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deleted
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Jun 23, 2003, 6:53 PM
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shorty --
doood! i had SUCH a blast climbing with you and skibby yesterday. next time don't be such a d*mn lead hog! let someone else tie into the sharp end every couple of climbs! :lol:
martha -- so ... how do you like friction climbing? thanks for the apres climb jalapeno wheat beer! it most definitely hit the spot.
i apologize for the mess i made at the restaurant when i spooged the ranch dressing all over the table and myself! like i said, that beer hit the spot. and after climbing all day with not much to eat, i think i was a bit loopy!
keep thinking about this gathering!
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shorty
Jun 23, 2003, 6:54 PM
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(Warning, Will Robinson, Warning! Sarcasm meter going off the scale. Robot detects Dr. Smith's tampering with ethics program. Danger, Danger ...)
Ah yes, Amber, I remember sport leading school.
Leader's Lesson:
1. locate bolt
2. climb towards bolt
3. clip bolt
4. repeat if necessary
Belayer's Lesson:
1. locate Crazy Creek chair
2. park butt-blaster in chair
3. clip rope into grigri and harness
4. keep bottle of sparkling, natural spring water nearby
5. practice saying "dude" as a three-syllable word
Tough school. I started in the remedial group, needed after hours tutoring from Sylvan Learning Centers, but finally tested for my G.E.d. after 4 years. Didn't graduate because I kept missing the final multiple choice question: "A 5.11a lead is ..."
A. Really freakin' hard!
B. Attainable only on low-gravity days with bolt-to-bolt hangs for fat-ass working stiffs.
C. An embarrassingly easy warm up climb, only done after spraying about 3 blown tendons from sending your latest project at VRG.
Fortunately, I've just been accepted into "Slab 101 for Gumbies" at the local community college. Rumor has it, our first lesson is to perfect the "Edwin Moses belay stance" -- a handy technique for Boulder's waaay runout 5.4 Flatiron routes. I can't wait.
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skibabeage
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Jun 23, 2003, 6:57 PM
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deleted
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Jun 23, 2003, 7:04 PM
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[quote:7322318f94="skibabeage"]the Jeep made it up the hill without over-heating too much, but now it's frozen in reverse[/quote:7322318f94]
sheesh, what a RELIEF! and i thought it was just me ... who could never be sure with women ... whether they were coming or going! :lol:
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shorty
Jun 23, 2003, 7:36 PM
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Geo -- kwitcher bitchin', just grab the cams & draws (dude), and climb. Besides, I seem to remember your comments on one lead, about needing something bigger (ahem) to use in the crack.
Skibby -- Yah, ve vill make a burly-gurl slab klimber out of you yet. You vill flex your shapely calves und beat zee vimpy rock into submission. Vimpy Frenchy sport klimbs are for zee gurly-men. Ahnold vould approve.
And remember, gerbil is served as a wrap.
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deleted
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Jun 23, 2003, 8:33 PM
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shorty, dood --
and, by the way, may i ask -- why do the ladies call you SHORTY?
to correct the misinformation you've been scooping out here: i did not say i needed something BIGGER on that route, i said i needed something SMALLER. you know, come to think of it -- i've never seen you place a nut. "friends and tcu's ... that's all i need".
geez, man ... it's a d*mn good thing we used YOUR rack, 'cause if it were up to THIS heavy-duty trad-daddy i'd have been pounding a bunch of nested angles and leeper z's behind every one of those expando flakes.
oh, and while i'm on a roll: even though my 200 pounds of solid steel and sex appeal DID grind that one flake to a pulp, i was STILL able to heft my prodigious, dense mass and stick that one dyno move where YOU took the women's and children's variation with much whimpering and gnashing of teeth. :lol: :lol: :lol:
bite.
me.
dood.
*dancing the "cabbage patch"* go geo ... it's your birthday ...
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wigglestick
Jun 23, 2003, 9:48 PM
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In reply to: my 200 pounds of solid steel and sex appeal
By golly that is good. I feel like I should be writing this down or something.
