handle that kind of ambiguity very well. Certainly they have different types of issues, usually more territorial/jealousy driven, but they have issues nonetheless.
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Gmburns2000
Mar 7, 2011, 11:31 PM
Post #31 of 74
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notapplicable wrote: Gmburns2000 wrote: notapplicable wrote: Gmburns2000 wrote: Kartessa wrote: I_do wrote: Kartessa wrote: blondgecko wrote: Fun in concept, complicated in reality. Then you're doing it wrong. I have a theory on this matter, though it's just a theory. But if I'm right, I may have figured out a system to keep things from getting complicated. I'll give more info once I test it a little more Easy for you to say, you get to do it with a man. Guys are just as likely as girls to get attached and start thinking there's some kind of serious romantic relationship forming. coughcoughBULLSHITcoughcough Ummmm, she has a point actually. Dudes talk a good game but they are just as, if not more neurotic, jealous and dramatic about that kind of stuff than the ladies are. At least that is what I have observed when my female friends have experimented with different non-relationship dynamics over the years. It's not really a man/woman thing though, so much as it is a human thing. Most people lack the emotional maturity, intelligence and control to make a dynamic like that work. It is a truly tragic flaw IMO but people simply are not self aware and rational enough (or seemingly even want to be) to override the more basic emotional impulses. There are obviously exceptions but the odds that two of them will meet at the right time in their lives to make that kind of relationship actually work are very low. I have known significantly more women fucked up by relationships than men, significantly. Guys can more easily separate the sex from the relationship. Is that a general statement that doesn't apply to every person? Yes, but I believe there is a truth to that. I would actually agree with you about women taking the ending of a relationships harder than men but K wasn't really talking about the end of a relationship, or even the beginning. She was talking about how they handle the non-beginnig of a relationship. I just haven't seen men handle that kind of ambiguity very well. Certainly they have different types of issues, usually more territorial/jealousy driven, but they have issues nonetheless.
Hmmm...
Well, of the people who I've known who have had one-night stands as well as friends with benefits relationships, I have still known very few men and many more women who have struggled with those scenarios.
Maybe they grow them differently in New England?
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notapplicable
Mar 7, 2011, 11:37 PM
Post #32 of 74
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Gmburns2000 wrote: notapplicable wrote: Gmburns2000 wrote: notapplicable wrote: Gmburns2000 wrote: Kartessa wrote: I_do wrote: Kartessa wrote: blondgecko wrote: Fun in concept, complicated in reality. Then you're doing it wrong. I have a theory on this matter, though it's just a theory. But if I'm right, I may have figured out a system to keep things from getting complicated. I'll give more info once I test it a little more Easy for you to say, you get to do it with a man. Guys are just as likely as girls to get attached and start thinking there's some kind of serious romantic relationship forming. coughcoughBULLSHITcoughcough Ummmm, she has a point actually. Dudes talk a good game but they are just as, if not more neurotic, jealous and dramatic about that kind of stuff than the ladies are. At least that is what I have observed when my female friends have experimented with different non-relationship dynamics over the years. It's not really a man/woman thing though, so much as it is a human thing. Most people lack the emotional maturity, intelligence and control to make a dynamic like that work. It is a truly tragic flaw IMO but people simply are not self aware and rational enough (or seemingly even want to be) to override the more basic emotional impulses. There are obviously exceptions but the odds that two of them will meet at the right time in their lives to make that kind of relationship actually work are very low. I have known significantly more women fucked up by relationships than men, significantly. Guys can more easily separate the sex from the relationship. Is that a general statement that doesn't apply to every person? Yes, but I believe there is a truth to that. I would actually agree with you about women taking the ending of a relationships harder than men but K wasn't really talking about the end of a relationship, or even the beginning. She was talking about how they handle the non-beginnig of a relationship. I just haven't seen men handle that kind of ambiguity very well. Certainly they have different types of issues, usually more territorial/jealousy driven, but they have issues nonetheless. Hmmm... Well, of the people who I've known who have had one-night stands as well as friends with benefits relationships, I have still known very few men and many more women who have struggled with those scenarios. Maybe they grow them differently in New England?
I thinks its more that they grow them strange here in the south.
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jeepnphreak
Mar 7, 2011, 11:57 PM
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Kartessa wrote: Then you're doing it wrong. I have a theory on this matter, though it's just a theory. But if I'm right, I may have figured out a system to keep things from getting complicated. I'll give more info once I test it a little more
Kartessa, if you need help with this let me know I would like to help 
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squierbypetzl
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Mar 8, 2011, 1:12 AM
Post #34 of 74
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macherry wrote: notapplicable wrote: My longest standing friend, meaning the one I've had regular contact with and whom I still see often, is a woman who is married with two kids. We have known each other for 12+ years and there has never been anything sexual between us. Had dinner with her just last weekend, actually. i have the same relationship with a climbing partner. it's not that hard
Cool, has a significant other of theirs ever had a problem with you being so close? One of my closest friends was married until a couple months ago, and her husband eventually became my friend, but I'm certain there are lots of men who couldn't handle their wives having close, never-been-sexual, male friends.
