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phugganut
Dec 2, 2006, 6:38 PM
Post #26 of 97
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lisamariewillbe wrote: Im sorry I dont see what was sent to her to be sexual harrassement. She and another person of the opposite sex started talking, they had many things in common, and talked about everything from rocks, to life. He goes with the flow and brings up something of sexual nature, she freaks and tells him not to contact her again. So he hasnt since then. Wheres the harrassement? Wheres the "he did something wrong" This is just like the real world. If someone in a bar asks you out and you say no, do you stand at a mic and shout to everyone what a pervert this person is? I think this is a blantent attack on the man who started a friendship, felt a connection on a different level and went in to try to see if there was more to you and him. Hes on this site and you are posting this? He left you alone after you asked him to , so why come post this? To rub it in his face.... I find it funny that people can think they can get to know someone on a site like this and be shocked when approached. The sexual harrassement card is played to often. I sexually harrass people all the time, and they love it  *disclaimer- sorry for being serious, Ill go back to my dusting.... 
Well said. Maybe there was more to the exchange than the OP stated above, but I just don't see how saying that someone grabbed your butt is sexual harrassment. If I was that guy, and if things are as they seem, then I'd be thankful to find out about your thin skin before I joked about something really bad.
FWIW, if your get that worked up over 1 comment like that then you would probably be offended about 6000 times hanging out around the campfire for 1 night with my crew, which by the way is largely composed of women.
It reminds me of the quote: "Often when a person is offended it says more about the person being offended than it does about the person doing the offending." Wise words from a wise man.
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timstich
Dec 2, 2006, 8:06 PM
Post #27 of 97
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carabiner96 wrote: Ok, if someone here made a real effort to go out to climb with me, spend time with me - sure, I'd fall for an RC.com boy. However, starting out with a (and I quote) "damn girl, I'll belay you cause i wanna watch that" isn't the way to make a good first impression.
Bwa ha ha ha. Someone actually said that to you? What a maroon.
And I concur with the contention that no harassment occurred with the original poster. Dude offended her, she said back off, and he did. Case closed.
(This post was edited by timstich on Dec 2, 2006, 8:09 PM)
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cracklover
Dec 2, 2006, 9:19 PM
Post #28 of 97
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Reno, that's fucked up.
GO
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curt
Dec 2, 2006, 11:08 PM
Post #29 of 97
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reno wrote: ...I'll also apologize that a select few have decided to take your thread and concerns and turn it into their own pulpit to make up false allegations. Wish I could say it won't happen again, but.....
Were it not for your own juvenile offer to rush in on your white horse to rescue the damsel in distress and punish the evil user, I sincerely doubt anyone would have mounted the pulpit.
Curt
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organic
Dec 2, 2006, 11:28 PM
Post #30 of 97
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According to Title VI of the Civil rights act of 1964 sexual harassment has to involve employment of some sort. ie. me saying something to anyone anywhere who is not a coworker or is not at my place of work is not sexual harassment. Stop jumping on guys for being guys.
http://www.eeoc.gov/policy/vii.html
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climbsomething
Dec 3, 2006, 2:48 AM
Post #31 of 97
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cracklover wrote: Reno, that's fucked up. GO
Oh, and organic, quitcher trollin'! 
edit: I forgot my tonguey face!
(This post was edited by climbsomething on Dec 3, 2006, 2:49 AM)
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stymingersfink
Dec 3, 2006, 2:49 AM
Post #32 of 97
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lisamariewillbe wrote: Im sorry I dont see what was sent to her to be sexual harrassement. She and another person of the opposite sex started talking, they had many things in common, and talked about everything from rocks, to life. He goes with the flow and brings up something of sexual nature, she freaks and tells him not to contact her again. So he hasnt since then. Wheres the harrassement? Wheres the "he did something wrong" This is just like the real world. If someone in a bar asks you out and you say no, do you stand at a mic and shout to everyone what a pervert this person is? I think this is a blantent attack on the man who started a friendship, felt a connection on a different level and went in to try to see if there was more to you and him. Hes on this site and you are posting this? He left you alone after you asked him to , so why come post this? To rub it in his face.... I find it funny that people can think they can get to know someone on a site like this and be shocked when approached. The sexual harrassement card is played to often. I sexually harrass people all the time, and they love it *disclaimer- sorry for being serious, Ill go back to my dusting....
