Maybe hearing that I’m a dumbass from other people will do me some good. Go for it.

From what I’ve discovered, I’m either A. going to have to give up some of my climbing time (but really, why should I give up something that I love). B. Find a guy who enjoys adventure climbing and can stand to have a female as his SO and partner from time to time. C. Give up searching and take as much happiness I can from climbing, realize I’m really lucky and stop b---- about my love life.

Mother_Sheep,

The answer is simple. Fall in love with a climbing guy. That's what I did (Mitchal) and now I have a climbing partner, training buddy, best friend and lover.

Life couldn't be sweeter.

Alternatively, find a guy that wants to learn...

Personally, I don't think you can climb all the time, be a good mother and be in a relationship with a non-climber.

The urge to climb is too strong, you are away all the time, your non clmbing SO will never understand and you are likely climbing with male climbing partners. This all adds up to a lot of frustration and unhappiness for all. (I know this because I was involved with a non-climber at the beginning of my climbing, the more obsessed I became, the more he refused to even consider learning. It was the END of our relationship)

So...how did I meet Mitchal? Through RC.COM! I was a noob looking for a climbing mentor and he stepped up. It was literally love at first site, 2.5 years later, we couldn't possibly be happier. He is involved with my kids, we have travelled the world climbing, we hit the gym together at least 2-3 times per week and we compete in local bouldering comps together. I keep pinching myself to see if I am going to wake up from this dream, I never imagined finding love again, let alone at my ripe old age.

Mother_Sheep:

Been there, done that. I did Eharmony though. I know a lot of people have had huge success with Match and Eharmony, but that was not the case with me. I think a lot of it has to do with being a bit older. I think for older (not old) women dating decent men (heck, finding decent men) is much more difficult. In sum, the pickins' are mighty slim.

I told myself when I signed up for Eharmony that I had to meet each person they suggested I meet. And I did. Both guys. Let's see, the first one - Brad - showed up and looked NOTHING like his photo. Ruddy red complexion, fat, bleached permed hair (ack). A horror. The first words out of his mouth were "wow, you look just like your photo!" I said, "shocker, huh?" We sat there at TGIF (his choice) while I listened to his excruciately boring life - how everyone has done him wrong - how he is so awesome - how his ex-wife is a b---- (word to men, don't tell dates that your ex is a wench even if she was). We never did get to anything about me. The lunch was so bad I started wishing my friends were at the bar so they could at least get a kick out of the horror of it all.

Guy 2: Keith. One of his opening statements to me was "wow, your hair has a lot of colors in it. I don't like it." Off to a good start. ha. His eyes pointed off in two directions like a chameleon and I could never figure out which one to focus on. I'm not making fun of this, but it was difficult to fein interest. The conversation was dull. I got the standard comments regarding my background and interests and lack of kids, etc. When I got back to the office I had an email from him asking me to 'rate' several aspects of the date on a scale of 0 to 10 so he could determine if there should be another. weirdo.

The third guy I was suppose to meet had the following hobbies: killing birds, stuffing birds, eating birds, hunting birds, etc. I guess we got matched since my profile said that I love birds, I raise birds, I have several birds, I bird watch, etc. You get the picture. I chose not to meet this savage.

Where are all the decent men? If you find some, please let me know too.

I'd go for plan B or C. Depends on how much routine you'll be ready to tolerate.

You are NOT a dumbass!
The men you meet who don't want to climb with you, on the other hand... :wink:

About your alternatives, I'd say go for C! If that's what YOU want! Maybe you'll get lucky and strike a B) one day. But if you don't, well at least you wont have to be sitting around feeling miserable for giving up something you love.

All the best
/J
(Sorry for answering this without being a woman, but take it for what it's worth.)

Mother Sheep,
Personally, I think that any of the 3 choices would work. B and C have been covered in other posts. I think the problem lies in the way option A is written. You can't be comfortable with option A because you don't want to sacrifice something you love, however your post is about balancing a love life a child and passion. Instead of looking at as a sacrifice, why not view it as an exchange. Its like your exchanging time with one love to find another, because you know that when you find the one that gives you balance that whatever you gave up in the process will be seen as insignificant. Then again maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic but thats my story and I'm sticking to it.

Friktion

Wow - thank you ladies for your posts. While I know I haven't met the right guy there are times when I am fine w/ being single and there are other times, I'd love so badly to share my experiences w/ a partner.

I know this post is rambling but what I've learned is that as a passionate person, you need to be with someone who is also passionate. Find someone who has a passion that equals yours for climbing: It can be for anything, biking, surfing, skiing, reading...you name it. Those are the only sorts of people who will a)be able to entertain themselves when you are out climbing b)understand your need to be there.
Hope this helps at least a little.