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subtle
Jan 11, 2006, 1:19 AM
Post #701 of 977
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In reply to: My question is one of balance. I hear many say that to truly reach your potential as a climber you should practice all types. Once I get my new rack set per your descriptions, how do I rack it all and still have room for 10 sport draws, my really undersized downturned slippers, a beanie, a mattress and a ham sandwich?
Pssssh, why do you ask when you already know the answer? That is my question...which I will answer later...and make fun of myself, I expect.
To recap, how are you going to carry 96 nuts, 112 cams and 283 Aliens, as well as a crashpad, draws, shoes, beanie, more shoes, a ham sandie, some more shoes, a stick clip, a bubba brush, guidebooks, 4 rolls of tape, an extra pair of shoes and 5lbs of chalk on the 45 minute straight vertical scramble to the Hinterlands...and the answer is right in front of you. Actually, it's probably all around you.
Your posse, bro...The Mass Climbers.
For those of you not from New England, direct your attention to the East Coast partners forum and cast your eye on The MASS CLIMBERS Thread...all 48,748,754 pages of it. Do what everyone else does, look at page 1 assuming that it must be...I dunno...John Quincy Adams or Vasco de Gama trying to put together a road trip to this dope area called The New World because he heard there were some sick projects. Sadly, this is not the case. You will, however, meet orangekyak, jakedatc, cracklover, robbvious, wideguy and a plethora of chowder-swilling locals with MassClimbers4Lyfe tattoos and a penchant for tri-state choss-hiking sprees and compulsive trip report generation. Big deal, you say. So what, you think. Well, I've climbed all over the place...and I've seen stronger locals...and I've seen harder-core locals...but I've never seen more close-knit local locals...umm...on the internet. You need someone to sherpa your stuff to the proj, Wideguy? Post up my brother, they've totally got your back.
Wideguy: I need to carry 500lbs of gear up to the top of Rumney. It's going to be 95 and humid.
Jakedatc: I'm in.
Cracklover: Me too.
Orangekyak: I'll drive.
Wideguy: I'm in too. Oh wait, it's my trip.
Robbvious: I'm in, but only if I can carry some heavy trad gear and the bugs are bad.
Jakedatc: They will be. Zeb said they were.
Robbvious: Sweet!
Wideguy: You guys want to get a beer first and play on my home wall?
Orangekyak: Ok. I'll bring my home wall over, too.
Wideguy: When do you want to come over?
Cracklover: I'm already here. I'm sitting on the couch next to you.
Jakedatc: Me too.
Wideguy: Sweet. What are you guys doing?
Cacklover: Writing a trip report about our trip to Rumney.
Jakedatc: Me too.
Wideguy: But we haven't gone yet.
Orangekyak: I need to post my pictures, too.
Go to Page Previous 1,2,3...,1135, 1136, 1137 Next
Allez. MassClimbers4Lyfe. Homard.
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robbovius
Jan 11, 2006, 3:57 PM
Post #702 of 977
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Oh my GO_WAD, that is FUCKING HILARIOUS! Look at me , I'm crying!
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subtle
Jan 13, 2006, 12:50 AM
Post #704 of 977
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In reply to: Im going to be buying a house and ive chosen between two styles. A nice big 3 bedroom ranch style with a basement, or an "A" frame house thats 2.5 stories high. So heres my problem i cant decide which cause since one day i want to be able to call myself a solid 5.9 climber (i can dream can't i?). should i buy the ranch style house and cut the floors out of two of the bedrooms and build my own climbing wall with multiple angles with walls i build myself. I would be more like a boulderer with this or just by the 2.5 story "A" with a 45 degree overhand and just install a belay station right next to the bathroom so i dont have to carry a container. i would be more like a big wall climber this way
You raise a fascinating question, one that is long overdue for deep ponderation...and I am just the guy for the job...I bet I can even do it while watching AutoRoute. Spot me close just in case, yo...
