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sogwap7
Sep 9, 2005, 7:18 PM
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Dear Dr. Noob,
Some time ago I posted a query and it went unanswered. I can only suppose this is a mistake because you haven't exactly ignored any question ever, and I've read all 37 pages. The only thing I could think of was that there was some mistake and with the move you must have missed it by accident. So rather than loose hope or think for some reason that my question wasn't worth answering I'll just re post it and hope to get an answer back.
Thanks for your help.
Steve, Not loosing hope yet, Blacksmith.
Mr. Noob
First of all I would just like to join the others in thanking you for your tireless efforts in educating the n00bs. The fact that you have taken it upon yourself to spell out so clearly the subtleties of climbing just shows your compassion to the masses. If it weren't for you how would i know that as a boulderer my grades are being held back so much by mearly wearing a t-shirt, and wearing a baseball hat instead of a beanie. No one at my local gym mentioned that valuable piece of information to me, it was you. How else would i know that to even take interest in sport climbing that i would need to invest my life savings in totally UV spandies and mousse? (that's another valuable piece of information that no one mentioned). So n00b......*sniffle sniffle*....*mild weeping*..............*violent weeping*........YOUR THE MAN!
*deep breaths* ok sorry for that.... now.....errr.....ok...... just give me a second to compose myself.........ok on to the question at hand.
In the recent weeks I have been so thoroughly captivated by the thread and ham sammys that I've completely transformed into a trad climber. And i didn't even realize it was happening. Now I'm ok with this cause i get to buy shiny widgets and doo-ma-hicky's. However I recently just got married and really have no money to start a trad rack so i was wondering if the nuts i made would work until i have enough to really buy the real thing. Under any normal circumstance i would just accrue 10 life times of debt but due to my new wife not standing for debt i cant do that. So below i have a link to a picture of some nuts that I made, if you could just take a look and let me know what you think that would be great.
thanks alot!
your wisdom changes lives.
http://www.geocities.com/dalhism.geo/random.html
Steve "check me out honey I'm tradding" blacksmith
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rabbit1
Sep 9, 2005, 8:47 PM
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You better get a patent on those things before you go show'n em around!
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zao479
Sep 10, 2005, 5:22 PM
Post #553 of 977
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Last year there was a story about Dominican baseball players, and how they would pee on their hands in the shower. Urea is used in salons to toughen hands and feet so that they won't peal, blister, or callas.
My question comes in two parts:
1.Will this work for climbing?
2.How long do I have to wait to eat my ham sandwich?
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subtle
Sep 10, 2005, 7:21 PM
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In reply to: So below i have a link to a picture of some nuts that I made, if you could just take a look and let me know what you think that would be great. thanks alot! your wisdom changes lives. http://www.geocities.com/dalhism.geo/random.html
Hmmm...I was totally going to claim that you were obviously the reincarnation of Yvonne Chouinard, bro...except I think he's still alive, which raises some troubling Back To The Future related time/space continuum issues. Better get yourself a DeLorean and a wacky scientist sidekick, just in case...you can't be too careful...and speaking of careful...
That's some sweet gear, broham. Not since Yvonne, Royal Robbins and Layton Kor sawed pieces off the...ummm, er...Eiffel Tower or something...to make wierd sounding gear like bongs, RURPs, florts and...snizwas...has there been such an inspired usage of inappropriate materials for the trivial task of keeping you alive when you ditch. I can't tell from the photo if you have rigged your pro with nano-cordalette...ie, ahhh, string...or load limiting micro-screamer rubber bands. A combination of both should round out your rack nicely. I'd double up on the 1/4" through 2" binder clips...in case you hit a sketchy inter-cubicle crack system near the xerox machine and want to sew it up before punching to the anchors. I assume you're going to use the new Office Max wiregate paperclip draws...they have a huge weight advantage over solid crabs, and a box of 100 costs like $2.99.
Leaving you more money for Ham Sandwiches...