On the topic of friends with benefits: going through that with my most recent ex. Kind of complicated sometimes because, I think, we started off without having gotten over each other fully, so we've both had our mini-emotional relapses when bad things have happened in our lives.
I don't think everyone's cut out for it, you need a certain mindset that trascends mere gender, and it's probably just as difficult for men as it is for women. I've made it work in the past with girls who I just didn't have an emotional click with, that and I was going through a sort of poliamory thing (felt as I had love and good vibes to go around). I think if you can accept the fact that the other person can and likely will have sex, sweaty, hot, thoroughly enjoyable sex with another person or persons (perhaps at the same time), you stand a chance of pulling it off. Otherwise, spare yourself the anguish, maybe you're just too attached to that person, and that's ok.
(This post was edited by squierbypetzl on Mar 8, 2011, 1:13 AM)
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notapplicable
Mar 8, 2011, 3:30 AM
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squierbypetzl wrote: macherry wrote: notapplicable wrote: My longest standing friend, meaning the one I've had regular contact with and whom I still see often, is a woman who is married with two kids. We have known each other for 12+ years and there has never been anything sexual between us. Had dinner with her just last weekend, actually. i have the same relationship with a climbing partner. it's not that hard Cool, has a significant other of theirs ever had a problem with you being so close? One of my closest friends was married until a couple months ago, and her husband eventually became my friend, but I'm certain there are lots of men who couldn't handle their wives having close, never-been-sexual, male friends.
Well, in my case I am very good friends with her husband as well. I stay at their place when I'm working in that part of the state, I go camping with their family, etc... She and I also do stuff together when we just want to hangout. If it has ever caused any tension, I have never heard about it, which I'm confident I would considering other conversations we have had.
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camhead
Mar 8, 2011, 4:19 AM
Post #36 of 74
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enigma wrote: rrrADAM wrote: enigma wrote: However, almost every man even married, would have sex given the opportunity and not getting caught. Ummm... No offense, but there are many men who, even if single horny and drunk, would NOT have sex with you, even if nobody were to know about it. So, that's not entirely true. Adam, you are so miserable, angry and antagonistic. Is all that radiation, cold weather and being in nuclear plants getting to you. Or are you now with men too? Try to stay on topic, not personal attacks on your presumed analysis of my life. You never have anything positive to say on any of your posts, to anyone. Don't harass me anymore.
Really, what is with you and the homosexual jabs? Seriously, it's 2011.
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enigma
Mar 8, 2011, 6:46 AM
Post #37 of 74
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camhead wrote: enigma wrote: rrrADAM wrote: enigma wrote: However, almost every man even married, would have sex given the opportunity and not getting caught. Ummm... No offense, but there are many men who, even if single horny and drunk, would NOT have sex with you, even if nobody were to know about it. So, that's not entirely true. Adam, you are so miserable, angry and antagonistic. Is all that radiation, cold weather and being in nuclear plants getting to you. Or are you now with men too? Try to stay on topic, not personal attacks on your presumed analysis of my life. You never have anything positive to say on any of your posts, to anyone. Don't harass me anymore. Really, what is with you and the homosexual jabs? Seriously, it's 2011.
I was teasing you !!! But I won't anymore . Sincere apologies. I told you I've had many gay friends . 
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macherry
Mar 8, 2011, 6:57 AM
Post #38 of 74
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squierbypetzl wrote: macherry wrote: notapplicable wrote: My longest standing friend, meaning the one I've had regular contact with and whom I still see often, is a woman who is married with two kids. We have known each other for 12+ years and there has never been anything sexual between us. Had dinner with her just last weekend, actually. i have the same relationship with a climbing partner. it's not that hard ? One of my closest friends was married until a couple months ago, and her husband eventually became my friend, but I'm certain there are lots of men who couldn't handle their wives having close, never-been-sexual, male friends. On the topic of friends with benefits: going through that with my most recent ex. Kind of complicated sometimes because, I think, we started off without having gotten over each other fully, so we've both had our mini-emotional relapses when bad things have happened in our lives. I don't think everyone's cut out for it, you need a certain mindset that trascends mere gender, and it's probably just as difficult for men as it is for women. I've made it work in the past with girls who I just didn't have an emotional click with, that and I was going through a sort of poliamory thing (felt as I had love and good vibes to go around). I think if you can accept the fact that the other person can and likely will have sex, sweaty, hot, thoroughly enjoyable sex with another person or persons (perhaps at the same time), you stand a chance of pulling it off. Otherwise, spare yourself the anguish, maybe you're just too attached to that person, and that's ok.
never been an issue. my husband knows my climbing partner. there's just nothing but friendship and a climbing relationship.
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Kartessa
Mar 8, 2011, 1:44 PM
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jeepnphreak wrote: Kartessa wrote: Then you're doing it wrong. I have a theory on this matter, though it's just a theory. But if I'm right, I may have figured out a system to keep things from getting complicated. I'll give more info once I test it a little more Kartessa, if you need help with this let me know I would like to help
How's the climbing out there?