as the sign said above the bar I worked in (quite) some years ago:
SEXUAL HARRASMENT IS NOT A PROBLEM AROUND HERE
...it's one of the only benefits we've got!
but seriously now: someone makes you feel uncomfortable be a big boy/girl and tell them they make you feel uncomfortable. if it continues (and in this case it seems to have stopped) THEN there's gonna be a problem.
I had a situation at (a different) work(place) several years ago when an uptight religiously-based co-worker felt uncomfortable with my sense of humor. rather than tell me so, she went straight to HR, which resulted in some rather unpleasant and unnecessary bullsh!t.
at least in this case someone had the courtesy to confront PERSONALLY, first.
<aside.>
lisamariewillbe - I will never accuse you of sexually harassing me. Ever. I promise ;)
</aside>
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cracklover
Dec 3, 2006, 3:08 AM
Post #33 of 97
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climbsomething wrote: cracklover wrote: Reno, that's fucked up. GO Huh?
What don't you get, Hillary? Reno thinks it's funny to drop kick users for bullshit reasons. I think that's fucked up. Is that clear enough?
GO
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lagr01
Dec 3, 2006, 3:47 AM
Post #34 of 97
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Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.
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hangerlessbolt
Dec 3, 2006, 3:49 AM
Post #35 of 97
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lagr01 wrote: Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.
Where'd you find me? Myspace or eHarmony?
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climbsomething
Dec 3, 2006, 3:50 AM
Post #36 of 97
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cracklover wrote: climbsomething wrote: cracklover wrote: Reno, that's fucked up. GO Huh? What don't you get, Hillary? Reno thinks it's funny to drop kick users for bullshit reasons. I think that's fucked up. Is that clear enough? GO
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hangerlessbolt
Dec 3, 2006, 3:51 AM
Post #37 of 97
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climbsomething wrote: cracklover wrote: climbsomething wrote: cracklover wrote: Reno, that's fucked up. GO Huh? What don't you get, Hillary? Reno thinks it's funny to drop kick users for bullshit reasons. I think that's fucked up. Is that clear enough? GO I getcha. I just didn't take him seriously.
I didn't think anyone did
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htotsu
Dec 3, 2006, 4:04 AM
Post #38 of 97
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lisamariewillbe wrote: Hes on this site and you are posting this? He left you alone after you asked him to , so why come post this? To rub it in his face....
1) Because she was mad. She has that right. Her post angered you, and you got to say so. That's how it works.
2) To say that if anyone else happens to be interested in such discussions with her, they are not welcome. She wants to talk about climbing (such a crazy, crazy thing to want around here). You yourself wrote that men are likely to want to approach her that way. She is simply saving them the trouble.
And who are you to instruct her to "take it as flattery"? If she feels there's a time and a place for it then she gets do decide when she is comfortable getting hit on, no less than you get to decide those things for yourself. She's allowed to have different boundaries from yours.
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climbsomething
Dec 3, 2006, 4:04 AM
Post #39 of 97
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Well, let's be fair here. I am not ready to convict this guy based on what the OP wrote (to include the part where she says she told him to back off and he did), but we haven't seen the PMs from him. And not knowing who he is, we don't have any posts to judge his personality off of. Details are relatively skimpy.