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shorty
Jun 23, 2003, 10:17 PM
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Wow, not certain about this, but I think I've been slammed. I just may take my grigri back to Clear Creek Canyon and pout. Bring out the waaahh-mbulance.
BZZZZZT! Thanks for playing, but last time I checked, a number 3 camalot is bigger than a number 2 camalot. I know my cams -- pink, teal, turquoise, mauve, aqua, sunflower, puce, and tangerine -- I just love that rainbow (coalition) of colors.
Geo, try getting in touch with your feminine side. Nothing like some purdy spring things to balance that hunka-hunka "steel and sex appeal." Besides, who needs nuts and hexes (aka "3-dimensional things") when I have lavender anodized French biners which are color coordinated with my slippers. But I somehow need to find a wife-beater t-shirt in primrose to complete my ensemble.
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deleted
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Jun 23, 2003, 10:29 PM
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yeah, we WERE talking about those rainbow stickers, weren't we? LOOK -- i don't mind if someone's of an alternative lifestyle. MY problem is that some of those stickers are so small you're almost up the guy's @SS before you see them! :shock: and believe me, it's not a pleasant thing to be rear-ended by a ram!
... or a probe.
insofar as your pretty biners ... give me bd ovals any day. yeah, they're a lot heavier, but i can usually get in an entire set of curls -- thereby further bulking up my guns -- while i'm waiting for you to thrutch up the pitch and flop yer carcass onto the belay like a landed halibut.
rock on.
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elvislegs
Jun 23, 2003, 10:34 PM
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Scuse' me Gents, May I interject here?
BwaHAHAHAhaHaHAHHahhaHahHAHAHAA!!!!HAhahaHA ...AHahahaAhha!!1
Alright, carry on.
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shorty
Jun 23, 2003, 11:12 PM
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Oh, I am so-o-o-o-o hurt now. Like, I'm taking my "bicycle" Petzl helmet, "bicycle" Oakley shades, Petzl Reverso, and svelte wire gate rack back to where floundering onto the belay ledge is considered a higher art form.
Back to where "I'll put a cap in your ass" doesn't involve a long neck.
Back to where "Let's do crack today" requires a glass -- not metallic -- bong (bong).
Oh that's right, I'm already back in Aurora.
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deleted
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Jun 23, 2003, 11:45 PM
Post #87 of 295
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oh, i'm sorry.
did i say something wrong? :wink:
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skibabeage
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Jun 25, 2003, 2:16 PM
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deleted
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Jun 25, 2003, 3:34 PM
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yeah, i saw that.
we're definitely getting snow in leadville tonight. GOD IS GOOD!!
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elvislegs
Jun 25, 2003, 3:41 PM
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Curse you all.
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deleted
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Jun 25, 2003, 3:49 PM
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sean --
okay, break's over! now get back to a hammerin'!
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shorty
Jun 25, 2003, 4:39 PM
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For everyone interested in Ellingwood Ridge, let's have a show of hands who's read Geo's homework assignment. Well now, not very hands out there in cyber land. In hopes of keeping the gold stars by your names, here are the Cliff Notes.
per Lou Dawson's guide
"To climb it safely you must have good technical route finding and climbing skills. Carry a rope and small amount of rock climbing hardware."
"With careful route finding all the aretes on the ridge can be skirted on the side. For more excitement try climbing several aretes. Be ready to rappel if you do so."
per Gerry Roach's guide
"The closer you stay to the ridge crest, the greater the difficulty will be. Staying directly on the ridge crest all the way is an endeavor that requires several rappels, much Class 4 climbing, some Class 5 climbing and, possibly, more than one day to complete."
My favorite line from Roach comes from his description of a few reference points along the ridge. "The view from here is discouraging." He states this more than once.
Due to the length and complexity of the Ellingwood Ridge, we need to keep the size of the team relatively small -- say no more than 6. So let's start getting the list firmed up. And remember, there's also the Class 2 northwest ridge for laplata, which is really a nice hike.