Allez. Who am I the reincarnation of...Hmmmm. Homard.
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4togo
Sep 11, 2005, 8:04 AM
Post #555 of 977
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Registered: May 29, 2005
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Ask the NOOB has changed my life!
Friday was very rainy here, so I ended up bouldering in the gym, working on a non-rated problem. Items without price tags are free and problems without ratings are automatically "V-Monkey", right?
Anyway, we're all falling off this problem at the same place, 4 or 5 moves in... so imagine my surprise when I am executing the first few moves which we have all done umpteen-twenty times. I get off the ground and hear behind me: "YEAH!" Every single easy move, that we all know we can all do is greeted with a new bellow. "YOU GOT IT!" "STICK IT!" and so forth. Until the crux (do boulder problems have cruxes?) at which point the voice is oddly silent as I peel off the wall and bounce around on the floor a few times.
Now, normally this sort of thing might be a traumatic experience, leading to crippling paranoia about boulderers tiptoeing up and letting loose with unexpected hollers of "STICK IT!!! YEAH!" while I am making the opening moves on roped climbs; but thanks to Ask the NOOB I now know what really happened, and why.
In reply to: You think Klem Loskot endlessly screaming KAMAAAAAAN! DOOO EEET! KAMMMAAAAAN! at Chris Sharma in Dosage 2 was mere pimp-to-pimp encouragement?!? Hell no, holmes, he was training.
Thank you NOOB!
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shanz
Sep 11, 2005, 8:38 AM
Post #556 of 977
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Registered: May 18, 2004
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Why dont people add ashtrays and beer holders on the sides of climbs ill never get past the 9's if i cant keep from splling my beer
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dirtineye
Sep 11, 2005, 11:58 AM
Post #557 of 977
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Registered: Mar 29, 2003
Posts: 5590
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IT just keeps getting better-- this might be my latest favorite, among many:
In reply to: ...your highly rational desire to look out at the world from a personal portable powder pile...
You're giving John Long a run for his wordsmithing, you left dingus in the dust a long time ago, damn, subtle you're on a roll... probably a big fat yeast roll, but still, a hell of a roll.
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subtle
Sep 12, 2005, 1:43 AM
Post #558 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438
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Two general programming notes:
I try to answer your questions as fast as I can, and in the order submitted...but I often find that I have nothing worthwhile to say, so things can get a little delayed. For particularly good questions, I tend to wait until I have a worthy reply. For you Ask The NOOB aficionados, note that I have not yet answered Feral Raccoon's inquiry about the Purple Way.
I will, though...someday.
I will be away from my computer...and couch, nooooo!...for a few days. As always, keep asking questions and I'll work through them when I return.
Out of order. Late.
Allez. Wonder if I can get rc.com on a Blackberry. Homard.
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k2glfpro
Sep 12, 2005, 3:41 AM
Post #559 of 977
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Registered: Aug 4, 2005
Posts: 5
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What does allez mean? Wasn't there an oil spill there?
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dunn
Sep 12, 2005, 4:11 AM
Post #560 of 977
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Registered: May 19, 2005
Posts: 3
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You guys are fucking morons, why waste you time with stupid shit like this. grow up.
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devonick
Sep 12, 2005, 4:23 AM
Post #561 of 977
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Registered: Aug 24, 2005
Posts: 298
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you call us morons and yet your here,
what was the saying again,
those who live in glass houses shouldnt throw stones
if you dont think its worth it then dont come here makes sense to me
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paulc
Sep 12, 2005, 4:35 AM
Post #562 of 977
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Registered: Jul 25, 2001
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In reply to: You guys are f---ing morons, why waste you time with stupid s--- like this. grow up.
I tell you what. When you get a sense of humour and some better grammer we might think what you have to say will be this interesting.
Until then piss off.
