Ok, so "men" here is used as most human beings of the masculine variety--men, in general. I was arguing about this with a girl friend: I took the position of Option 1 and she was somewhere in between Option 2 and Option 3. Thought I'd ask on here, since there are a lot of actual guys with first-hand experiences!
Well it should generate some discussion. I expect a couple of tangents: 1. Sort of obvious - how important is it in choosing a mate that they have the same desire? How many cases of choice 3 are planned for and expected ahead of time. Cynical viewpoint I guess. And obviously the gender roles could be reversed and sometimes are. 2. How many kids "just happen" - not a result of trying/trying not to like crazy?
So is this a poll asking people (regardless of the gender) to express their opinion on what they think is the majority/prevalent behavior among males, or is this a question for men only?
You sure are obsessed with sex and procreation, or at least you come across that way.
And as to the answer, I've seen all kinds of men, and I don't think I can make an accurate guess about the majority, but I think the societal expectations/upbringing play a major role.
I don't think there is anything "biological" that makes men programmed to want kids.
You sure are obsessed with sex and procreation, or at least you come across that way.
Well, I'm not particularly interested in politics or economics, so perhaps that limits the number of topics I participate in on here. I'm also interested in things like climbing and food, though!
Well, I'm not particularly interested in politics or economics, so perhaps that limits the number of topics I participate in on here. I'm also interested in things like climbing and food, though!
So - maybe the poll should be:
Would men prefer to have - children - a ham sandwich - sex - ability to climb harder than Alex Honnald
hahahaha
I think the children thing is something that obviously cannot be generalized, just like it cannot be for women.
You sure are obsessed with sex and procreation, or at least you come across that way.
Well, I'm not particularly interested in politics or economics, so perhaps that limits the number of topics I participate in on here. I'm also interested in things like climbing and food, though!
Sex, climbing, food.. if you add beer you pretty much have the basic requirements covered
I voted 3 because I think it's the most true for everyone, not just men. I know plenty of men and women who want children or even feel they "need" them to be happy/complete. I also know some who are somewhat ambivalent and a few who don't want them at all.
It does often seem though that women are more compelled to have children than men. I wonder sometimes what that must "feel" like. Is it similar to the urge to mate in it's manifestation? The desire to host a parasite in your body for nearly a year and then raise the strangely animated little creature afterwards is something of an odd compulsion, to say the least.
You sure are obsessed with sex and procreation, or at least you come across that way.
Well, sex and sexuality has a pretty significant influence on human interactions. I would argue that it should not but one look at the world around me shows it's influence to be both substantial and pervasive. I would also say there are a good number of people who like it that way.
Ok, so "men" here is used as most human beings of the masculine variety--men, in general. I was arguing about this with a girl friend: I took the position of Option 1 and she was somewhere in between Option 2 and Option 3. Thought I'd ask on here, since there are a lot of actual guys with first-hand experiences!
I think it depends. I chose #1 because that's what I want. My ex-wife wasn't sure about kids and ultimately decided she didn't want them. My current girlfriend has a 20-year old son, but isn't against having more kids, even though she never had any others. In my time, I've met just as many women who wanted kids as I've met who didn't, which makes me think that men probably have the same tendencies.
I'm sure culture plays a HUGE part in influencing both men and women, but I think there must be some intrinsic desire amongst both men and women (broadly speaking, of course) because without procreation we would cease to exist as a species.
I voted 3 because I think it's the most true for everyone, not just men. I know plenty of men and women who want children or even feel they "need" them to be happy/complete. I also know some who are somewhat ambivalent and a few who don't want them at all.
It does often seem though that women are more compelled to have children than men. I wonder sometimes what that must "feel" like. Is it similar to the urge to mate in it's manifestation? The desire to host a parasite in your body for nearly a year and then raise the strangely animated little creature afterwards is something of an odd compulsion, to say the least.
Super interesting response! I can't really speak to the desire to have children, because sometimes I feel I would like to have them but at other times I don't feel I "need them to be happy/complete" like you say . . . but in any case, it sounds a bit awkward to refer to gestation as "hosting a parasite"--the baby will be the same species as you! Plus, we were all a "parasite" once, right? :)
I voted 3 because I think it's the most true for everyone, not just men. I know plenty of men and women who want children or even feel they "need" them to be happy/complete. I also know some who are somewhat ambivalent and a few who don't want them at all.