Ok, here's the crux of the problem...most of the time you're going to look for a house that really makes you feel comfortable, where you can feel at home. This is the worst thing you can do, brah...you'll never progress as a climber if you keep playing to your strengths and never develop any of your weaknesses. If you like pumpy enduro-routes, buy the 45 degree A-frame, nail some sick slopers to the wall and boulder your way to a V12...errr, P12, I guess...flash and a phat chalk sponsorship. If you get blown out after three moves, get a mini-mansion and start setting 50 move traverses into juggy spiral-staircase pump-fests. If you're afraid of heights, lease a condo downtown and jumar up the side instead of taking the stairs. Be careful setting up your portaledge in front of apartments with no curtains, though...being arrested for peeping is bad, but getting caught reading Urban Climber by the horrified tennant is way worse.
Allez. I don't read the articles, I just buy it for the pictures. Honest! Homard.
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oldtradman
Jan 13, 2006, 3:37 AM
Post #705 of 977
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Dear Oracle of n00b,
I was at the gym and overheard some kids talking about the Charmin' guy and what a strong climber he is. This really surprised me; Mr. Wipple just doesn't look like he has it in him.
What's the scoop?
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subtle
Jan 20, 2006, 12:34 AM
Post #706 of 977
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In reply to: I am climbing at the gym and noticed my harness was different from everyone elses. I have a waist belt buckle, like they do, but no buckles on my leg loops. They make a circle, but no buckles. Did my buckles fall off? Is my harness still safe? Please answer quickly because I am at the top of the wall unwilling to commit my weight to the rope until I know (emailed this from my cell phone). Dude .... I am pumping out here
...ummm, on the off chance you haven't fallen to your death yet...let me get right on this one.
There's all kinds of harnesses, you see, and the one thing that they have in common is that they attach your rope to you in some allegedly safe fashion...in theory. I mean, you can totally make one out of a bunch of webbing and some...paper clips...or something...I think there's a diagram in Mountaineering - Freedom of the Hills. If you happen to have your copy with you at the top of the route, feel free to look it up...I'll wait. If you're really Old Skool, you may be wearing a Swami belt...which I think is a bunch of duct tape wound around your midsection with the rope kinda securely fastened with...umm, more tape...on there somewhere. If that's the case, the other two loops are for holding your Uriah Heap 8-tracks and your pet rock, obviously.
Another useful method is to check the price tag that's probably dangling from one of the gear loops. If it's like $397.77, you can totally relax...anything that expensive has to be good, right? It probably has air bags and anti-gravity flux capacitors and whatnot. Just push the OnStar button and explain that you're pumped out at the crux and need a...towtruck...and...ok, nevermind.
If you happen to check the price tag and it says XTREME SURPLUS CLOSEOUT - Climbering Strap for Rock - $8.99...well...it was nice knowing you, brah. Too bad you didn't bring any paper clips.
Oh, one other thing...you did remember to check your knot, no? If not, see a couple of posts ago for some useful safety advice you can use when you are re-incarnated as a trad climber.
Allez. I hope you're not dead. Homard.
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rockguide
Jan 20, 2006, 2:15 AM
Post #707 of 977
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In reply to: Allez. I hope you're not dead. Homard.
Thanks for the answer - I held on all this time, through an epic pump, because of advice I took from another post.
Yes, the creatine is good.
Brian
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shanz
Jan 22, 2006, 7:01 PM
Post #708 of 977
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Was too much of a decision for me i decided to save the money buy a tent and dirtbag it at the local crag - who wants a house anyway
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booger
Jan 23, 2006, 3:26 PM
Post #709 of 977
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Hello Noob,
I've decided to trade in my current car for a Love Hut (some kind of climbing-person house-on-wheels). Here's the tricky part... I'm a hybrid: I boulder, I climb sport, I climb trad. Okay, I meant mutant. What is the right kind of bus to cover all of my lifestyle needs? I'll need plenty of fridge space for Red Bull, somewhere to hang my sweaty spandex so it doesn't get hair mousse on it, and of course some gear-separation bins for my 600+ kg rack. Please help, as I want to make sure all the other cars on the road know I'm a climber, not some sort of Grateful Dead revivalist (not that they ever toured Europe)... does that mean I can't get a Volkswagon?
