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dynosore
Apr 21, 2010, 4:28 PM
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His goal, is, to use more commas, than any man, in history.
funny how he's the world,s most accomplished guide but I've never heard of him, and he doesn't mention by name any of the "most technically difficult" ascents he's led.
He needs to review Christ's teachings on humbleness and honesty perhaps?
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shoo
Apr 21, 2010, 4:55 PM
Post #52 of 109
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It's pretty awesome to read in the voice of William Shatner.
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majid_sabet
Apr 21, 2010, 4:55 PM
Post #53 of 109
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I am going to sign-up for this top rope master thing cause its much better than paying becoming AMGA certified. After getting my certificate, I should have no problems getting a job at local gyms
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dingus
Apr 21, 2010, 5:06 PM
Post #54 of 109
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shoo wrote: It's pretty awesome to read in the voice of William Shatner.
Kirk, is in love, with the guide.
DMT
(This post was edited by dingus on Apr 21, 2010, 5:07 PM)
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gmggg
Apr 21, 2010, 5:50 PM
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TarHeelEMT wrote: http://twitter.com/summiter Endless amusement
No one else is impressed that he can constrain himself to 140 characters or less?
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staredge
Apr 21, 2010, 6:12 PM
Post #56 of 109
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Where's Don LaFontaine when we need him???
"In a world where untrained toprope climbers plummet off cliffs like Congressional approval ratings.......one man dares to say.......enough"
(This post was edited by staredge on Apr 21, 2010, 6:13 PM)
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dingus
Apr 21, 2010, 6:24 PM
Post #57 of 109
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I can TAKE Nancy Pelosi on a top rope by god!
DMT
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roninthorne
Apr 21, 2010, 8:07 PM
Post #58 of 109
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Same guy that wrote the Doctor Bronner's soap labels, from the sound of it....
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rschap
Apr 22, 2010, 4:27 AM
Post #59 of 109
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dynosore wrote: funny how he's the world,s most accomplished guide but I've never heard of him, and he doesn't mention by name any of the "most technically difficult" ascents he's led.
Maybe it's because he never leads he just top ropes everything.
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kylekienitz
Apr 22, 2010, 4:41 AM
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dingus wrote: shoo wrote: It's pretty awesome to read in the voice of William Shatner. Kirk, is in love, with the guide. DMT
ha. 
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MS1
Apr 22, 2010, 11:48 AM
Post #61 of 109
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dingus wrote: shoo wrote: It's pretty awesome to read in the voice of William Shatner. Kirk, is in love, with the guide. DMT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HU2ftCitvyQ
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staredge
Apr 22, 2010, 12:10 PM
Post #62 of 109
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Dear God......that is.....just...........AWESOME!!!!!!!!!
roflmao
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johnwesely
Apr 22, 2010, 12:28 PM
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I think it would be appropriate for someone with some Xtranormal skills to put together a video featuring Ebert's best quotes. I would do it, but mine wouldn't be funny in the least.
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cracklover
Apr 22, 2010, 4:16 PM
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Another fun quote from the site: "We do not take lightly any top rope skill, especially anchor systems, considering over 50% of all top rope anchor systems used for top rope climbing and rappelling in all of the Nation’s top rope areas, are unsafe. "
???
G
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bill413
Apr 22, 2010, 5:15 PM
Post #65 of 109
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cracklover wrote: Another fun quote from the site: "We do not take lightly any top rope skill, especially anchor systems, considering over 50% of all top rope anchor systems used for top rope climbing and rappelling in all of the Nation’s top rope areas, are unsafe. " ??? G
Yep. There's way more grass than trees to anchor to, so if you just look at all possible anchors, without regard for safety, far mare than 50% will be unsafe.
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markc
Apr 22, 2010, 6:09 PM
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Here's his justification for the length of the course:
In reply to: Many of Jim’s 3,600 course graduates were still making deadly/fatal mistakes with their anchor systems, three days into his National Top Rope Instructor Certification Course, and this involved people who had been climbing outdoors for four or more years.
If his teaching delivery is as overblown as his writing, it's little wonder he takes 7 days to cover top-roping. Actually teaching leading would take him years.
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dingus
Apr 22, 2010, 6:22 PM
Post #67 of 109
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markc wrote: Here's his justification for the length of the course: In reply to: Many of Jim’s 3,600 course graduates were still making deadly/fatal mistakes with their anchor systems, three days into his National Top Rope Instructor Certification Course, and this involved people who had been climbing outdoors for four or more years. If his teaching delivery is as overblown as his writing, it's little wonder he takes 7 days to cover top-roping. Actually teaching leading would take him years.
Damn, MANY of his 3,600 students DIED THREE DAYS INTO HIS COURSE!
Holy shit.
Where as humble me... I never had a single top rope student die while top roping, during class OR after! Not one!
