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climber49er
Mar 8, 2003, 2:07 AM
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OK,
I am a pretty new climber so I am not real comfortable on a rope yet anyway (toprope in a gym). Unfortunately, my partner (my wife) is even less experienced than me, and shall we say, has a hard time understanding the physics of a belay. I really want to climb, as does she (it was her idea to start), but I just don't trust her to belay me.
As you can guess, it is really limiting my ability to push my abilities when I climb with her, I am just too afraid to fall! I have seen her "forget" proper belay technique a few too many times. She has a tendency to let go with her brake hand when pulling slack. She also has a tendency to freeze up mentally. I watched her belay my 80lb niece the other night and when my niece fell, my wife held on tight to the main rope instead of locking off! Fortunately she can catch an 80lb girl this way, but there is no way she will stop my over 200lb butt like that!
I am pretty discouraged about this. I really want to climb with her but until she proves herself able I feel like I can't do anything that I wouldn't free solo! She knows her mistakes but is having a hard time overcoming them. Sooooo, anyone have any good suggestions about how I might help her get these basics down a little (lot) better?
Thanks
P.S. - she is kind of sensitive and don't want to get her discouraged and wanting to stop climbing.
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cracklover
Mar 8, 2003, 2:18 AM
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Ooh, tough one.
My only suggestion is to seek professional help. Seriously! A good teacher will know how to teach all different kinds of people. You didn't spell it out, but perhaps you are (I'm sure as nicely as you can) repeatedly trying to drum the basic concepts into her head. It may be that your partner has a different way of thinking than you do, and a professional guide may be able to explain things in a way that you cannot, but one that will be easier for your partner to "understand" and physically incorporate. It also may be that she's picking up on your vibe, and it's making her more nervous about dropping you - a viscious circle. Fortunately, one that also might be broken by the sort of intervention I mentioned above. If she comes back with the confidence of knowing that now she "understands", and can demonstrate her ability, you'll feel better, and then she'll feel better, too. If climbing with her is really important to both of you, it could be money well spent.
GO
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xanx
Mar 8, 2003, 2:30 AM
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boulder
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climber49er
Mar 8, 2003, 3:03 AM
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Yup, I mostly do boulder, a few times a week because the wife can only get away from the kids once or twice a month.
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apollodorus
Mar 8, 2003, 3:09 AM
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Go find a better climber and become his belay monkey. That's the only surefire way to get better. Let the diffusion of knowledge flow to you, instead of the other way around.
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hammer_
Mar 8, 2003, 3:11 AM
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use a grigri
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crackaddict
Mar 8, 2003, 3:21 AM
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Find someone else to help her belay while you are climbing. Someone that is a better more experienced climber than you both. That way she can lern how to belay and you can gain trust in her as well.. The only way she will learn is through practice and through calm proper instruction. If it is hard for you to find someone else to help you. Consider hiring a guide.
Later..
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misha
Mar 8, 2003, 3:32 AM
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BOULDER. And don't boulder because you don't have a belay. Boulder because you'd rather do it instead of rope climbing.
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kman
Mar 8, 2003, 3:34 AM
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Hammer, if some one can't grasp the concept of belaying then a gri gri is not the answer. They are not fool proof guy. You should still not take your hand off the brake end gri gri or not.
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hammer_
Mar 8, 2003, 3:41 AM
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Sure kguy but it's better than what he's doing now.
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gymclimbfreak
Mar 8, 2003, 3:49 AM
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I say find a new belayer.. no offense to your wife.. but i'd rather piss her off a little than be dead.. although i hear life insurance pays pretty well. :shock:
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kcrag
Mar 8, 2003, 3:49 AM
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In reply to: Yup, I mostly do boulder, a few times a week because the wife can only get away from the kids once or twice a month.
Am I the only one saying... WHAT? Hummm. Maybe I am mis-reading your statement, but it seems as if you split up the kid duty a little, then perhaps your wife could get out more to climb & learn?
I'd also back cracklover's comment.
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gymclimbfreak
Mar 8, 2003, 3:51 AM
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Being totally serious, take her climbing more, find someone who has a lot of experience and learn from them.. most gyms offer classes, take one of those together.. there are a lot of ways you can solve this problem..
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kman
Mar 8, 2003, 3:53 AM
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You should talk it over with her and tell her your concerns. Hmmm...may be a little touchy with her being your wife though. You know how women are eh. With her being your wife and all she might just take it as "oh I don't trust you with my life there sweety" :shock: Which may result in couch sleeping. It might just be safer to let her belay you :lol: Be afraid...be very afraid. Mwahahaha
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climbinggirl33
Mar 8, 2003, 4:05 AM
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Are you climbing in a gym? I'd ask someone who works there if he/she minded providing a back up belay to coach your wife on proper technique.