Pretty much any girl who is a big poster here (and even some who aren't) get awkward if not creepy PMs from guys. Every girl reacts differently. Most of the time, I think we just blow the PMs off (I do) but maybe loricat was really offended. I hope she took it up with the mods and they came to a reasonable conclusion. Based on my experiences, they always have, and that's better than releasing the experience to the peanut gallery anyway. Sexual harrassment has always been touchy around here (in protecting both sides, honestly) and I am confident it was dealt with properly.
(This post was edited by climbsomething on Dec 3, 2006, 4:07 AM)
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curt
Dec 3, 2006, 4:33 AM
Post #40 of 97
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climbsomething wrote: ...Pretty much any girl who is a big poster here (and even some who aren't) get awkward if not creepy PMs from guys. Every girl reacts differently. Most of the time, I think we just blow the PMs off (I do)...
That would explain why you don't answer--I always thought you just weren't getting them.
Seriously, this thread has become somewhat hostile because:
1) Sexual harrassment is not funny.
but
2) Calling something "sexual harrassment" which isn't is not funny either.
I'm sorry that someone here offended the OP but I personally think she could have handled the situation better.
Curt
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cracklover
Dec 3, 2006, 4:55 AM
Post #41 of 97
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climbsomething wrote: cracklover wrote: climbsomething wrote: cracklover wrote: Reno, that's fucked up. GO Huh? What don't you get, Hillary? Reno thinks it's funny to drop kick users for bullshit reasons. I think that's fucked up. Is that clear enough? GO I getcha. I just didn't take him seriously.
Now it's my turn not to get it. How does... In reply to: You're welcome to send me a private message and tell me who this user was. I'll be happy to climb the corner post and drop kick his ass outta here. Sexual harassment is NOT allowed. If you feel you've been harassed, please let us know.
... not sound like a request for the user's name so he can be disciplined?
GO
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lisamariewillbe
Dec 3, 2006, 4:56 AM
Post #42 of 97
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In reply to: 1) Because she was mad. She has that right. Her post angered you, and you got to say so. That's how it works.
Very little angers me, it did entertain me though and I got a few good laughs.
In reply to: 2) To say that if anyone else happens to be interested in such discussions with her, they are not welcome. She wants to talk about climbing
In all honestly thats not correct, if she wanted to just talk about climbing then she would have changed the subject way before he mentioned the BDSM thing. She herself stated they talked about everything and were becoming friends. What she did do was call out a person on here without saying their name. He is intently watching this hoping he doesnt get named. I think thats rude but I dont care, I love others airing thier laundry
In reply to: You yourself wrote that men are likely to want to approach her that way. She is simply saving them the trouble.
I wrote that to someone else actually, the person I wrote that to was a sexy, funny, and intelligent person. I dont know the original poster nor have I seen their picture.
In reply to: If she feels there's a time and a place for it then she gets do decide when she is comfortable getting hit on
If someone doesnt like to get hit on then they should say so in a way not to embarrasse the person thats hitting on them. Its part of life, people get hit on, turned down, etc etc, if people want to spend their lives feeling wounded by others actions so be it. Accept life and all it give you and youll be happier .... I choose to turn down people without insulting them on a public thread, the original poster chooses to do it this way
In reply to: She's allowed to have different boundaries from yours.
Of course, and thats a fair assessment coming from someone who is attacking someone for having a different assessment then you. Step off the pulpit, remove the rock from your ass and read what I stated earlier and dont twist my words. I speak what I mean when I mean it, dont like it, oh well move on to the next poster. Im blunt and thats me, dont like it??? Darn Ill just stick with the bazillion others who prefer to not have to try to read my mind or guess what my posts mean.
Lifes to short to constently be wounded. At least thats how I feel, you are free to be who you are. However when you respond to me, make sure your not twisting what I say and who I say it to around because thats about as annoying as tan lines and bikini stubble
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the_mitt
Dec 3, 2006, 5:01 AM
Post #43 of 97
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I only have one question are you sure your not a climber. Man I think I'm in love.