Paul
PS I'm Canadian, can I use Canadian bacon interchangably with ham for my sammys or will that cause a crazy reaction whereby I ditch my "hardcore" trad climbing for long uphill, bush-thrash approaches followed by 3 pitches of 5.3+ choss (otherwise known as Northwest coast alpine)?
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k2glfpro
Sep 12, 2005, 5:03 AM
Post #563 of 977
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Posts: 5
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In reply to: You guys are f---ing morons, why waste you time with stupid s--- like this. grow up.
Me got well grammar :!:
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cosmiccragsman
Sep 12, 2005, 5:38 AM
Post #564 of 977
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Registered: Apr 7, 2005
Posts: 778
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Dear NOOB;
How do you tell a Member who has only one post since he joined
in May,(Dunn)politely to STFU if he can't be civil. Maybe he should join a Monastary if he want's to be so serious. Or, start his own website where him and all his badass friends(see his profile) can hang out, and get off our site.
Keep up the good work Mr. NOOB! 99.99999% of the Members love your
columns.
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superbum
Sep 12, 2005, 6:22 AM
Post #565 of 977
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Registered: Sep 19, 2002
Posts: 822
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Deer noob,
What time is it?
Vic...
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swimming_dragon
Sep 12, 2005, 6:23 AM
Post #566 of 977
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Registered: Mar 4, 2005
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In reply to: You guys are f---ing morons, why waste you time with stupid s--- like this. grow up.
when all's said and dunn, you need to scuttle back to your keller**
and STAY THERE.
Oh, and by the way, STFU!
**keller= german for 'basement' - AND its where you live, Wow, what a coincidence :wink:
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dirtineye
Sep 12, 2005, 6:26 AM
Post #567 of 977
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Registered: Mar 29, 2003
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In reply to: In reply to: You guys are f---ing morons, why waste you time with stupid s--- like this. grow up. when all's said and dunn, you need to scuttle back to your keller** and STAY THERE. Oh, and by the way, STFU! **keller= german for 'basement' - AND its where you live, Wow, what a coincidence :wink:
HAHA it's pretty clear he lives in the WRATH's keller.
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cosmiccragsman
Sep 12, 2005, 7:04 AM
Post #568 of 977
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Good one Dirtineye!!!
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rabbit1
Sep 12, 2005, 12:24 PM
Post #569 of 977
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Registered: Jul 24, 2005
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Dear Mr. NOOB,
What is the difference between a moron and a fuc#ing moron?
Also, what does "waste you time " mean?
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viacontinuum
Sep 13, 2005, 6:49 AM
Post #570 of 977
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Registered: Feb 9, 2005
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alright, Mr. n00b, i think i got one. nice and easy, maybe a warm up question for when you get back from, uh... wherever you went...
my friend and i were bouldering at the gym, on this futuristic, insane V-FUN problem (yeah i know, apparently it was so hard they had to use LETTER GRADES), and we got into an argument about what category these particular holds fall under.
while i was pretty confident they were called "knife edges", my friend was sure they were called "ultra-micro crimps". this got me thinking... what's the smallest, thinnest, most unholdable kind of hold? is it the ultra-micro crimp, or the knife edge, or is there some other, magical, mystical kind of hold that you can only get, like, maybe 1 and a half hands in? i know it sounds unbelievable, but i've heard rumors...
anyway, now that i think about it, i doubt there even is an answer. i think this a contender for the unanswerable question. so, uh, good luck with this one; might wanna warm up on a few easier questions before you try to tackle this monstrosity.
peace out, yo
(i say things like "peace out" and "yo" now, cuz they help me pull down harder. i think it's working. and i'm sure that problem we were working at the gym was sandbagged--it felt at least V-FUN+.)
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gamehendge
Sep 13, 2005, 7:42 AM
Post #571 of 977
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Registered: Jun 2, 2004
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you troll waste me time i dunn soiled one self :(....
pleeesee dear subtle, keep keep keep gracing us w/ your infinite wisdoms.