You could also say that you'd like to practice falling and climb really easy routes and make sure she's ready before you come off the wall - build up your confidence in each other.
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brendodb
Mar 8, 2003, 4:24 AM
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....I agree that if someone isn't using proper technique with an ATC type belay device... a Gri-Gri is not the solution... more teaching and PRACTICE is the solution...
Climber49er: You mention that your wife can only get away from the kids once or twice a month....
It may be part of the problem that she doesnt have a consistent time to practice... belaying is a simple concept, but also very easy to forget...
Find another belayer or find another babysitter... and then your wife can practice more...
GL... be safe...
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asaph
Mar 8, 2003, 4:28 AM
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next time you're in the gym, just ask for a refresher course in belay technique, and go through it with her. As in, you participate in the learning too. So it's not like you're telling her "You're screwing up, you suck as a belayer, i dont trust you so go take the class again" Whatever you decide to do, go through it with her.
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wallrat
Mar 8, 2003, 4:31 AM
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Ummm, what's a polite way to say that the most dangerous thing in climbing is two beginners trying to teach each other???? I would strongly recommend a GriGri, and letting her belay you taking a good whipper (small ones at first) under controlled circumstances, ie; in a gym, with a GriGri, with her clipped in so she doesn't 'kiss' the wall, and with an oldtimer standing by. It won't be until she understands the forces involved in the belay chain, and practices with them, that she'll have the experience you can trust. I hope this is of some help.
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vulgarian
Mar 8, 2003, 4:34 AM
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Are you sure she wants to catch you? :shock:
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elvis
Mar 8, 2003, 4:36 AM
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grigri is not the answer its not fool proof and institutes lazines in the belay . get a an expeirenced female climber to stand around and help her when she belays another female mind instucting might help as woman think diferently to men and if she si only climbing once a month she needs top get more time on rope learning
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kman
Mar 8, 2003, 4:49 AM
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yeah give her a gri gri so she can learn that it's ok if she takes her hand off the brake end cause hey it will catch you every time. Then one day give her an ATC or somethin else to belay with and...uh oh, how come he fell to the ground??? :roll: :roll:
*this post had a sarcastic tone to it*
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foograbbinstone
Mar 8, 2003, 5:09 AM
Post #22 of 72
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I skimmed thru some of the post's!!! Wife and child you might wanna give em a chance and try towork something out.............your gonna seem them everyday anyway........!!!!!! I had my brother climbing with me for a while but he has an attention span of about 12 seconds..........I'ld be sketched out and look back at him and he wouldn't even be looking at me so I'ld force myself thru to a rest and he still wouldn't be looking at me
I got to a rest and watched him and he didn't even glance in my direction for atleast 1.5 ' . So I gave him the boot!!!!! I'm sure he'ld feel real bad if I got hurt an everything but by that point who cares.
I want someone who's concerned enough too pay attention atleast!!!!
.02
mike
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alpnclmbr1
Mar 8, 2003, 5:14 AM
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have someone watch and critique her belay
use a gri gri when you might fall
use an atc when you won't fall
to other posts
you do let go with your brake hand with a gri gri to feed out rope
gri gri's don't make you lazy, your either a good belayer or your not
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taino
Mar 8, 2003, 5:17 AM
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In reply to: Ooh, tough one. My only suggestion is to seek professional help. Seriously! A good teacher will know how to teach all different kinds of people. You didn't spell it out, but perhaps you are (I'm sure as nicely as you can) repeatedly trying to drum the basic concepts into her head. It may be that your partner has a different way of thinking than you do, and a professional guide may be able to explain things in a way that you cannot, but one that will be easier for your partner to "understand" and physically incorporate. It also may be that she's picking up on your vibe, and it's making her more nervous about dropping you - a viscious circle. Fortunately, one that also might be broken by the sort of intervention I mentioned above. If she comes back with the confidence of knowing that now she "understands", and can demonstrate her ability, you'll feel better, and then she'll feel better, too. If climbing with her is really important to both of you, it could be money well spent. GO
Hell, yes. The hammer has found the head of the nail. Good call.
T
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kalcario
Mar 8, 2003, 5:17 AM
Post #25 of 72
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The grigri is by far the best belay device, if wifey-poo is'nt going to be doing multi pitch routes with you she never needs to learn how to use anything else, if she letsgo of the rope belaying you on top rope with an ATC she drops you and then you land on top of her, if she lets go of the grigri nothing happens. Gym instructor and 30 year climbing veteran talking here
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