Mitt but you can call me mittens :)
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the_mitt
Dec 3, 2006, 5:24 AM
Post #45 of 97
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LOL
M
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organic
Dec 3, 2006, 6:24 AM
Post #46 of 97
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climbsomething wrote: cracklover wrote: Reno, that's fucked up. GO Huh? Oh, and organic, quitcher trollin'! edit: I forgot my tonguey face!
SEXUAL HARASSMENT! Does trollin' imply I like to do nasty things in dark caves or under bridges?
anyways if it was me the OP was posting about which it might be I can never keep who I PM straight. I would be proud that women pinch my ass! YES I SAID IT! I LIKE IT WHEN WOMEN PINCH MY ASS! If you don't believe me check out the ugly mug thread!
PS. If any women want to PM about setting up a time to pinch my ass feel free but climbing is right out because who wants a female climbing partner?
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htotsu
Dec 3, 2006, 8:21 AM
Post #47 of 97
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lisamariewillbe wrote: In reply to: You yourself wrote that men are likely to want to approach her that way. She is simply saving them the trouble. I wrote that to someone else actually, the person I wrote that to was a sexy, funny, and intelligent person. I dont know the original poster nor have I seen their picture.
lisamariewillbe wrote: and thats a fair assessment coming from someone who is attacking someone for having a different assessment then you.
lisamariewillbe wrote: However when you respond to me, make sure your not twisting what I say and who I say it to
Either way, there are others here who have suggested that the OP is somehow incorrect for being upset by the message she received. I still say she gets to decide for herself whether something is permitted to upset her.
lisamariewillbe wrote: In reply to: She wants to talk about climbing In all honestly thats not correct, if she wanted to just talk about climbing then she would have changed the subject way before he mentioned the BDSM thing. She herself stated they talked about everything and were becoming friends.
In all honesty that is not correct? So you have seen their exchange of PMs? What she said wasloricatfish wrote: We talked about climbing and life. It was very nice...then he started talking about dominant women grabbing his ass.
lisamariewillbe wrote: If someone doesnt like to get hit on then they should say so in a way not to embarrasse the person thats hitting on them. ... Darn Ill just stick with the bazillion others who prefer to not have to try to read my mind or guess what my posts mean. ...
Or his, for that matter. You don't know that he's biting his nails, petrified that he will be named. He may fully stand behind his PM to her. In any case, nowhere has the OP suggested that she has any intention of revealing that guy's ID. She responded to him, he stopped, and that was that. She posted here to vent, and to say for the record that she doesn't want such messages. And she has done so without in any way compromising the "P" nature of the PM she received.
(This post was edited by htotsu on Dec 3, 2006, 8:42 AM)
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climbsomething
Dec 3, 2006, 8:30 AM
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Well, I like pinching man butt. But a truly pinchable man butt is hard to find!
And GO, I see how you think that. I kinda figured people would react that way when I first read the post, given the current milieu of the site. But I simply don't personally believe that reno meant to sound overzealous. He probly wanted to investigate the matter, as mods always do when somebody makes such a claim, and was just trying to inject some levity.
Reno is known around here and while not everybody agrees with him, especially in the community forum, he's an active long-time member who actually knows people offline and has definitely made his personality known online. So there's one major reason why I choose to sympathize with him, but am not so ready to give some other managers the benefit of the doubt when they publicly step on their dodes.
(This post was edited by climbsomething on Dec 3, 2006, 8:33 AM)
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hangerlessbolt
Dec 3, 2006, 11:38 AM
Post #49 of 97
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climbsomething wrote: Well, I like pinching man butt. But a truly pinchable man butt is hard to find!
~T liked to pinky scoop my butt...at first it was uncomfortable, but now I'm up to three fingers...woo hoo!
(This post was edited by hangerlessbolt on Dec 3, 2006, 12:29 PM)
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lisamariewillbe
Dec 3, 2006, 12:30 PM
Post #50 of 97
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I heard there was a horse in here.... should I kick him or is he still alive?
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