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jeepnphreak
Mar 8, 2011, 5:28 PM
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Kartessa wrote: jeepnphreak wrote: Kartessa wrote: Then you're doing it wrong. I have a theory on this matter, though it's just a theory. But if I'm right, I may have figured out a system to keep things from getting complicated. I'll give more info once I test it a little more Kartessa, if you need help with this let me know I would like to help How's the climbing out there?
Good, there are lots of possibilities with in a half hour drive. Trad, sport and Ice in the winter. Our vally in split in half, on one half lim stone and dolomite for sport and the other granite and gneiss for trad.
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cmagee1
Mar 8, 2011, 6:58 PM
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Okay so might as well update yall on my current fwb situation. So... now we both have feelings for each other, and its turning out that were probably going to date. So maybe this kind of relationship can be a good lead up to something more serious? This is probably a really rare situation tho.
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Toast_in_the_Machine
Mar 9, 2011, 1:31 PM
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cmagee1 wrote: Okay so might as well update yall on my current fwb situation. So... now we both have feelings for each other, and its turning out that were probably going to date. So maybe this kind of relationship can be a good lead up to something more serious? This is probably a really rare situation tho.
Or it could be that you both already had feelings for each other and it took breaking down of the habitual way in which you were acting towards each other to let the two of you better express your emotions.
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enigma
Mar 10, 2011, 5:45 AM
Post #44 of 74
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Toast_in_the_Machine wrote: cmagee1 wrote: Okay so might as well update yall on my current fwb situation. So... now we both have feelings for each other, and its turning out that were probably going to date. So maybe this kind of relationship can be a good lead up to something more serious? This is probably a really rare situation tho. Or it could be that you both already had feelings for each other and it took breaking down of the habitual way in which you were acting towards each other to let the two of you better express your emotions.
Aw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it real or memorex?
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skiclimb
Mar 10, 2011, 5:56 AM
Post #45 of 74
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Who cares..
it's all about the benefits..
ok i actually do care...
hope they had fun too
(This post was edited by skiclimb on Mar 10, 2011, 5:58 AM)
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Kartessa
Mar 10, 2011, 5:57 AM
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enigma wrote: Toast_in_the_Machine wrote: cmagee1 wrote: Okay so might as well update yall on my current fwb situation. So... now we both have feelings for each other, and its turning out that were probably going to date. So maybe this kind of relationship can be a good lead up to something more serious? This is probably a really rare situation tho. Or it could be that you both already had feelings for each other and it took breaking down of the habitual way in which you were acting towards each other to let the two of you better express your emotions. Aw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it real or memorex?
Is it cocaine or methamphetamine? Or you addin in a little lsd in your cheerios?
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skiclimb
Mar 10, 2011, 6:01 AM
Post #47 of 74
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Kartessa wrote: enigma wrote: Toast_in_the_Machine wrote: cmagee1 wrote: Okay so might as well update yall on my current fwb situation. So... now we both have feelings for each other, and its turning out that were probably going to date. So maybe this kind of relationship can be a good lead up to something more serious? This is probably a really rare situation tho. Or it could be that you both already had feelings for each other and it took breaking down of the habitual way in which you were acting towards each other to let the two of you better express your emotions. Aw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it real or memorex? Is it cocaine or methamphetamine? Or you addin in a little lsd in your cheerios?
did you notice her name? ,,, i'll bet she is left handed
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lena_chita
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Mar 10, 2011, 3:16 PM
Post #49 of 74
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skiclimb wrote: Kartessa wrote: enigma wrote: Toast_in_the_Machine wrote: cmagee1 wrote: Okay so might as well update yall on my current fwb situation. So... now we both have feelings for each other, and its turning out that were probably going to date. So maybe this kind of relationship can be a good lead up to something more serious? This is probably a really rare situation tho. Or it could be that you both already had feelings for each other and it took breaking down of the habitual way in which you were acting towards each other to let the two of you better express your emotions. Aw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it real or memorex? Is it cocaine or methamphetamine? Or you addin in a little lsd in your cheerios? did you notice her name? ,,, i'll bet she is left handed
Hey now, keep left-handed people out of this mess. or should I say meth?
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chadnsc
Mar 10, 2011, 3:41 PM
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lena_chita wrote: skiclimb wrote: Kartessa wrote: enigma wrote: Toast_in_the_Machine wrote: cmagee1 wrote: Okay so might as well update yall on my current fwb situation. So... now we both have feelings for each other, and its turning out that were probably going to date. So maybe this kind of relationship can be a good lead up to something more serious? This is probably a really rare situation tho. Or it could be that you both already had feelings for each other and it took breaking down of the habitual way in which you were acting towards each other to let the two of you better express your emotions. Aw !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it real or memorex? Is it cocaine or methamphetamine? Or you addin in a little lsd in your cheerios? did you notice her name? ,,, i'll bet she is left handed Hey now, keep left-handed people out of this mess. or should I say meth?
Lena you turning green has detrimentally effected your sense of humor. 
Report! Report!
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