And our first lucky contestant is mtngeo (geo *@$%in' rocks!). Geo aspires to be from the manly country of Germany, which is why he prizes his poster of Wolfgang Gulich (geo must explain that one to you. I ain't goin' there.) Highlights from this Teutonic kind-of-guy include a love of panzer tanks, Mercedes-Benz, BMWs, warm dark beer, and lederhosen. His bulging rack includes nuts, hexes (aka cowbells), BD ovals, and vast quantities of pitons fashioned from any alloy worthy of his "200 pounds of steel and sex appeal." Get your tickets for the gun show before they're all gone. In his words (sorta), "Yah, I vill flex my manly biceps und krush das rock into submission like a little vimpy gurl." Only one climbing accessory mars his otherwise burly resume -- the 1980's Euro-trash fluorescent pink and yellow chalk bag.
Contestant #2 is the one and (thankfully) only shorty. Going against the tide, shorty feels France rules -- in it's own panty-waist way. For example, the Normans gave us (posters are still available!) Catherine Destiville, Isabelle Patissier (hubba, hubba), Lynn Hill (hey, she did live there for a while), and Laeticia Casta (Think Victoria's Secret. Think Sports Illustrated. Think I need a cold shower.) This is also the country that brought us Dom Perignon, the bikini, and the Porsche. Oh, that's right, the French can't build cars, so I must side with geo here. France produces great climbing toys, including the grigri, the reverso (geo uses one!), Petzl biners, and Petzl Meteor "bicycle" helmets. Shorty's climbing philosophy is you can never have too many cams, toys in the garage, or climbing shoes. Imelda Marcos is his role model. And finally, "Slabs RULE. Dude."
Snow, rain, sleet, brimstone, locusts, or whatever. Let's do this Ellingwood thing.
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Jun 25, 2003, 4:45 PM
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good GOD! i thought he'd NEVER shut up!
hey, shorty, three words for ya', pal: BITE. ME. DOOD.
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flamer
Jun 25, 2003, 7:31 PM
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Ok if I'm going I want 1 partner who is willing(and able!) to go super light and fast on this thing. I'm talking running trails, soloing and basically hauling ass! Onsight Car to car in 4-5 hours?? Any takers?? Even if it took longer it would be hell'a fun!
josh
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skibabeage
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Jun 25, 2003, 7:41 PM
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deleted
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Jun 25, 2003, 7:48 PM
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flamer --
you'd BEST get your fat @ss over here for this one! and, heeeeyy ... YOU'RE the big playboy ... bring some skirts along. climbing ability optional. :shock:
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flamer
Jun 25, 2003, 9:20 PM
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Geo,
DOOD!! Don't give me away! They can't know I'm a playboy!
I quote my buddy- "leave it to josh to bring a stripper to the ice fest!"
I'll try...if I leave denver for too long all of my women get lonely :wink:
Beside's I've been in the mood for some hippy mountain girls....
josh
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mother_sheep
Jun 25, 2003, 9:26 PM
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The testosterone in this room is cracking me up!
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deleted
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Jun 25, 2003, 10:04 PM
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yeah.
you might wanna' scrape the bottom of your shoes and wring out your socks before you leave. 8)
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bobd1953
Jun 25, 2003, 10:16 PM
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In reply to: Heralding from the Land Across the Water and representing Italy on this foray, we can thank Miss Skibs homeland for Italian shoes; the father of all Opera, Giuseppe Verdi (that’s Mean Joe Green translated); the fine arts of Michelangelo; the astronomy of Galileo; the long and lanky I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter Fabio; and the father of all mountaineering, Reinhold Messner (hey, he LIVES in northern Italy, don’t knock it). Let’s also not forget Ferraris, Maseratis, the Venetian canals, and the fact that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Italy also sports Cassin tools, Silvretta and Diamar bindings, Asolo boots, and even though the favorite après-climb feast of pizza is indubitably American, the word itself is inherently, thoroughly, Italian (rip-off A-Murricans!). And let’s not forget Stallone in Cliffhanger – how Italian upper-body can you get! In reply to: Spoken like a proud Italian! I like to add my two heroes growing-up: Joe DiMaggio (the best baseball player ever!) and the great alpinist Walter Bonatti.
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Re: Leadville Colorado Blowout!
[