It does often seem though that women are more compelled to have children than men. I wonder sometimes what that must "feel" like. Is it similar to the urge to mate in it's manifestation? The desire to host a parasite in your body for nearly a year and then raise the strangely animated little creature afterwards is something of an odd compulsion, to say the least.
Super interesting response! I can't really speak to the desire to have children, because sometimes I feel I would like to have them but at other times I don't feel I "need them to be happy/complete" like you say . . . but in any case, it sounds a bit awkward to refer to gestation as "hosting a parasite"--the baby will be the same species as you! Plus, we were all a "parasite" once, right? :)
People say the same thing when I tell them small children creep me out but it's no consolation. I'm 100% confident that I was super creepy back then too; moving and speaking with the strange incongruity of one lacking higher order cognitive functions.
(This post was edited by notapplicable on Dec 23, 2011, 12:11 AM)
Children are fun. They're cool to have around the house. They provide drama, adventure, and laughs.
Except teen-agers. All you can do with your teens is ignore them until they get a job.
On the other hand, now that our kids are grown and gone, our home is a lot more comfortable, and I like it. But they still provide drama, adventure, and laughs.
Children are fun. They're cool to have around the house. They provide drama, adventure, and laughs.
While it is true, and we had no shortage of drama, adventure and laughs, I admit that more than once, when the kids were little, I had found myself wondering: how is it possible that I love my kids so much, yet the part of the day I enjoy most comes when they are finally asleep? :)
dan2see wrote:
Except teen-agers. All you can do with your teens is ignore them until they get a job.
This, now, I have to disagree with. I have the coolest teenager in the house, and he is WAY more fun as a teenager than he was as a toddler.
When the 2-X-chromosomes kid becomes a teenager, though... Yeah, I'll report back on that later, if I survive.
Kingdom: Animalia Phylum: Vertebrata Class: Mammalia Order: Primates
Viewed biologically, many mammals have a system in which relatively few males actually get to reproduce. Only the dominant male reproduces, often with several to many females. But the subordinate males still try, and sometimes succeed, in stealing a receptive female from the dominant male. They seem to "naturally want" to have kids. (Or at least, to have sex).
In Primates, there is a lot of variety. There are some reproducing pairs, and some in which a dominant male keeps a "harem" of reproducing females.
In humans, (the only primates which inhabit every continent), we have tremendous variety, and furthermore, it has changed over time. Present western civilization kind of emphasizes one man to one woman (purely speaking about biologically reproducing couples here, I'm not "gay-bashing" in the least). There may still be primitive cultures (or areas in Appalachia) where this is not the case.
Anyway, I had to object to the use of male.
I never wanted, nor expected to have kids. Second marriage, met the most wonderful woman in the world. Now I have three kids, and my life has never been richer. Did I naturally want kids? Probably not. Until I had one.
If I had started at a younger age, I would have had a dozen. But I didn't always feel that way.
I didn't want kids, but acquiesced. Now that I have a one-month-old baby, I love him, and I'm not giving him up. However, I still sometimes wonder if I made the right choice, especially when I'm tired or can't figure out why he's crying or my wife is at her own wit's end. And then I feel profoundly guilty. Between it all I stay awake for exceptionally long periods of time. It's extremely difficult.
Well, I'm not particularly interested in politics or economics, so perhaps that limits the number of topics I participate in on here. I'm also interested in things like climbing and food, though!
So - maybe the poll should be:
Would men prefer to have - children - a ham sandwich - sex - ability to climb harder than Alex Honnald
hahahaha
I think the children thing is something that obviously cannot be generalized, just like it cannot be for women.
men want to get laid and go climbing. getting laid regularly can lead to kids, but it isn't a direct correlation. having kids adversely affects climbing logistically and financially... and your homies make fun of you for wearing the offspring on your chest like you are a hermaphrodite alien life form.
Thinking back, I can't point to a particular time or period that I told myself "I want kid(s)" but I always knew that I'll eventually become a father. The funny thing is that I really didnt know what to expect but once the baby came, I can't imagine life without kid(s) and wish that I should have done it sooner than later. Whether men natually want kids or not, every guys I know instantly became so excited once the wife got pregnant.
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