Boy, I'm glad I didn't take up Aid climbing!
Taz
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cchildre
Jan 23, 2006, 5:19 PM
Post #710 of 977
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Forgive me Noob!
If this has been covered in the first 56 pages of posts already. I just wanted you opinion of my plans to elevate my on sighting 5.14.
First, I have watched 'Cliffhanger' 50 times, interspercesed with a few 'Vertical Limit'-'s and David Lee Roths " "Stranger Than Paradise". I have never tied a knot just yet but I think I am ready to head to YOS and solo the Nose. I paid some neighborhood kids to ride in my trunk of my car up to the valley to be my "Sherpas" but I can only fit seven in there meaing I will still carry half of my 150' rack. Wait....Stallone never used a rope! So can I scratch the kids in the trunk and just take my rope and harness just in case I need to tyro to another pinnacle....off the nose. Do I need to take some gear? Should I watch another movie like 'Alive'....they climbed eating human jerky! Ohhh...and I want to do a one armed pinky pull up....how do I get that strong?
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subtle
Jan 24, 2006, 3:09 AM
Post #711 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438
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In reply to: I've decided to trade in my current car for a Love Hut (some kind of climbing-person house-on-wheels). Here's the tricky part... I'm a hybrid: I boulder, I climb sport, I climb trad. Okay, I meant mutant. What is the right kind of bus to cover all of my lifestyle needs? I'll need plenty of fridge space for Red Bull, somewhere to hang my sweaty spandex so it doesn't get hair mousse on it, and of course some gear-separation bins for my 600+ kg rack. Please help, as I want to make sure all the other cars on the road know I'm a climber, not some sort of Grateful Dead revivalist (not that they ever toured Europe)... does that mean I can't get a Volkswagon? Boy, I'm glad I didn't take up Aid climbing!
Hmmmm, now for most people, this would be an easy answer. I'd go blah, blah, blah pimp, blah blah blah, yo!...for a couple of sentences, then tell you to go buy a Westfalia van with a built in mini-fridge like everybody else. Then, and here's the tricky part, you give it some kinda cutesy name...like The Butter Wagon...to differentiate it from the Land O' Flaker, the Kool Whipper and the Crisco Crimper, all of which are lined up in the dairy aisle in the parking lot at the Happy Boulders.
But you, my dear girldrifter, are far more stylish than that.
I considered a number of things. An ambulance...a hearse...an ice cream truck. All had pluses and minuses...but none of them was right, y'know. Then, it hit me.
A parade float.
Want to stand out in a crowd of sterilized, homogenized off-taupe 'burb beaters? Try rolling up in a 40 foot long yellow and black bumblebee covered in two-week old flowers, trailing a leftover prom queen and half a marching band...now that's some dope steeze, yo. Then, you skid your land yacht...complete with giant banner reading YEAH BEEOTCH! made of lemons, or something...to a stop right on top of some North Face wearing gumb with $200 approach shoes. Jump out in a kilt, a pair of Dragons and a flaming Viking helmet and yell "Which way to the V11, I need to warm up, yo!"
I'd be impressed, no doubt about it. I'd also pee on myself.
Allez. BZzzzzZZzzzz. Homard.
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tradrenn
Jan 24, 2006, 3:30 AM
Post #712 of 977
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Registered: Jan 16, 2005
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Dear Noob
I would like to have a climbing girlfriend. For that reason I climb sport and trad and I even started to boulder and I still have no takers, so I was just wandering if I should get a d--k extender like BMW or BENZ ?
Please help me.
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lewisiarediviva
Jan 24, 2006, 3:42 AM
Post #713 of 977
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In reply to: Try rolling up in a 40 foot long yellow and black bumblebee covered in two-week old flowers, trailing a leftover prom queen and half a marching band....