I MUST BE THE GRRRRRREATEST GUIIIIIIIDE IN THE WOOOOOORRRRRLLLLLLDDDDDDDD!!!!111111
DMT
(This post was edited by dingus on Apr 22, 2010, 6:23 PM)
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jt512
Apr 22, 2010, 6:33 PM
Post #68 of 109
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dingus wrote: markc wrote: Here's his justification for the length of the course: In reply to: Many of Jim’s 3,600 course graduates were still making deadly/fatal mistakes with their anchor systems, three days into his National Top Rope Instructor Certification Course, and this involved people who had been climbing outdoors for four or more years. If his teaching delivery is as overblown as his writing, it's little wonder he takes 7 days to cover top-roping. Actually teaching leading would take him years. Damn, MANY of his 3,600 students DIED THREE DAYS INTO HIS COURSE!
Probably of boredom.
Jay
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dingus
Apr 22, 2010, 6:56 PM
Post #69 of 109
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jt512 wrote: dingus wrote: markc wrote: Here's his justification for the length of the course: In reply to: Many of Jim’s 3,600 course graduates were still making deadly/fatal mistakes with their anchor systems, three days into his National Top Rope Instructor Certification Course, and this involved people who had been climbing outdoors for four or more years. If his teaching delivery is as overblown as his writing, it's little wonder he takes 7 days to cover top-roping. Actually teaching leading would take him years. Damn, MANY of his 3,600 students DIED THREE DAYS INTO HIS COURSE! Probably of boredom. Jay
You'd think by day 3 the death rate would begin to decline.... simple supply and demand!
DMT
(This post was edited by dingus on Apr 22, 2010, 6:56 PM)
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swoopee
Apr 22, 2010, 7:08 PM
Post #70 of 109
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Nooooo!!! Now it's stuck in my head.
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dingus
Apr 22, 2010, 7:13 PM
Post #71 of 109
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swoopee wrote: Nooooo!!! Now it's stuck in my head.
You have Kirk in your head why is Kirk in your head?
You have Kirk in your head why is Kirk in your head?
You have Kirk in your head why is Kirk in your head?
Because you LOVE KIRK. You want to M-brace Krik, N-vellop Kirk.
You have Kirk in your head why is Kirk in your head?
You have Kirk in your head why is Kirk in your head?
You have Kirk in your head why is Kirk in your head?
Love Kirk.
DMT
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shoo
Apr 22, 2010, 7:59 PM
Post #72 of 109
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Registered: Dec 22, 2006
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Interestingly enough, this is the second time I've made that comment regarding ridiculous writing on this site, both times with nearly identical results.
And yes, that video is amazing.
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j_ung
Apr 22, 2010, 8:28 PM
Post #73 of 109
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jt512 wrote: USnavy wrote: http://www.topropecertification.com/Course_Overview.html "It is designed to show each top rope instructor how to totally eliminate the numerous risks and errors that have already claimed the lives of top rope climbers in every top rope climbing area around the country."If I had to pick a single sentence to characterize that web site, I think it would be this one: Jim Ebert wrote: For over 43 years, I and my assistant climbing leaders, have been taking, what would eventually tally, more people than anyone else in the World, into more outdoor mountain regions in eleven mountain states and to seventeen Alpine countries throughout the world, involving 58,928 participants, averaging 10 days per each participant, and guiding over 68,192 people to 1,330 of the World’s most famous and most technical mountain summits, which is more people to more technical mountain summits (1,330 technical mountains) located in more Western Mountain States (11 Mountain States) and in more (17) Alpine countries than any other mountain guide, climbing school, guide service, mountaineering club in the world, combined, 1967-1996. Jay
Yeah, but I bet it's really only 68,193 people.
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markc
Apr 22, 2010, 8:45 PM
Post #74 of 109
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jt512 wrote: dingus wrote: markc wrote: Here's his justification for the length of the course: In reply to: Many of Jim’s 3,600 course graduates were still making deadly/fatal mistakes with their anchor systems, three days into his National Top Rope Instructor Certification Course, and this involved people who had been climbing outdoors for four or more years. If his teaching delivery is as overblown as his writing, it's little wonder he takes 7 days to cover top-roping. Actually teaching leading would take him years. Damn, MANY of his 3,600 students DIED THREE DAYS INTO HIS COURSE! Probably of boredom. Jay
He goes on to assure us that all errors were caught before their anchor systems were loaded. His clients were cursing under their breaths. I'd guess most were begging for sweet release on the first day.
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staredge
Apr 22, 2010, 9:48 PM
Post #75 of 109
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Hoping he wouldn't notice.
So.....how long does it take him to update his bio after every class? I mean, if it were me....I'd put something like "over 58,000 people" rather than an exact number.
Of course, he might just like reading his bio over & over again.
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