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subtle
Sep 14, 2005, 11:34 PM
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In reply to: Last year there was a story about Dominican baseball players, and how they would pee on their hands in the shower. Urea is used in salons to toughen hands and feet so that they won't peal, blister, or callas. My question comes in two parts: 1.Will this work for climbing? 2.How long do I have to wait to eat my ham sandwich?
Well, I can truthfully say I totally didn't see this one coming...and I somehow suspect that Mountaineering - Freedom of the Hills isn't going to bail me out, either...hmmmm...
After several seconds of highly unfocused contemplation...I'm thinking that peeing on your hands is not going to help you get your send on...for any number of reasons. In this case, any number happens to be five:
1. It's just one more thing you have to do before you leave the ground. Shoes good...check. Harness doubled back...check. Knot...check. Urine drenched hands...check?
2. It totally interferes with your chalk mojo. If you chalk then pee up, you have to re-chalk. If you pee then chalk up, you'll end up with a handful of whiz mud. Nobody likes whiz mud, bro. Plus, you'll probably have to carry some sort of leakproof tinkle bag up the route, so you can re-pee your hands when they...ummm...stop being really gross. Yeah, that's it.
3. Filthy dirty people who eat four day-old bread and live under their vans will look at you and go "Man, that's just not sanitary...whoa...seriously...don't touch my stuff, yo."
4. You're going to need to buy a dry treated rope. Really, really dry treated.
5. You will set new standards for being the guy least likely to get laid at crags worldwide. And those standards are already pretty darn high, bro. When your boulderer friends start feeling sorry for you, it's time to buy some handi-wipes and stop the madness.
Now, regarding question #2...no need to wait...stick clip your sammy and get your eat on. This will also help you share with your friends, who for some reason may be sitting kinda far away from you.
Allez. Sure you can have a sip of my gatorade...wait, I don't have any gatorade...noooooo! Homard.
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sactownclimber
Sep 14, 2005, 11:44 PM
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In reply to: Well, I can truthfully say I totally didn't see this one coming... . . . climbing blah blah piss blah blah chalk mojo blah blah . . . Allez. Sure you can have a sip of my gatorade...wait, I don't have any gatorade...noooooo! Homard.
You get a gold trophy today, O Great nOOb. One of your wisest - er, funnier - posts in recent memory!
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zao479
Sep 15, 2005, 11:21 PM
Post #574 of 977
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Registered: Aug 20, 2005
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Thank for the life lessons. Lately I have noticed that all my climbing buddies are all too busy to climb, and the local boulderers were showering. Apparently what I though was an apocalyptic sign, was simply a reaction to my own rank nastiness.
I'll consider your wise council, but I must admit that it is nice to having the rock to myself. Not to mention I have almost mastered the art of the solo send.
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subtle
Sep 16, 2005, 12:51 AM
Post #575 of 977
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In reply to: Why dont people add ashtrays and beer holders on the sides of climbs ill never get past the 9's if i cant keep from splling my beer
Ahhh, kids these days...
There is a rad picture of a old-skool rockstar named John Sherman drinking a beer midway through some sort of radge ish desperate solo on an ultra mega classic line. Granted, the photo is a total fake...if you squint hard you can see the Loch Ness monster spotting him in the background...but let's not let reality get in the way of a reasonably useful anecdote, yo. Sherman is the OG bouldering pimp and more or less invented Hueco Tanks, actually did invent the V-Scale for grading problems...and totally would have starred in a bunch of bouldering videos, except the market for grainy black and white 16mm footage of a guy with Converse All-Stars and a hideous mullet hiking B2 problems is limited to...pretty much...me.
If that isn't enough, direct your attention the the more au courant The Life. Please note the freak job spotting Dave Graham on Maze of Death...he's got his boy covered with a beer in one hand and a smoke in the other. Now that's multi-tasking...and damn fine motivation not to fall off the proj.
See you on the 5.9+ top rope near the soda machine...
Allez. Watch me close, Nessie. Homard.
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