Oh wise Sage, we humbly meditate upon your beautiful words of wisdom.
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subtle
Jan 26, 2006, 3:18 AM
Post #714 of 977
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In reply to: I would like to have a climbing girlfriend. For that reason I climb sport and trad and I even started to boulder and I still have no takers, so I was just wandering if I should get a d--k extender like BMW or BENZ ?
Bro, this is your lucky day...for real.
Had you not posted this question, you'd probably be down at the local UberBahn AutoFunkenKraft dealership taking out a $96,000 loan at 19% for a black-on-black BMW M5. A fine ride, by any measure, but there's just one little problem...climbers hate nice cars. Hate them, I tell you. Why? Well, there's all sorts of reasons...it's an individualistic sport, y'know. Be on the lookout for the following, though:
The Playa Hater - His mildly pimped Corrolla was the dope steeze until your exhaust melted his plastic spinner hubcaps. Will look at you with scathing loathing and probably almost key your car...totally almost.
The Earth Mother - Your car uses enough gasoline in a day to feed a third-world village for 763 years...or...errr, something like that. Drives a hybrid solar/biodiesel Westfalia van and smells like patchouli, burning insulation and fryolater oil. Won't say much, but will mutter 'despoiler, despoiler' as you walk by.
The Righeous Indignant - Your car is a symbol of everything that is wrong in the country...the world...and the universe. Darth Vader built your car out of baby seal bones in hell. He'd totally give you a talking to, if he didn't have issues with interpersonal conflict.
The bottom line is this...I don't know who's going to do it...but it's a dead certain lock that someone is going to be setting your car on fire as you do battle with the third bolt of your 5.7- proj. Then, just as the first tears roll down your cheek...a giant bumblebee will pull up next to you and Girldrifter will jump out yelling "Who's making hot dogs? I love barbecue!"
So..yeah...a BMW will help you meet women. And get laughed at by them.
Allez. I like my burger medium, please. Homard.
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subtle
Feb 1, 2006, 12:30 AM
Post #715 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
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In reply to: Forgive me Noob! If this has been covered in the first 56 pages of posts already. I just wanted you opinion of my plans to elevate my on sighting 5.14. First, I have watched 'Cliffhanger' 50 times, interspercesed with a few 'Vertical Limit'-'s and David Lee Roths " "Stranger Than Paradise". I have never tied a knot just yet but I think I am ready to head to YOS and solo the Nose. I paid some neighborhood kids to ride in my trunk of my car up to the valley to be my "Sherpas" but I can only fit seven in there meaing I will still carry half of my 150' rack. Wait....Stallone never used a rope! So can I scratch the kids in the trunk and just take my rope and harness just in case I need to tyro to another pinnacle....off the nose. Do I need to take some gear? Should I watch another movie like 'Alive'....they climbed eating human jerky! Ohhh...and I want to do a one armed pinky pull up....how do I get that strong?
Ummm...ok...I forgive you. Was that creepy for anyone else? Yeah, I thought so...
You are truly a man of many questions, none of which I am remotely qualified to answer...save one. Should I watch another movie like 'Alive'. If you're the sort of person who likes to warm up for a bouldering sesh with the Extreme Ankle Fractures - Volume IV DVD...or perhaps re-read the failure specs on your rope and cams before going trad climbing...then by all means go ahead. I know nothing gets me psyched to send more than being graphically reminded of the hideous life-changing consequences of minor failure while climbing. You know what makes a dope snack while watching Alive...some beef jerky...and snowmelt. I like to eat mine out of a sweater for extra realism.
'Allez' is actually French for We'll Eat You First if Things Go Bad. Not many people know that.
Allez. Yeah, you. Homard.
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karina
Feb 1, 2006, 8:35 PM
Post #716 of 977
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Hey Noob,
I need you advice. I'm a newly single climbing (sport, if it's relevant) girl.
I've been exploring my dating options. My first thought was to pick through the assortment of choices amongst the local climbing crowd. There is a beneficial girl to boy ratio. My dilemma is what type of climber to go for. The boulderers are pretty hot, sending projects with their shirts off. Sport climbers...the obvious benefit of having a combo boyfriend/climbing partner. And then there's the trad bunch...who also have a certain "je ne sais quoi" about them.
Please provide me with some insight on this matter.
Thanks
K.
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nevenneve
Feb 5, 2006, 3:08 AM
Post #717 of 977
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In reply to: Dear Noob I would like to have a climbing girlfriend. For that reason I climb sport and trad and I even started to boulder and I still have no takers, so I was just wandering if I should get Karina a BMW or BENZ ? Please help me. |
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subtle
Feb 7, 2006, 1:32 AM
Post #718 of 977
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Registered: Sep 17, 2004
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In reply to: I'm a newly single climbing (sport, if it's relevant) girl. I've been exploring my dating options. My first thought was to pick through the assortment of choices amongst the local climbing crowd. There is a beneficial girl to boy ratio. My dilemma is what type of climber to go for. The boulderers are pretty hot, sending projects with their shirts off. Sport climbers...the obvious benefit of having a combo boyfriend/climbing partner. And then there's the trad bunch...who also have a certain "je ne sais quoi" about them.
Whoa, whoa, whoa crazy girl...you absolutely can't go spraying French around trad climbers. Everybody knows that. People will immediately assume you're some sort of testosterone-deficient bolt-clipping sport-weenie...which...ummm...you are, I guess...kinda by definition, being a woman sport climber and all. Ummm...yeah.
Dating a boulderer is very much like dating a puppy. Oooh, he's so cute. He runs around all over, messes up your apartment and poops in novel and inappropriate places. Stare deep into his eyes and he will stare into your soul, rub his belly and he will love you forever...but take off your clothes in a moment of passion and he will...ummm...run around and possibly...errr, poop...somewhere. Also, be prepared to spend a lot of time in a dank cave while he endlessly fondles the crux holds of the proj...ever thought you could be jealous of a crimper? You can.
Dating a sport climber is an exercise in freakish co-dependency with a side order of passive-agressive behavior garnished with self loathing. If your boyfriend is stronger than you, he will despise you yet need the validation your inferiority provides. If you are stronger than him, he will hate you for emasculating him in his extra-snug redpoint spandex and seek to subvert your achievements by giving you bad beta and short roping you through the crux. Ideally, you will both develop psychologically-based eating disorders and take up chain smoking to relax. Your relationship is 99% likely to end with him dangling 25 feet off the deck, tied off to a tree and sceaming profanity as you develop a sudden interest in bouldering.
So...should you date a Trad climber? I've never actually met one, but from what I read online they are clearly virile men of adventure, wild and free like lions...or eagles...or some sort of magical eagle-lion...an eagle-lion with a righteous rack. Check it out, he's totally got triples from .5 to 3", with an outrageous set of aliens and enough bongs, chocks, hexes, squidgies, and nuts to nearly fill a blacked-out Chevy panel van. Stop on over and he'll show you...it's the one with the missing rear bumper...cause, y'know...Layton Kor sawed it into pitons back in '73. Bring some beer...and...corned beef hash, if you have any. Oh, toilet paper. Yeah. And more beer.
Allez. Be strong, sister. Homard.
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dirtineye
Feb 21, 2006, 7:08 PM
Post #719 of 977
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This thread must not fall to the second page.
Someone is not holding their end up.
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mikej
Feb 21, 2006, 9:27 PM
Post #720 of 977
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nOOBmaster,
Excited from seeing the incredibly accurate climbing movie, "vertical limit", i was wondering when i climb with 8 friends on the same rope, if someone falls, endangering the rest of us, who do we cut loose first (8 being lowest, 1 being highest) ? Please respond quickly as our rope is about to break and my parents roof is very high. Lucky for me i have my necessary palm pilot on me for sticky situations.
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gt29905
Feb 21, 2006, 10:44 PM
Post #721 of 977
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Posts: 167
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I'm an eagle-lion. Well, kind of... you know... I've got potential.
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sactownclimber
Feb 22, 2006, 12:06 AM
Post #722 of 977
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Posts: 216
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dear nOOb,
I ashamed to admit that I have slacked off and have not been reading this thread lately. Since I had the afternoon off, I went back and have been trying to read the last ten pages or so, but rc.com has been notoriously slow as of late, and I've spent about the last three hours pressing the "next page" link, hoping I could actually make some reasonable amount of progress through the thread. With your vast knowledge of the interweb, maybe you could make some suggestions to the rc.com powers-that-be about improving the reliablity of this site so that other rc.com nOObs can easily peruse all 97 pages of this great thread.
Also, it's been a while since you posted a "Ask the nOOb" recap . . . maybe you could just edit your very first post to include a page-by-page synopsis so that we can browse to our favorite topics more easily.
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subtle
Feb 23, 2006, 12:43 AM
Post #723 of 977
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Ahhh, fresh questions...excellent. Let me just blow the dust off my keyboard and get to work...ummm...which will be a couple of days, when I get back from a family trip I have to go on. As always, please feel free to post questions and I'll work through them when I return.
Allez. It's been so long, I barely remember my catch phrase. Homard.
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canadian_mentat
Feb 23, 2006, 12:59 PM
Post #724 of 977
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Dear nOOb:
I am a hardcore sport climber with a serious dilemma. You see, I climb with the new SuperSportUltra9000 Harness which weighs in at under 2 oz. but only has two gear loops (which are made of dental floss in order to cut down on weight). The problem is that there simply isn't enough room on the gear loops to fit everything I need to work my latest (and hardest) ill proj. (I'm tentatively calling it "Let's See Sharma Do This" and I think it'll go at around 5.16d). I need to bring about 15 draws (the proj. only has 6 bolts but I might drop draws while trying to clip due to the unbearable pump), a spare pair of size 4 Testarossas (I climb with Venoms but while I was rap-bolting the proj. I noticed a place where I might have to pull a rad heel hook that might pull my left slipper right off my foot so I need to bring the Testarossas up with me in case I have to switch shoes), my camcorder (I'm going to need video evidence so I can prove I actually sent the proj. plus I'm going to need something to send to all of my future sponsors so they'll want to sign me), a can of mousse along with a mirror and comb (I don't want to look bad on camera), a spare bag of loose chalk (there's no way my chalk bag will fit enough to finish the route), a rappel device (I wouldn't want to lower through the anchors when I finally send the proj.) and a few leaver-biners (so I can get down without leaving draws behind when the proj. spits me off).
I'm thinking about putting some of this gear on a gear sling. If I go this route, I was also thinking about bringing up some natural pro with me so that I can place some pieces in between the bolts. They're spaced pretty far apart and as far as I'm concerned, taking repeated 10' whippers while trying to work out the crux sequence would be crazy (I don't even know if my 4.5mm rope would hold those kinds of falls). I could borrow some Aliens from my trad-climbing friend. What do you think? If I do this will I still be sport climbing? I don't think so...I think I'd be doing some kind of sport/trad hybrid climbing. I could call it spad climbing I guess.
Also, if I decide to go with the spad technique, should I bring along some ham sammiches? I don't know if that would be a good idea because they seem very fattening (I only eat about half of banana a day in order to keep myself light so I can send harder proj's...I'm 6' 2" and right now I weigh 127 lbs.) and I don’t know how I’d carry them as I don’t have any pockets in my spandex capris…Would I still be able to wear my spandex capris? Would I have to wear a shirt?
Please help.
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lewisiarediviva
Feb 24, 2006, 4:43 AM
Post #725 of 977
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Noob,
What will happen when this thread has been viewed 1,000,000 times? I noticed tonight when looking at "My Topics" that the viewed column appears to only hold 6 digits. And this thread has like 111,867 or something views. Will 1,000,000 views be the end of the world as we know it?
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